


Lay all your love on me

by BeeCas, zation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean Winchester, Broke Dean, Cheating Dean Winchester, Cock Cages, College Student Dean Winchester, Daddy Kink, Dean in gaudy clothes and jewelry, Drinking, Drugs, Drunk Sex, Face-Fucking, Facials, Frottage, Gay Dean Winchester, Gentle Dom Castiel (Supernatural), Grinding, Hand Feeding, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Infidelity, Jealousy, Kissing, Lawyer Castiel (Supernatural), Light BDSM, M/M, Making Out, Older Alastair, POV Dean Winchester, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Partying, Powerful Castiel, Rimming, Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc. (Supernatural), Sex Toys, Sneaking Around, Soft Cas, Some angst, Strangers to Lovers, Sub Dean, Tired Dean, Top Alastair (Supernatural), Top Castiel (Supernatural), Unsafe Sex, Younger Dean, as in poor, bad dom Alastair, bad prepping, both bad and good anal sex, but also condoms and safe sex lol, but also super sweet sex!, but not overly so, controlling Alastair, fucking in love Cas, highly sexual themes and scenes, kinda sad backstory Dean, made-up university bullshit, minor dub-con, older Cas but not as old as Alastair lol, only Alastair does the drugs though, rich af Cas, rough and not nice sex, service top Castiel, sexual abuse of a lollipop, subdrop (in a way), sugar baby dean, sugar daddy Alastair, you know it likes it though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-07-07 17:56:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19856509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeCas/pseuds/BeeCas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: Dean’s been Alastair’s sugar baby for years but lately it has started feeling like more trouble than it’s worth. Enter Cas.Or,The one where Dean doesn’t think he deserves to be loved and where Castiel endeavors to prove him wrong.





	1. First impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y’all! 
> 
> I’m back with another longer fic, this time a collaboration with my beta BeeCas! I’ve tagged her as co-author and rightfully so, the text is all me but every scene idea came from her beautiful mind and I want you to give her the credit she deserves (even though she doesn’t agree with me). This has been in the works for a long time, almost a year, simmering in the background and I’m very happy to finally present it to you :D
> 
> I will just take a moment to warn about some of the tags, please read them all before reading! I might have gone overboard on them but I want you to know what you’re getting yourself into because while this fic will have some sweet _sweet_ Destiel, it will also have not-at-all nice Alastair/Dean moments. In that regard, be attentive because there _will_ be Destiel while Dean and Alastair are still together, I hope the reason for Dean cheating will be clear enough but if you are wholly against cheating in any form I advise against reading at all <333  
> Please notice that I have not tagged the fic itself with the Archive Warning "Rape/non-con" but that I have added the extra tag "minor dub-con". I hope that the distinction will be clear as the story progresses. But anyway, beware that some parts of this fic will hurt <333
> 
> Now, let’s have fun getting emotionally invested in Dean and his lacking self-respect! :D  
> Thank you to all my wonderful regulars who stand by me in everything I do and _thank you_ to all new readers, you are more than welcome to the Zation Nation!   
> And as always, thank you BeeCas, my sun and stars <333
> 
> (Title is of course from ABBA’s [song with the same name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2seCB54Bv-c), watch me work some of the lyrics in the fic as well lol)

  


When Dean was younger he had plans for himself. Grow up, graduate with an awesome degree, get a cushy job and move out of Lawrence. Looking back at his middle school years he realized he’d been fucking naïve and there was really nothing he could do about that now although he wished he could go back to his teenage self and tell him to study harder. Get that scholarship, take control of your life.

But at fourteen everything had seemed like a black hole and when it didn’t, his life was a vortex of swirling emotions, too caught up in his hormones and dad’s death to care about school. At 4 Dean lost his mother in a house fire, Sammy was just a baby but dad was the one that needed tending to, wasn’t like anybody had much time left for Dean. And then, ten years later, dad’s alcoholism caught up to him. Too many bourbons, or whisky, or that stale vodka that smelled like gasoline, and dad went head-first down the basement stairs.

Bobby took Sam and Dean in then, tear-eyed and mumbling about John being his army buddy. Fuck, Sammy had been so scared all the fucking time for the first six months but Bobby was alright, better than dad in some ways. He taught Dean how to change tires and he took them hunting. Oh Sam cried about that too, snotty little ten-year-old whining about how the deer hadn’t done nothing to deserve death but he was the one who ate the most of Bambi’s mother.

So yeah, Dean was mad most of the time at that part of his life but it was actually an okay time, looking back at it. Bobby was a kind man and he tried his best to take care of them, even shaped up and stopped being the town drunk to start up his junkyard business again so they’d grow up somewhat okay. But money was tight, Dean was no fucking fool and he saw how Bobby fussed over tuitions and he _knew,_ fuck he knew that both he and Sam wanted to go to college, that Bobby wanted that too, but that the money would never be enough.

Bobby hadn’t saved for this shit, hadn’t thought he’d ever have a second chance at having a kid with college dreams after his wife died way before Dean was even born. He wasn’t at fault, old coot he just did what he could. Dean felt bad for him, still did.

It had been so easy, talking Bobby into keeping all that money for Sam instead. Gotta protect Sammy after all, runt of the litter and much smarter than Dean anyway.

“I could get a scholarship,” Dean had said, almost wincing at the disbelief in his own tone. Bobby had looked at him with eyes shrouded by his ball cap, expression unreadable and maybe that had been for the best or Dean would have tucked tail and ran. “Or a job. I’m working at the movies now, I could do that later too.”

Bobby had sucked on his teeth for a moment and Dean knew what he had been contemplating. The same two things that Dean had been thinking about himself. Firstly, that a scholarship would be crazy hard to get and secondly that if he managed to get into virtually _any_ of the universities that offered Aerospace Engineering he wouldn’t have time to work anyway. Because that shit was hard and yet it was all Dean wanted to do. Wanted to understand, design, repair, and build spacecrafts. And he _knew_ he would have to devote all of his time to it if he ever got the chance to, couldn’t afford to split his time between studies and work. And Bobby knew too, Dean had seen it in the old man’s eyes.

And yet, all he had said was, “I better take you out and show you some stuff you can do with a car. You’ll be too old to work in the movies when you get to college.”

Dean had nodded, even though his supervisor at the local movie theatre in Sioux Falls was well over 40. Dean didn’t mind, though. Everything Bobby could teach him about cars would be useful if he got to study in his selected field when the time came.

Easy, Dean thought now, it had been so easy to convince Bobby and Sam that he managed to swing a job on the side now. Thirteen hours away, at the Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, Dean could tell them just about anything and they would be happy just hearing that he was alive and well.

Because yes, he had gotten to study Aerospace Engineering and it didn’t matter much to him that he had only managed to get into the 25th university on Brightlinkprep’s list of _“Top 25 Aeronautical & Aerospace Engineering Universities in USA” _ or that the tuition had been sky-high because Dean hadn’t been considered in-state. The only thing that mattered was that the studies were _so interesting_ , that he had gotten such good friends at the university and that he had somewhere to stay that didn’t cost him anything besides time and energy.

And it was so easy to lie to Bobby and Sam too. They had only been to visit him one time and he had gone home twice over the last four years. Travelling was expensive and time consuming and though Dean missed them both it was fine, was just for now anyway. And it was better this way anyhow. Because lying over the phone was easy, straight to the face was not and Dean would rather avoid it.

“Ten minutes, Dean,” Daddy said, poking his head into the bathroom where Dean was, studying his reflection. “Oh good, you wore the green one,” he left with that and Dean felt his shoulders relax, unaware that he had tensed up when Daddy entered, disrupting Dean’s reverie.

Daddy was of course not Dean’s real father, dead and burned as he was and for a moment there Dean had been scared that dad’s body had been so satiated with alcohol that it would flare up and burn down the whole town.

No, in reality Daddy was Alastair Heyerdahl and he was a man in his fifties who worked as a corporate lawyer for the Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc. He was also Dean’s sugar daddy and the only reason he was able to go to college in the first place. He had moved to Columbus, hell bent on managing a job as well as his studies. And it had worked, for a while. He had been a barista at the fancy coffee shop just off campus and had been living in an apartment made for one with two other guys. And he had been a corpse walking.

Then Daddy had come to buy a coffee and basically picked Dean up and Dean had thought, “Fuck it, right? Fuck it if this old man wants to use my body and show me off to his colleagues, he also wants to shower me with money and give me a whole goddamn mansion to leisure around in.”

That was almost three years ago and Dean regretted a lot of his life choices but for the most part he just focused on his studies because they were what was important. His was good at it, according to his professors, and he had fun. That Daddy’s touches had started to make Dean’s skin crawl was another matter. At least he didn’t hit Dean, Daddy’s abuse wasn’t really abuse, in the eyes of the law.

Dean sighed and looked over his image once more before exiting the bathroom. Tonight was one of Daddy’s many, _many,_ dinner parties that were really only an excuse to drink and do drugs and partake in any and all kinds of debauchery. Dean hated it.

Daddy loved to showcase Dean as some kind of exotic animal and all of Daddy’s friend would hum and haw and look at him with glittering eyes that said, “We know exactly what this is. A 21-year-old living with a man 30 years his senior, clad in the finest clothes and brightest jewelry? You’re fooling no one.”

And the funny thing was that for a while Dean had thought he _would_ be fooling everybody. Hell, Bobby was even older than Alastair and no one thought it was weird that _he_ had taken in two unrelated boys. Then again, Bobby _never_ touched Sam or Dean like Daddy touched Dean.

And once the cat was out of the bag there was really no meaning in hiding it anymore. And Daddy didn’t want to hide it, wanted to parade Dean around, wanted to _flaunt_ him in his greedy coworkers’ and friends’ faces because Dean was strictly to be looked at and not touched because Daddy was possessive and that was probably the only reason why Dean hadn’t run screaming yet.

Because Daddy really took care of him, fed him and paid for all his expenses with the flick of his wrist. And as long as Dean was willing to play his good little baby boy the older man would keep doing it and Dean wouldn’t ever have to worry about being exploited by other men or about losing his studies.

Those facts didn’t stop Dean from hating it, though. Or maybe hate was a strong word… more like extreme dislike. Because yeah, sex with Daddy wasn’t really stars and rainbows and all that other shit but what the fuck did Dean know anyway? Stupid kid coming to the big city hoping to find love, nah that wasn’t for him. He just wished the sex could be more gratifying but at least it wasn’t very painful, most of the time. Well, it hadn’t been in the beginning, at least.

He stopped for a moment in his and Daddy’s bedroom, drawing deep breaths and trying to find his center. He needed to smile and be courteous, flirty but not _too_ flirty. Just to let people know he was a catch and that it was Daddy that had caught him. Dean often had to pep talk himself into doing this so he would be able to look as if he was having the time of his life and that he was so stupidly in love with Daddy that he couldn’t possibly see anyone else.

The fact that he had a ton of homework he’d rather do or that his mind called for a blissful break in which to watch some cartoons and eat cereal from the box in his undies didn’t matter. Nor did it matter that he _hated_ this green top and how girly it made him look. Or that he despised all the goddamn jewelry Daddy forced on him. He looked like a goddamn Christmas tree for fuck’s sake.

On every arm he wore three to four gold bracelets and they made jingling sounds as he moved. His fingers were covered in rings, big and cumbersome, and around his neck he wore a necklace so heavy with precious gems that it weighed down his chest and made breathing difficult.

Daddy had had Dean’s ear pierced almost immediately and it hadn’t hurt as much as Dean had thought it would and he had thought that yeah, a smooth golden ring or maybe a clear stone would perhaps be cool. The gaudy loops of gold and diamonds were not very cool.

They hung low, swishing with his every movement but that was fine, that was okay. What was worse was the thin golden chain wrapped into his hair like a fucking tiara or, infinitely worse, the fucking choker Daddy had bought for this occasion. It was tight and uncomfortable, heavy from the glittering diamonds covering it and, humiliatingly, there was a golden chain attached to it. It would be fucking awesome for Daddy to wrap that chain around his hand and lead Dean around like some kind of glistening dog but for now it only hung awkwardly, long enough to act as a goddamn arrow to his crotch. And fuck, these jeans were so _tight_ and so _low_.

With the tank top Daddy had picked out with just a meaningful look, Dean’s combined look made him look DTF as all hell. His hipbones were showing and it would be clear to anyone that looked that Daddy always made Dean sun-bathe in his birthday suit to minimize the risk of tan lines. And with how tight the jeans were he bet his ass looked rounder than usual and his soft dick was squished so that his bulge looked bigger than normal. He sighed again, hugging himself once, gritting his teeth, and thought about the project he and Benny were working on at uni, how awesome that would be once it was finished.

Then he pinched his nipples to make them stand out more and walked out of the bedroom, heading in the direction of the dinner party that was really more of a _party-_ party because the dinner was only snacks with a side-order of speed.

Dean caught sight of himself in the reflection of the fridge as he cut through the kitchen and forced himself to smile. Fuck, he thought he had fixed that before he left the bedroom but apparently his mind had slipped again. He had to be careful about shit like that, wouldn’t want to displease Daddy.

“Dean!”

Dean immediately veered off in the direction of Daddy’s voice. The living room was full of people in various states of inebriation and Dean knew that most of them probably had been hammered even before they got here. He was used to that and all he could do was hope that none of them would stay the night. Daddy wasn’t usually very generous with that but it happened and Dean always hated it because a hungover asshole sleeping on the couch meant no morning cartoons for Dean and they were really the only way for him to turn off his brain for a blissful, if short, while.

“Hi Daddy,” Dean said sweetly, adjusting his voice to go a little higher because he knew Daddy liked it like that. Liked his baby boy to be sweet and innocent for him, the fucking perv. Dean was just lucky he was a bit on the smaller side, having come out that way since he had insisted for most of his life that Sammy should have the bigger portion, or all the food if there was too little. Bobby had tried to change that but it was fine with Dean and money was tight at Bobby’s same as it had been at dad’s, though not to the same extent and not for the same reasons. Dean was just happy that Sammy hadn’t fussed and seemed to be growing at an exceeding rate. He would be bigger than Dean for sure and Dean felt strangely bittersweet when he thought about it.

“You look devastatingly beautiful tonight, baby,” Daddy drawled in his strange accent. In the beginning Dean had imagined that it could sound sexy, perhaps. Nowadays he wanted to smack Daddy up the head and tell him to clear his throat.

“Only because I have Daddy’s jewelry on,” Dean smiled and squirmed to get under Daddy’s arm.

The older man chuckled and pulled him closer, kissing him wetly and Dean took smug satisfaction in knowing Daddy’s lips would be smeared with the same lip gloss he insisted Dean wore at these parties.

“Ravishing as ever,” Daddy’s associate Abaddon said in a smooth voice. 

Abaddon scared Dean a bit. She was exceptionally beautiful with red hair and even redder lips, a figure to die for and a sharp mind and if Dean had been older and more powerful he might have wanted to do something with her. Not sex since Dean was pretty sure by now that he was all-the-way-gay but _something._ He wasn’t sure it was positive and sometimes he caught her looking at him as if she either wanted to fuck him or kill him. She struck him as the kind of person who would enjoy blood play and Dean’s heart thumped harder in fright just thinking about it.

Unconsciously he pressed closer to Daddy because no matter what Dean’s opinion on the older man was he was pretty sure Daddy would publicly execute Abaddon if she tried anything with Dean. It was probably a false sense of security but it was all Dean had and he clung desperately to it.

“Eager little minx, aren’t you?” Daddy drawled against Dean’s ear, completely misinterpreting the reason for Dean hiding against him but what did that matter? Nothing as long as Dean got away from Abaddon. “Come, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

They left Abaddon just standing there and Dean felt grateful for it. He knew, even with the poor upbringing he had had, that it was rude of them to just walk away from Abaddon but Daddy was the one in charge and the one people would look to and judge, which was freeing in situations like this. Dean wanted to just walk away and he could, because Daddy wanted him to and everyone who knew Alastair knew of his beautiful pet.

As if in an afterthought, Daddy grabbed the chain and tugged a little on it, even though Dean was walking beside him. He grinned lecherously and Dean tried his best to look aroused by the action. He couldn’t fake his pupils diluting from lust but Daddy didn’t seem to mind. His were mostly little pin-pricks anyway so Dean didn’t think Daddy was too focused on details right now anyway.

He barely cared that Dean didn’t always come when they had sex or that Dean most of the time didn’t even get hard for him so what would he care about dilated pupils? All he cared about was that Dean gave him his undivided attention and that he got to his knees and opened his mouth when Daddy wanted him to.

Dean had classified Daddy as a narcissistic psychopath long ago and was tempted to take a few psychology classes to see if he had it right.

Daddy led him the long way round the room, definitely to make sure as many people as possible saw Dean as he trotted obediently beside him. Dean felt like a fucking peacock in his bright clothes and glistening jewelry among the throngs of people in classic black and white, only broken by the occasional silver or beige. Dean had always thought it was funny that the richer people got the less color they put on.

The man Daddy eventually pulled Dean over to wasn’t much different. He wore an obviously tailored suit in a subtle dark grey shade, his dress shirt was white but at least not that starched white that made Dean’s eyes hurt and that glowed in UV-light. He was one of the few who had a tie on, a tasteful blue that matched both his eyes and pocket square. He looked somehow very put together and bored at the same time, in a way similar to how Dean was feeling.

His hair was either artfully styled to look like bed hair or he had actual bed hair. Thinking about it like that it looked almost a little cute, coming to a party this “sophisticated” with an untamed mop of hair like that. Or maybe he had just had sex in the closet by the guest bathroom and he hadn’t bothered to fix it, Dean was unsure which just from looking at him.

“Novak,” Daddy called and the man turned to them, took one fucking look at Dean and promptly seemed to swallow his tongue.

Dean _barely_ resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _“Fuck me,_ ” he thought, annoyed that of course this guy was just like all the rest. Daddy would be insufferable after this, would probably want to fuck Dean at least twice. How someone his age could have such a voracious appetite for sex Dean would never know but he suspected it had something to do with the drugs he was taking.

“Mr. Heyerdahl,” the man responded after gawking at Dean for only about five seconds, which Dean thought was some kind of record. Either people couldn’t resist staring because he was a freak in their eyes or, mostly, they wanted him for themselves. Kudos to the man for schooling his expression so fast, Dean thought with a glimmer of respect.

Sure, his face was carefully neutral and it would fool anyone, except Dean who could still see the fire in the man’s eyes. They twitched and Dean smiled sweetly, imagining that the man was trying to resist the urge to run his eyes over Dean’s whole body. Oh he would, as soon as Dean and Daddy turned their backs, but for now he did his best to seem respectful and that was more than Dean could say for most of Daddy’s friends.

“Don’t call me that in my home,” Daddy laughed, a raspy sound that sent chills down Dean’s spine. Thankfully he was distracted from that by Daddy pulling on the chain so that Dean bumped into him. “I’m Alastair tonight and this,” he nosed against Dean’s hair and that stupid fucking tiara thing. “This is my baby boy. Say hi to daddy’s new colleague, baby.”

The man’s eyes widened a fraction but that smoothed out too. If Daddy was hoping to startle a reaction out of the man he would apparently be sorely disappointed.

Dean took a sinuous step closer when Daddy loosened his grip on the chain and as soon as Dean cut into the line of sight, coming in-between the man and Daddy, the man’s eyes widened again. His gaze intensified and he didn’t fucking wait with checking Dean out that was for fucking sure. No, as soon as Dean was in the way, obscuring Daddy’s sight, the man let his eyes rake up and down Dean’s body and fucking hell, he looked like he wanted to eat Dean whole.

But somehow, in some unexplainable way, Dean didn’t get the same vibes as he got from Abaddon or any of Daddy’s other colleagues. He felt bolded by the gaze instead and stretched out his hand, every movement carefully calculated to appear as appealing as possible.

“I’m Dean,” he murmured, voice lowered a pitch now that he was directing his attention to someone other than Daddy.

Instead of meeting Dean with his own right hand, the man caught Dean’s in his left and turned it, bending down to kiss the back of his hand. The kiss was light, barely there, and Dean didn’t know why but he held his breath as he felt the man’s surprisingly soft lips brush his skin.

“Charmed,” the man murmured back, his voice lowered too and suddenly everything felt much more intimate.

“This is Castiel Novak,” Daddy’s voice suddenly boomed and jerked Dean out of the weird trance he’d found himself in. He practically jumped back and went to worm his arms around Daddy like an octopus. Daddy didn’t mind, Dean knew, in fact he loved it when Dean was clinging to him and usually Dean kind of hated it just because Daddy liked it but right now he didn’t know what he was feeling. He peeked at Castiel Novak and found that the man had schooled his expression again and was looking at Daddy. “He just moved here from Chicago and will be filling the role left by Joshua’s demise.”

Dean didn’t know who Joshua was because he had never once accepted Daddy’s dinner invites, which led Dean to believe Joshua was an okay guy. All he knew was that he had been old and that Daddy had hated him, probably because he was more concerned with doing their job and not partying.

“I see,” Dean said, still peeking fake-shyly at Mr. Novak. He wondered if the man could tell or not.

“I’m sure you’ll make a great addition to our team,” Daddy said, a certain sting to his words as if he was hoping to bring Mr. Novak into the fold with just his words alone. “Naomi spoke very highly of you.”

Mr. Novak flinched at the mention of Naomi. It was barely perceptible and Dean thought that if he hadn’t gotten so good at gauging other people’s reactions over the years he wouldn’t have noticed it. Daddy certainly hadn’t.

“I’m hoping working for the main HQ will prove interesting and fruitful,” Mr. Novak responded and it sounded so rehearsed Dean started thinking the man didn’t want to be here anymore than Dean.

“Oh, it will,” Daddy said in his rasp and turned to lead Dean away again.

Mr. Novak wisely stayed put and when Dean turned his head he saw the man definitely checking out his ass. Unlike all the rest of Daddy’s asshole friends Mr. Novak seemed embarrassed to get caught, though. An interesting reaction in a night otherwise filled with boring repetitiveness, Dean thought as he obediently poured Daddy a glass of his ridiculously expensive chardonnay.

*****

“Where’s my baby boy?”

Dean immediately begged off the company he had been entertaining and went to Daddy’s side. He’d lived long enough with the man now to know his whims and to judge his temper from the tone of his voice and Dean didn’t fancy a tantrum tonight.

His head was pounding and he was so fucking tired. It was late now, so late that many of the guests were drunk enough to literally be dancing on the tables, their voices loud as they screamed along with the loud music, laughing like maniacs.

“I missed you, Daddy,” Dean pouted as he all but flung himself into Daddy’s lap. The older man grunted but immediately started groping Dean as if there weren’t people all around them. Dean just went with it, gasping innocently when it felt appropriate and squirming into Daddy’s lecherous hand.

They were on one of the armchairs, people sitting around the littered coffee table and looking on with leers Dean felt like living things on his skin.

“You’re so fucking hot, baby,” Daddy groaned and Dean could already feel the man’s dick poking his ass. “Daddy’s own little fucktoy.”

Dean sighed inwardly, hoping that whatever Daddy had been drinking and doing this evening would be enough to kill his hard-on before Dean had to take care of it. Sex with sober Daddy was mostly whatever, sex with drunk Daddy was a hassle.

“Daddy, I’m embarrassed,” Dean mumbled, ducking his head shyly to appear more appeasing and it worked like it usually did because yeah, Daddy wanted to show Dean off but only to a certain extent.

“Here,” Daddy cooed, which sounded fucking stupid with his raspy voice. “Have some dip.”

Oh fuck, not this… Dean was hungry, that was for sure, but he _hated_ getting fed. He wasn’t a pet and he certainly wasn’t a kid, he felt so fucking stupid every time Daddy insisted on it and it was worse when he did it in front of other people. But it was arousing to him, Dean knew from experience, and yeah Dean could see how it could be. It was intimate and there could be a power play about it, sure. But Dean just… he was so fucking tired of it.

But when Daddy held up his finger, dipped directly into the bowl with no regard for sanitation, Dean opened his mouth like the obedient bitch he was playing and sucked it all down.

“That’s it, good boy,” Daddy wheezed and Dean felt the fucker’s dick jerking where he was sat, perched in Daddy’s lap. “Yeah wrap those cocksucker lips around me. Tastes good, yes?”

It well should with how expensive it was. Creamy and rich in flavor, just enough to cover Daddy’s usually pretty acrid taste. Dean was just hoping Daddy hadn’t been handling drugs with his fingers because last time that had happened Dean had ended up with some pretty nasty misfires.

“So good, Daddy,” he moaned prettily, licking his lips for emphasis and he thought Daddy either didn’t care one iota or he was in reality pretty stupid because anyone could fucking see how fake Dean was being right now.

“Feed him this, Al,” a man dressed in a sharp suit said and pushed over a bowl of grapes. Dean eyed the man, not remembering him from earlier parties and certainly not willing to trust that the grapes hadn’t been tampered with.

Daddy didn’t care about that, though, because why would he? He just leaned forward and picked up the bowl, Dean clinging to him to not fall off his lap.

“See what you do to people, Dean?” Daddy rasped and wound the golden chain around his hand as he leaned back, putting the bowl of grapes in Dean’s hands. “Everyone loves you.”

“But I love only Daddy,” Dean answered dutifully but with a little singsong voice, enough to indicate to everyone around him that he absolutely _adored_ the older man and was _so goddamn content_ to be here right now.

Daddy picked up one of the grapes, green and seedless and fucking glistening in the dim light. “Yes you do,” he groaned, pressing the grape to Dean’s lips. “You’re _my_ little slut.”

And okay, so, Dean knew a lot of ways to be seductive by now. How to lick his lips, how to lick and suck Daddy’s fingers, how to eat most things in a seductive way. But grapes were just… just _grapes_. Small and round and it popped into Dean’s mouth too fast for him to be sexy about it. He just felt ridiculous. But he chewed and swallowed fast enough for Daddy not to get disappointed yet, he had to be more careful with the next one, Dean thought. Savor it or maybe lick Daddy’s fingers in the process. Moan like a bitch in heat, maybe?

Daddy helped facilitate that by popping the next one in using his thumb. Dean caught the man’s wrist in a delicate grip and sucked a little longer on the offered digit, ignoring the taste of Daddy’s skin, now without the dip to mask it.

He moaned around the thumb and heard that unnamed man groan deeply.

“You jerk off in the bathroom, not here Bart,” Daddy said, his voice silky smooth but Dean knew that Daddy was the most dangerous when his tone was like this. Apparently the other man—Bart—knew as well because he just nodded and leaned forward a bit.

“I know, Al, I know.”

So he _did_ know? Dean mused about that for a while, chewing slowly on his grape and allowing Daddy to rub a new one against his lips before he parted them. If this Bart knew about Daddy’s rules then he must have been here before at another party, maybe Dean just didn’t remember him. He usually took care not to get too drunk but there were often a lot of people and Daddy only introduced Dean to the ones he thought were the most deserving of Dean’s visage. Dean just hoped that was the case and not that Daddy went around talking about Dean and the rules outside of this mansion, although he wouldn’t put that past the man. Daddy liked to brag, after all.

Dean was on his sixth grape, steadfastly ignoring Daddy’s increasingly hard dick and resigning himself to an evening of awkward humping and bad ass prepping when he caught sight of that newcomer across the room.

Mr. Novak was standing by himself, half shrouded in shadows and clutching an empty whisky tumbler. His gaze was laser focused on Dean and Dean felt a jolt go through him at the almost dangerous look in the man’s eyes. Because it wasn’t dangerous as in scary, it was… _intriguing,_ for the lack of a better word.

He was staring at Dean as if he was either angry that Dean was being fed or as if the act simply made him want to devour Dean. And that second option was something Dean was highly used to and didn’t care much about. The first option however, was strangely pleasing.

Pleasing enough that Dean felt bold enough to stare straight at the man as Daddy raised yet another grape to Dean’s mouth. He wrapped his lips around both the grape and Daddy’s fingers, moaning as he licked the offered treat into his mouth.

“Fuck yeah,” Bart grunted and Dean felt Daddy breathe out harshly against his cheek.

But their reactions were not interesting in the least. What _was_ interesting however, was that Mr. Novak apparently had noticed him staring and now that their eyes met while Dean was busy licking Daddy’s fingers, Mr. Novak looked adorably flustered. Well, that was certainly new for Dean.

Mr. Novak had to be somewhere around 8-12 years older than Dean and he was certainly influential if he had managed to get a job at the Sandover HQ _and_ get invited to one of Daddy’s parties, but in this moment Dean felt more powerful.

Because Dean was for looking at, never to touch, all of Daddy’s guests knew this and it was something that made Dean feel safe and that ensured that he gave no one but Daddy his interest but now… seeing Mr. Novak so easily flustered made Dean curious about how far he could take this. Sure, he had Bart’s attention, the man was almost panting like a fucking dog, but Mr. Novak was so subtle about it. Almost as if he didn’t want to impose on Dean rather than because of Daddy’s rules, which Dean was sure was untrue but still. Daddy’s rules said Mr. Novak was free to look and yet there he was, hiding in the shadows as if his attraction was a source of shame.

Dean liked that. Because, well, fuck them all, right? All the rich perverts that came here, drinking Daddy’s whine and eating his food, gawking at Dean only to go home and dry-hump their uninterested wives, thinking about Dean’s supple body. Fuck them all.

He chewed and swallowed deeply, opening his mouth wide so that Mr. Novak could see that he had been a good boy and swallowed it all, like he usually did. Mr. Novak’s hand trembled and his eyes shone but other than that he was a master at the poker face and Dean loved it.

He looked at Mr. Novak with hooded eyes as Daddy fed him another grape, sucking on the man’s thumb again and ignoring Daddy’s harsh breaths as he felt arousal shoot through him when Mr. Novak met his gaze head on. It caught him by surprise but it wasn’t unpleasant. Mr. Novak was an objectively handsome man and Dean knew he was a sexual creature, much more than what Daddy got to experience, so he wasn’t overly surprised, just enough to make the experience of eyefucking while eating grapes more pleasurable. The only thing he regretted was the angle because from here he couldn’t see if Mr. Novak was truly as aroused as he looked.

He shifted just to see if he could maybe get a glimpse, craning his neck a little and the motion made Mr. Novak straighten his back, almost as if he knew what Dean wanted. He grinned at the man but was robbed of seeing Mr. Novak’s answering expression when Daddy grabbed him harshly and bit down on his neck.

“Such a little tease tonight, aren’t you?” he growled and Dean shivered, knowing full well what would come in the wake of such a growl. “Go up and wait for your daddy, _naked_.”

Dean keened lowly and squirmed in Daddy’s lap, making sure to grind on the man’s rock hard dick. He was unsure if Daddy or perhaps this Bart had seen him toying with Mr. Novak and while it had been a fun pastime Dean didn’t fancy catching Daddy’s wrath. Daddy could be terribly jealous, after all.

“Wanna wear the choker,” he moaned sweetly and heard Bart let out a punched-out sound while Daddy just grinned at him. There was nothing in the older man’s eyes that told Dean he was in trouble so he felt mostly relieved when Daddy yanked him into a rough kiss.

“Such a sexy slut for me,” Daddy growled, hand clamped down on Dean’s neck as he groped Dean’s ass with the other. “Anything you want, baby boy.”

No, not anything, Dean thought as he weaved his way through the room, making sure to walk past Mr. Novak in the process. A roof over his head and his college tuition paid in full, yes, but hardly _anything_ he wanted.

Mr. Novak was still staring at him when Dean turned his head just as he exited the room. This time the man didn’t look embarrassed to get caught and Dean pondered the change later that night when the party was over and Daddy was lying beside Dean, fucked out and snoring loudly.


	2. Softer than some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings for Dean's insecurities and self-deprecation, and Alastair being a nasty ass bitch  
> Love you lots! <333

Dean winced as he walked down the stairs. Daddy had been brutal last night, fucking Dean until late and Dean just knew his studies would suffer now. He didn’t have classes today but he had a shit-ton of assignments, aside from his exam studies and he didn’t have time for Daddy’s bullshit but here he was, back and ass hurting with every step.

Sometimes Dean thought it would be easier to just get a part time job and move out but he knew, deep down, that just one job wouldn’t be enough to pay his expenses and he was lucky to have Daddy. Just wished this arrangement didn’t have to involve wrecking Dean’s ass so much…

Dean hated it when Daddy got so excited that he barely managed the prep. Oh sure, he’d been there with his hard fingers, poking around, but Dean hadn’t had time to relax and he knew his hole had torn a bit. Not enough to be dangerous but enough that he had gotten blood on the tissue he used to wipe off the lube and Daddy’s come. He’d been scared the first time that happened but he was used to it now, it wasn’t like it was a big deal. He just put on some crème and it healed within a day. That he wished Daddy was both gentler and more prone to aftercare was a whole other matter.

He heard noises from the kitchen now and steered his way there, fake smile already plastered on his face for good measure. Today was technically Daddy’s day off and the weather was beautiful, if Dean was unlucky enough Daddy would want to go somewhere and Dean needed to nip that in the bud.

As he turned the corner into the kitchen he bumped into someone and he immediately turned into the body when he felt a steadying hand on his elbow.

He looked up with a seductive smile but the words “Hi Daddy” caught in his throat when he saw that it most definitely wasn’t Daddy that had caught him. Instead it was that handsome man from Daddy’s party a few weeks ago, the one with the intense stare and strange name.

“Careful there,” the man mumbled, a small smile on his lips. Castiel Novak, that was his name.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Novak,” Dean laughed airily and rounded the man, elbow easily slipping from the man’s loose grip. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

Mr. Novak’s gaze was a strange mix of curious and smoldering and Dean was a bit taken aback by the former. He’d thought Mr. Novak was just another weirdo who wanted to bang him but what did the man actually see when he looked at Dean?

“You can call me Castiel,” he said and by the tone in his voice it sounded as if that would please him immensely. Actually Dean felt strangely flattered by the offer but Daddy had entered the kitchen just as Castiel spoke and he was looking at the two of them with calculating eyes Dean was all too familiar with.

“Thank you, Mr. Novak,” Dean answered sweetly, not missing the disappointment on Castiel’s face even as he turned and walked over to Daddy. “Good morning, Daddy,” he all but purred and snaked his arms around the older man’s neck.

“It’s noon, baby,” Daddy chuckled, hugging Dean closer and kissing his neck as if they were alone. “You slept in today.”

“Only because Daddy took such good care of me last night,” Dean murmured with hooded eyes, relieved that Daddy’s mood was good enough for Dean to relax.

“Damn right I did,” Daddy snorted with a grin, slapping Dean on his right butt cheek in a way he probably thought was playful but that in reality was pretty hard. “But now it’s time for business, isn’t that right Castiel?”

Dean busied himself with making himself some sandwiches while Daddy and Castiel spoke of legal problems involved with Sandover’s latest acquisition. While Dean wasn’t stupid he was no law wiz but he had always thought that maybe Daddy didn’t do things the way it should be handled. Listening to Castiel’s sometimes stiff tone suggested the same but Dean didn’t bother even worrying about it. It wasn’t his place to begin with and even less so in this context, where he was only a fuckhole for Daddy to use as he pleased.

“Oh good, you’re making lunch for us,” Daddy suddenly said, coming up behind Dean to rub against him, kind of obscenely considering they weren’t alone.

Dean looked down at the turkey sandwiches he had thrown together with the last of the bread and felt his stomach knot itself in hunger. He pressed his lips together and ignored the fact that Castiel had moved so that he could see both the sandwiches and Dean’s face.

“I hope turkey is fine?”

“I guess it’ll have to do, or what do you say, Castiel?”

“It’s perfectly fine, I have no preferences either way.”

Dean looked up at the man, brow creased while he reflected on Castiel’s answer. What a weird way to phrase it, especially considering there was no other option to prefer. Castiel met his eyes head on and it kind of felt as if he was trying to say something but Dean was clearly too dense.

“Make some ice tea too,” Daddy stated then and brought Dean’s attention back to him. “I think we’ll have it out by the pool.”

A chill went down Dean’s spine. Not because of discomfort but because he could see where this was headed and he did _not_ want to.

“Sure.”

“Why don’t you go take a swim?” Daddy grinned lecherously and Dean wanted to scream in frustration and maybe slam his head against the wall.

 _Of course_ Daddy had seen Castiel’s poorly hidden interest from early and _of course_ he wanted to brag with what he had and what, consequently, Castiel could never have. Daddy loved to show off Dean and even more so when he knew the audience wanted a piece of the forbidden fruit. And usually Dean was fine with it. Well, he wasn’t disgusted by it at least. Just mildly annoyed and sometimes embarrassed because it wasn’t like he thought he was _that_ special, no matter how many times both Jo and Benny told him people thought he was beautiful and smart.

So yeah, that was usually fine and Dean had taken a swim fake-nonchalantly enough times to not care all that much except that he needed to fucking study today. He had already missed too much last night and he was behind. He was fucking doing this — putting up with Alastair — just so he could keep studying, moments like this defeated the purpose and Dean thought that Daddy knew. He had been starting to suspect the older man was trying to slowly nudge Dean to quit studying and become a full-time sugar baby but hell if Dean wanted that.

And all _that_ aside, Dean didn’t want to go in the pool now that his hole was still smarting. It felt unsanitary and his skin crawled just thinking about it.

But of course, what did his opinion matter? Nothing, if he was hoping to keep his place at the university. So all he did was allow himself two seconds to feel the weight of the world and then he turned to Daddy with a fake smile.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea!” he exclaimed with obviously strained cheerfulness but it wasn’t like Daddy had ever been able to tell Dean’s fake tone from his real one so it didn’t matter as long as he smiled widely enough.

“I know,” Daddy stated in his raspy voice, his tone sharp and serving to make Dean hyper aware of him.

When Dean turned to the fridge to get what he needed for the ice tea he caught sight of Castiel. The man was still standing to the side, eyes focused on Dean’s face as if he could read his soul if he stared hard enough. Dean almost snapped at him to lay off it but managed to hold off in the last second, knowing Daddy wouldn’t be happy with him. And sure, Daddy wasn’t physically abusive when he got angry but his anger was cold and distant and made Dean fear for his sanity and financial funding and somehow that was worse.

“Actually,” Castiel started just as Dean had put away the ingredients for the sandwiches. “It’s very hot outside today and I don’t do well with heat, do you think we could stay inside?”

Dean’s heart skipped a beat, not because he was overcome with some kind of sentimental bullshit or something like that, but because he thought Daddy would object. Castiel was probably skating on thin ice but either Daddy liked him well enough already or he was somehow invaluable to whatever Daddy was working on because Daddy just smiled a dry smile and inclined his head.

“Of course,” fuck his voice was raspy now. Yeah, Daddy was clearly not amused but Castiel would pass for now. “We can sit in the den. Dean you can bring the food when you’ve prepared it.”

He walked off with that and Dean almost wanted to fist pump but knew that would both look lame as fuck and that it would give Castiel the wrong impression. Still, he couldn’t help but feel as if he had been saved because even though Daddy was sure to want Dean to join them anyway Dean could do his studies in the den. There was a big pelt in front of the fireplace like some kind of horribly cliché mountain cottage in the middle of Daddy’s otherwise gaudy mansion and that was Dean’s usual place in the den. He had been confused by the set-up when he first came to live with Daddy but had quickly discovered that everything was just another way to show off Daddy’s latest conquest.

Hell, Dean didn’t fucking care anymore. Lounging around on the pelt usually ended up hurting his back, if he was down on the floor for too long, but at least he could bring his books and Daddy never objected that. The point was after all that he and his guests would be able to look at his beautiful boy and they could do that just as well with Dean reading as not.

He smiled to himself when he thought about it but startled when he noticed that Castiel hadn’t immediately followed Daddy’s retreat. He looked up to meet the older man’s eyes and Castiel opened his mouth as if he was about to say something. He didn’t, though, but Dean could feel the unspoken truth anyway and fucking hell, he wanted to both thank the man and ask him how he had known Dean didn’t want to go into the pool.

Was he that obvious? Fuck he needed to control himself better or Daddy would catch on because if there was one thing Daddy wasn’t it was stupid. Self-absorbed enough to not know or care about Dean’s mood or needs, yes, but not stupid.

The moment passed, though, and Castiel just inclined his head a little before taking his leave as well, following Daddy silently and Dean felt his chest constrict for a second. It had been such a small thing for the man to do and yet somehow it felt like the biggest fucking deal to Dean for a moment there, perhaps even more so because neither of them addressed it.

*****

“How’d you do, how’d you do?”

Dean grinned from ear to ear, shoving his exam paper under Jo’s nose. She grabbed it and read over it just as Benny joined them, his own exam in his hand as he shouldered his backpack.

“Aced it.”

Jo squealed like a fucking high school girl at a football game and Dean kind of loved it. She jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly and Dean couldn’t help but lift her and twirl around. He was just so goddamn elated. This first quarter had been hell study-wise but he was so happy all his hard work had paid off.

“I knew it,” Jo said excitedly and Dean accepted his exam paper back. “You’ve been studying so hard. How about you, Benny?”

Benny was smiling widely, clearly enjoying Jo’s infectious good mood. “I’m nowhere near Dean’s level but I did alright.”

Dean always felt uncomfortable when his friends praised him like this. Shit, if he was so smart he would’ve gotten that scholarship, wouldn’t he? But still, he was happy right now and decided to just bask in it for a while.

“We should go out and celebrate,” Jo exclaimed then and inadvertently pulled Dean out of his happy bubble.

Daddy didn’t exactly keep track on Dean — that Dean knew of — but he was aware that the older man was displeased every time Dean prioritized his friends over him. And a displeased Daddy was more than enough to put a damper on Dean’s whole week.

“Sorry but I gotta go,” he smiled crookedly when Jo made a dissatisfied sound. “Got some more people to brag to about this,” he said as if that was something that would prevent him from joining his friends for at least some coffee.

“Oh yeah,” Benny said, his grin very knowing for someone who didn’t know jack shit. “Your secret boyfriend.”

“He’s not secret,” Dean laughed but fuck, his insides churned. “He’s just private.”

Jo looked very disappointed but she shook it off quickly enough that Dean allowed himself to pretend he hadn’t seen it.

“Next time.”

“Of course,” Dean lied and hugged her with one arm before breaking free from his friends and going out to the parking lot.

He didn’t speed home per se, too aware of how much this Mercedes had cost Daddy, but he was quick on the gas. It wasn’t Dean’s kind of car at all but when your sugar daddy buys you a Mercedes for your one-year-anniversary you don’t really say no, do you? Dean kind of hated the car for what it represented but that was no one’s business but his.

By the time he had parked in the big garage adjoining Daddy’s house Dean had worked himself into a good mood again. Why shouldn’t he feel happy about his accomplishments? Sure, he didn’t think he deserved all the praise Jo usually gave him but he _had_ managed an incredibly difficult exam in Control Engineering, even though Daddy took it upon himself to waste almost all of Dean’s waking hours with meaningless sex.

And hey, he might not have a loving boyfriend but he did have a sugar daddy who paid for his studies so why shouldn’t he want to hear his money was well spent? Dean walked into the house with his exam in hand and a genuine smile on his lips.

“Daddy?” he called, shucking off his jacket and leaving his bag by the stairs. “You home?”

“In the den.”

Dean’s smile grew and he practically skipped over to the den. So he kinda liked domesticated moments like this, fucking sue him.

“I got something to show yo—” Dean stopped abruptly when he walked into the den and saw that Daddy wasn’t alone.

Castiel was sitting on one of the armchairs and he rose when Dean came into the room, as if this was some kind of 19th century setting and the lady of the house had just walked in. Dean wanted to snap at him to sit down but of course didn’t. In fact, he was so surprised to see the man — especially considering he hadn’t seen any other car than Daddy’s — that he said nothing for several seconds, like a complete moron.

“Good evening, Dean.”

Fuck Dean was wary of the man, or rather, his presence. Since that day when Castiel had saved Dean from having to take a swim in the pool, Castiel had been to visit on two other separate occasions and there was just something about the man that made Dean so fucking _aware_ of him. He was clearly looking at Dean with hungry eyes, which was usually something Dean hated, though he was used to it. But at the same time Castiel’s advances, if they could even be called that, were incredibly soft. There was really nothing to it, except Dean always felt as if he was so close. Even when he was standing on the opposite side of the room he was still _close_ and it made Dean on edge.

“Mr. Novak,” Dean mumbled, his only defense against this _closeness_ was not using the man’s first name. And he could see on Castiel’s face that he knew that too. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company, Daddy.”

“That’s fine, baby,” Daddy waved him closer and Dean walked on the outside of Daddy’s armchair so that there was as much distance between him and Castiel as possible. Castiel sat down again without another word. “What did you want to show me?”

Dean felt stupid again. Young and naked and stupid.

He held out his exam for Daddy to see and didn’t even have to fake ducking his head in embarrassment.

“I passed my Control Engineering exam.”

Daddy took the exam, flipped through it too fast to have read a single word, and then tossed it to the coffee table between his and Castiel’s armchair.

“Good job,” he grunted in a disinterested tone.

Dean felt a flush of anger. This was what the older man’s money went to, wasn’t he even the least bit interested?

“It was really hard,” he mumbled and hated himself for it because he had wanted to sneer and shout.

Daddy grinned and it wasn’t a nice grin, it was the kind that made Dean shrink back. In the corner of his eye he saw Castiel picking up the exam but he barely took notice of it when Daddy spoke next.

“So what did you bribe your professor with?”

“What?”

“Oh come on, Dean,” Daddy snorted and got to his feet, standing in front of Dean. He cupped Dean’s face but the touch was hard and made Dean wince despite himself. “You said it yourself; this is a difficult subject, both you and me know you would’ve needed some help and I’ve seen the way he looks at you, filthy old man. Because it was that shaggy looking one, wasn’t it? Anyone else you probably would have to bribe with money and I know that didn’t happen so it was him, right?”

Dean felt gut punched. The memory of Professor Cain’s proud smile diminished in the face of Alastair’s sharp tone. “I didn’t have to bribe him,” he rasped. The older man stared hard at him and Dean forced himself not to blink.

The moment passed, probably quicker than it felt, and then Daddy was smiling widely at him.

“Well then, this calls for a celebration. Cuban, Castiel?” Daddy let go of Dean to turn to his guest but Castiel just waved him off.

“None for me, thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” Daddy snorted, less malice in his tone than a minute ago, and then he walked out to the den, no doubt to his office where he kept his cigars.

Dean felt a bit shaken and his eyes refused to focus on anything for a moment before he had gathered himself. When he eventually looked up he noticed Castiel staring straight at him. Well fuck, he’d really fucked up now, hadn’t he?

“This is really advanced stuff,” Castiel surprised him by saying. Dean could only blink for a moment while Castiel flipped through the exam.

“Not…” Dean cleared his throat when he heard how thick his voice was. “Not really… I mean, I passed so it can’t be that hard, can it?” he forced himself to laugh but it came out as a shamed little gargle and he immediately regretted it.

Castiel was quiet for a moment and then he rose to his feet and came to stand in front of Dean just like Daddy had. Unlike Daddy, Castiel didn’t try to touch Dean.

“I consider myself a highly educated and intelligent man, Dean,” he said somberly and Dean couldn’t help but hug himself. “But I understand basically nothing about this,” he indicated the exam and Dean stared at it, feeling his ears grow warm.

“That’s not true,” he mumbled and Castiel smiled kindly. It looked good on him and Dean wondered why he didn’t smile more often.

“No I suppose it’s not,” he held up the exam, flipping it open to the first page. “I understand that ‘the study of mathematical modeling of the dynamic behavior of systems and designing them, usually using feedback signals, so that their dynamic behavior is desirable’ means that this involves using Math to calculate how something moves and how that can be used and controlled,” he looked at Dean with a new smile, this one more teasing and Dean’s chest felt warm at seeing it. “But I would hardly say that I know what _that_ means.”

“It, um, it applies to the dynamic behavior of aircraft, spacecraft, propulsion systems, and, um, subsystems that exist on aerospace vehicles,” Dean shrugged. “Stuff like that.”

Castiel stepped closer and took Dean’s hand in his, taking care to place the exam back in his hand and squeezing it a little.

“You’re very intelligent, Dean. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

Dean ducked his head, a smile of his own tugging at his lips. “Nah…”

Castiel squeezed his hand a little harder and Dean looked up, anticipating the man to say something more but the moment was broken by Daddy entering the room and Dean sprang back with such speed that the momentum carried him all the way to his room where he flopped down on the bed, too fucking stunned to even remember to call Sammy about the exam. Fucking Castiel Novak.

*****

Dean had always been partial to differential equations. Most of his classmates saw the subject as a means to an end, something to get through to get to the really good parts. As a way to represent physical quantities, basically.

Dean saw all that too, sure, but he also saw it as fun riddles that he could solve and use to solve other, even more complex riddles. Bobby always said that was why Dean was so good at Math and maybe he was right, Dean didn’t really know. All he knew was that Bobby had a hard time doing his taxes and that Dean was always the one to help Sammy with his homework.

And perhaps that was another reason for him to like the Math he was doing now, because even though the level was _incredibly_ higher, it reminded him of home. Of lazy Sundays spent in Bobby’s small kitchen, bent over books as he and Sammy worked on the Math problems together while Bobby cooked them dinner.

Math, in a way, had become an escape for Dean. Too bad it seldom was enough to help him escape Daddy’s grabby hands.

“Put down the pencil, baby boy,” Daddy murmured against the back of Dean’s neck, hands coming around to hug Dean against Daddy’s chest.

Dean wobbled on the bar stool he was sitting on. Inwardly, he groaned and hated the fact that this mansion had six rooms, not including the living room or dining room, and _none_ of those were set aside for Dean’s needs. No, when he was doing his homework he was usually forced to sit either in the den, the living room, or at the dining room table or the kitchen island. Because all of those were common areas and areas where Daddy could walk in on him anytime to request Dean’s attention. It also irked him that Daddy had a home office _and_ a study but that Dean was expected to use neither, unless Daddy had some special guests over that he didn’t want Dean involved with. And _that_ almost never happened.

Not for the first time, Dean considered locking himself in the bathroom to have some alone time to study but knowing Daddy, the old man would probably end that by disabling all bathroom door locks and Dean didn’t fancy having to take a dump with the door unlocked.

He plastered on his best grin and spun around on the bar stool, snaking his arms around Daddy’s neck and pulling him into a sweet kiss.

“Welcome home,” he chimed and Daddy smirked, pulling Dean from the stool and hugging him closer.

“Did you miss me, darling?”

“So much,” Dean moaned lowly and rubbed his pelvis against Daddy’s.

God, if Dean could just go _one fucking day_ without having to have some kind of sex he might even be speaking the truth right now. Because while Daddy wasn’t a considerate lover he wasn’t all bad. Sure, he didn’t concern himself very much with Dean’s pleasure or orgasms other than how it made the older man feel when Dean came around his hard cock, but at least most of their sex was fine, if sometimes painful and sometimes mediocre. Hell, Dean would probably even come once in a while, _if_ they didn’t do it so fucking often.

Maybe with a better lover Dean would want it all day, every day. Dean reflected silently on it while Daddy macked on his neck. A good-looking lover with intense eyes and soft hands, who touched Dean as if he mattered and whose kisses made Dean weak in the knees. Yeah, that would be something, wouldn’t it?

“Get on your knees and suck Daddy’s cock.”

Dean hated doing it in the kitchen for precisely two reasons. One being that it was unsanitary as fuck and two was that the floor was tiled, meaning it was hell on his knees. But Daddy wanted his baby boy to suck his dick and whatever, Dean could deal.

He slunk to the floor in a practiced move, taking care to arch his back so that his ass was on display just the way Daddy liked it. Daddy made short work of his pants, licking his lips as he eyed Dean’s ass and fucking hell, Dean hoped to high heaven that the old man was just interested in a quick blow job.

Daddy was already hard and Dean moaned again when he pulled his cock out, more for show, sure, but it wasn’t like Daddy cared. Sometimes Dean even wondered if the man could hear the difference between Dean’s fake moans and his actual pleasurable moans. Probably not and why the fuck would it matter anyway? As long as Dean did his job right and worshipped Daddy every chance he got they were all good.

Perhaps that was what Dean liked with this arrangement, he thought as Daddy fed Dean his hard cock. Neither man were under some kind of delusion about this relationship. Sure, Daddy was under the impression that Dean maybe adored him more than he actually did but in exchange Dean was pretty sure he was fooling himself with thinking Daddy cared more than he did. No, this was purely a fuckbuddy relationship where Alastair basically paid Dean to worship him and it worked for them. Dean didn’t need someone to fuss over him or praise him outside the bedroom, he needed the money Daddy was giving him, plain and simple.

“Yeah, you like sucking Daddy’s cock, don’t you?” well, perhaps Dean could do without the dirty talk. “Fuck yeah, you’re fucking made for this, Dean. Made for my cock, this is where you shine, you little cocksucker. Ah, _fuck._ ”

Dean closed his eyes and let the older man grab his face so he could fuck it. Dean had learnt how to deepthroat the hard way and it was still difficult to relax his muscles the right way when he wasn’t the one controlling it.

“You love it down there, on your knees for me.”

Dean wanted to sigh. Hell, it wasn’t like he was averse to dirty talk but Daddy’s was kind of... unseemly? Well, Dean felt like a fucking chick for thinking like that but hell, he was _more_ than just a cocksucker. Sure, he liked to suck dick, could actually derive pleasure from it as past experiences had shown him, but that had been with appreciative partners. Partners that either turned into a puddle of desire or that praised his skill, told him how good he was making them feel and how pretty he looked. Not someone who only took and told him he was made for this and only this. The difference was subtle but it was there.

Dean never got hard sucking Daddy off and Daddy didn’t care. He just fucked Dean’s face until either he came down Dean’s throat or on his face, or he got bored of it and bent Dean over the nearest flat surface to fuck him instead. And hell, it wasn’t like he cared if Dean got hard then either. Sometimes Dean did because prostate stimulation was a thing and sometimes Dean thought Daddy was deliberately missing Dean’s prostate just to be an ass. It was probably a game for the older man but fuck if Dean was going to ask.

Daddy grunted and grabbed Dean’s hair painfully when he came but at least he did it in Dean’s mouth and even though Dean didn’t like the taste of the man he preferred it to facials simply because it was less messy.

“Fuck I needed that,” Daddy rasped and he grinded his pelvis against Dean’s face for a moment, holding the back of his head to prevent him from pulling back.

Dean looked up at the man, feeling annoyed at the way Daddy sought to control Dean’s breathing by blocking most of his airways. He schooled his features fast enough, though, making sure to look appropriately blissed out as if this had been the height of his week.

He opened his mouth obediently when Daddy pulled out, making sure to lick his lips and showing off how well he’d swallowed and Daddy looked at him with a glint in his eyes.

“Good job, baby boy.”

Dean wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when Daddy tucked in his cock and walked over to the fridge. Dean didn’t know why his legs were fucking shaking when he stood up but they were and he had to lean on the kitchen island. Daddy smirked at him around the beer he had gotten from the fridge. Probably thought Dean was shaking because of sexual frustration or some shit like that. Yeah, Dean was probably getting rammed tonight and if that was happening then he wanted something in return. Like peace of mind.

“Daddy?” the older man just grunted in answer, his fleeting interest directed at his phone now. Dean sat down with a barely repressed sigh. “Some of my friends from college were thinking about going out tonight and having something to eat. Celebrate that the midterms are over.”

“You had your exam last week.”

Forget the fact that that piece of information was irrelevant to what Dean was saying, he actually felt _touched_ that Daddy remembered. Man, Dean was really starved for human contact…

“Yeah but Jo’s ended today and she wanted to have sushi.”

“I hate sushi.”

Dean swallowed, having a really hard time trying to not scream at the man. When they weren’t fucking or Daddy had someone else around to talk business to the man was a fucking idiot when it came to conversations.

“I know,” Dean mumbled, looking at the man through his lashes and trying his best to look cute. “But do you think it would be okay for me to go anyway?”

There was a beat of silence and then Daddy smiled. And it should be good, shouldn’t it? Smiling was a good thing. Except Daddy only smiled when he was high or managed to scam a client out of money or whatever the fuck he did at his job because lawyering was hardly all.

“Of course, you should enjoy yourself.”

Dean almost wanted to take it back but hell, he hadn’t been out of the house for a really fucking long time and he wanted to celebrate with his friends. And it wasn’t like they had established some kind of boundaries except the point where Dean was Daddy’s to fuck and _only_ Daddy’s.

Dean smiled sincerely. “Thank you, Daddy.”

And it wasn’t like it was the first time he went out with his friends, even though that happened less often than he wanted it to. Not because of anything Daddy said or did but because of the whole atmosphere at home before and after Dean’s little outings. This time Dean felt it mostly in the way Daddy fucked him when he returned later that night.

Hard and raw and owning enough for Dean to still feel it several days later.


	3. That fine line we walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I expect y'all to read this keeping in mind that I have no knowledge above basic high school math and certainly not of differential equations lmao  
> Please just enjoy Dean and Cas having a sweet moment! XD

Dean fucking loved times like these. No classes for two whole days and Daddy had had an early morning at work so he hadn’t bothered to fuck Dean last night. Had just made Dean get on his knees to suck him off in the den and then either drank himself to sleep in his armchair or stayed up all night. Either way Dean had spent the whole night in blissful solitude and had woken up well rested for once.

He’d found a note on the coffee maker, stating that Daddy would be home at two for a business meeting and while Dean often wondered why the fuck Daddy had some of his meetings in private he never argued that fact and knew well enough by now to understand that a note like this meant that Daddy expected Dean to be at his beck and call, whether it meant entertaining the guest or keeping out of sight.

But it was fine, Dean had the whole morning to himself and he spent it in the living room, studying the assignment his professor had given him in the differential equations class. It was so fucking interesting that Dean would have missed lunch if it hadn’t been for his stomach reminding him.

He had a quick meal consisting of sandwiches and some chips and was back to studying in no time, by now having spread out over the whole coffee table and parts of the otherwise rather big couch. At precisely five minutes to one the doorbell rang and Dean was both so unaccustomed to having company over when he was alone and so into his studies that he at first barely registered it as his doorbell. But it rang again and he looked up, eyebrows raised in his surprise.

It was kind of unheard of, that someone would come over while Daddy wasn’t home. No one Dean knew even knew where he lived so it definitely wasn’t for him. With Dean’s luck it was a stupid door salesman. He supposed he could just pretend he wasn’t home.

“On the other hand,” he mumbled and got to his feet. It could be girl scouts selling cookies and while Dean wasn’t big on sweets Daddy sure as fuck was and Dean was always keen on any way that could get him on Daddy’s good side that didn’t involve sex.

He hurried to the door, stopping momentarily by the drawer where Daddy put pocket money for Dean — meaning 20 and 50 dollar bills, enough for Bobby to feed himself and Sammy for months and of course Dean had thought about sending that home but he was both sure that Bobby wouldn’t accept it and that Daddy would be mad. He pulled out 20 dollars and all but ripped the door open in his haste to catch the girl scouts before they left.

Only it wasn’t girl scouts at all, it was Castiel fucking Novak and Dean’s chin kind of dropped a little. Castiel eyed the money in Dean’s hand for a second before flooring Dean with a surprisingly intimate smile.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas–uh, I mean, Mr. Novak.”

Fucking _fuck_.

“Cas is fine, Dean,” Castiel’s smile definitely grew more pleased but no, Dean wouldn’t be swayed that easily.

“What are you doing here?” Dean ducked his head shyly, hiding halfway behind the door. “Daddy’s not home.”

Castiel looked displeased for a second and if it hadn’t been for his next words Dean would have thought it was because of Dean’s change in demeanor. But fuck, Dean couldn’t risk being himself just because Daddy wasn’t home, he didn’t know Castiel well enough to be comfortable enough for that. Plus Daddy had been a little overbearing the past week, ever since Dean went out with Benny and Jo, and for all Dean knew Castiel could have been sent here to check up on him. Daddy had never done that before, to Dean’s knowledge, but he supposed there was a first for everything.

“He’s not? But I was expected at one o’clock for a discussion about the Dower case.”

Dean didn’t know anything about any case but he supposed that was what Daddy had referenced in his note.

“Oh, Daddy told me he had a colleague coming over at two. Maybe that’s you?”

Castiel frowned and Dean couldn’t help but study the man’s lips as Castiel pulled out his phone and started going through what looked like his mail. The man had very plush lips, Dean thought and remembered with a surprised shiver how they had felt against the back of his hand. Castiel had fucking _kissed Dean’s hand,_ how the fuck weird wasn’t that?

“You're right,” Castiel suddenly groaned and pulled Dean from his musings. “I had the time wrong and I already sent away my Uber.”

He looked up, seeming kind of helpless for someone so obviously influential, and Dean liked seeing it. He saw enough pompous assholery from Daddy and his other friends and colleagues that seeing someone like Castiel lost like this made Dean’s heart feel soft.

“Do you want to wait inside?” he should have suggested Castiel call back the Uber driver, he couldn’t have gotten _that_ far and Castiel already had his phone out. But then, where would he go in the scant hour before his and Daddy’s meeting? The mansion was a little out of the ways so there wouldn’t be much sense in going back and forth to the city.

On the _other_ hand, Dean was an idiot and needed to take back his words. Because hell, having someone in the house while Dean was alone was a kind of unspoken no-no and Dean didn’t want to upset Daddy now when he was already on edge about something. On the other- _other_ hand, this was Daddy’s business associate so it was really Daddy’s fault.

That and Castiel looked like he had just been handed the keys to the city.

“Please, if it’s not an inconvenience.”

Well actually it kind of was, since Dean needed to study but what the hell, right?

He didn’t say that, though. Instead he just stepped back and invited Castiel in by inclining his head. Castiel walked in with a small smile but it didn’t look like a triumphant smile, as if he had conned his way into the mansion or caught Dean doing something forbidden. Rather it looked grateful and Dean kind of liked it.

“Do you want something? I can make some coffee?”

Dean almost startled when he turned back from having closed the door only to find Castiel waiting for him in the hall. Fuck the man’s eyes were soft, much softer than Dean would have thought judging from how Castiel had looked at him the first time they met. Actually, considering that it had probably been a stupid choice inviting the man in because this basically opened up a chance for the man to assault Dean.

“You don’t have to make me anything, Dean,” Castiel said with a kind smile and Dean was really an idiot, wasn’t he? Just because Castiel had looked at him with desire didn’t mean he still felt it or that he was a sicko who would rape someone. Maybe Dean had been hanging out with Daddy’s friends too much…

He smiled back and walked into the kitchen anyway, Castiel following silently. “A soda, then? I’m drinking anyway.”

“That would be nice.”

Castiel followed him out into the living room too, a quiet presence behind him and shit, Dean was so _aware_ but it didn’t feel bad. He threw an apologetic smile over his shoulder when they entered the living room and Castiel definitely saw the mess Dean had made.

“Sorry, I’ll just clean this up.”

“Oh, were you studying?” Castiel lifted one of the books from the couch, careful about not losing Dean’s place while he read the front. “Please don’t let me disturb you, I’ll be quiet.”

“Nah, I was just finishing up anyway,” Dean mumbled while he shifted his papers together, wondering silently why he was lying. Hell, he’d barely started again after his lunch break but somehow he didn’t think he would be studying much right now anyway and yet it didn’t annoy him as much as it probably should.

They sat down on each end of the couch, Castiel still politely studying the book he had in his hands. His Dr. Pepper stood unopened on the coffee table. The silence stretched on but somehow Dean wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, the longer they sat together in silence without Castiel trying anything, the more relaxed Dean got.

“What is all this?” Castiel asked after a while and Dean saw that the man’s gaze had shifted to Dean’s notes. “Hieroglyphs?”

There was a moment’s delay in Dean’s answer because he was _sure_ Castiel was making fun of his handwriting but no, judging by the man’s solemn look he was really asking.

“It’s differential equations, ordinary.”

Castiel cocked his head to the side. Dean had to stop gathering his notes and books for a moment because the man looked so adorably confused that shit, it couldn’t be real could it?

“Are there _un_ ordinary differential equations, then?”

Dean burst out laughing and it felt fucking liberating. A small part of his brain was screaming at him like, “dude, what are you doing?! He’s gonna get mad! _Daddy’s_ gonna get mad!” but mostly Dean just felt light inside and he liked it.

“No, no there are not,” he answered eventually and man, Castiel just looked like he was happy he had made Dean laugh. How about that? “There are ordinary, partial, and non-linear.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Castiel said, his tone amused, and put the book gingerly on the coffee table. He took his soda and opened it only to take a big swallow, letting out a satisfied sigh. “It’s been a long time since I had Dr. Pepper, I think I’ll stick to this and leave Math to you.”

Dean leaned back on the couch, relaxing against the soft cushions. “I take it Math wasn’t your favorite subject?”

“I _abhorred_ it,” Castiel smiled fondly. “My favorites were History and Social Studies.”

“And that somehow equated to Lawyer?”

Castiel’s smile turned a bit wistful and Dean frowned a little. “Yes, life is funny that way, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s cool, my little brother wants to be a lawyer.”

Castiel gave him a slanted look but Dean chose to ignore it, too caught up on the fact that he had readily given away the fact that he had a little brother. Shit, he needed to be more careful than this.

“But Math was your favorite subject then?” Castiel asked, smoothing over Dean’s nerves like it was nothing.

Dean leaned his head back on the couch, smiling at the memories. “Actually it was gym class. No tests in gym class.”

Castiel chuckled, a surprisingly nice sound and a far cry from Daddy’s wheezy laugh. “I suppose not. But now you must be swamped in exams, aren’t you? What exactly are you studying, except a scary amount of Math?”

Dean’s stomach felt a little fluttery for a moment. He couldn’t say why but somehow Castiel again seemed incredibly soft in Dean’s eyes. Big hot-shot lawyer was afraid of a little Math, Dean couldn’t say why but it made him a little squirmy, and not in a bad way.

“Aerospace Engineering.”

Castiel’s already expressive eyes grew in size. “That’s _very_ impressive, Dean.”

Dean rubbed himself against the couch, hiding a little against its cushions as he slid down a bit. “Nah.”

“Don’t say that,” Castiel put the soda can on the table again and turned a little more towards Dean. “Tell me more, which field of study intrigues you the most? Air, water? Space?”

“Space,” Dean answered without hesitation and couldn’t help but smile when Castiel grinned at Dean’s no doubt eager tone. “I wanna build things that can fly out there, you know?” he stretched out his legs a bit, turning so that he could look at Castiel without having to crane his neck to the side. “I don’t wanna go into space, it scares the crap out of me, but what if I could help build stuff that could take someone else out there?”

“That would be incredible,” Castiel said in a pleased tone, almost as if Dean had already accomplished it.

Dean smiled to himself, putting one hand behind his head as he got more comfortable. “I’m just so fucking interested in Mars, you know?”

“And why is that? Except the prospect of Buggalos, I mean.”

Dean felt both stumped and thrilled. Firstly, that Castiel even knew about [Buggalos](https://futurama.fandom.com/wiki/Buggalo) was insane to Dean but he kind of loved it because it had to mean that the man wasn’t above watching cartoons. And secondly, outside of the university, no one really asked Dean his opinion on anything and when the people at the university did it, it somehow didn’t feel the same. Because they were obviously already interested in the subject, otherwise they wouldn’t be there. Castiel on the other hand, he clearly didn’t understand much of it and he didn’t have the same kind of interest as a professor or student would. And yet he asked.

Maybe he was just trying to get Dean comfortable so he could win him over — maybe as a test sent from Daddy — or maybe he was just interested in Dean in general, there was really no way for Dean to know for certain. All he knew was that Castiel’s question and seemingly genuine interest in Dean’s answer made Dean insanely happy.

“Okay, hard yes on Buggalos, I want one. And hell I mean, what if there _is_ life out there? They’ve already found water on Mars, that has to mean something, right? I’m not an Astrophysicist, I don’t know jack shit about space, but I wanna help any way I can. I guess…” he went silent for a moment, stretching out his legs on the couch. “I guess I just wanna be able to look up at space and say ‘something I made is out there, helping humanity’,” he looked over at Castiel, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. “Is that dumb?”

“It’s not dumb,” Castiel answered in a low tone, voice serious. “I think it sounds wonderful. And you’re very smart Dean, I’m sure you’ll make it.”

Dean swallowed hard, feeling not only shy but a little choked up. Fuck, why couldn’t it be this easy with Alastair?

“You know, my…” he stopped, chewing his bottom lip as he looked away. He shouldn’t have said anything, it would come out sounding too much like bragging and Castiel would scoff at him like Daddy did.

There was suddenly something touching his foot and Dean almost startled when he realized it was Castiel brushing the back of his fingers against Dean’s bare foot. Fuck, he must have stretched out so long that he basically reached Castiel, taking up the whole couch like a douche. He was just about to apologize and pull away when Castiel spoke up.

“Your what, Dean?”

“My, um,” his whatnow? “My professor mentioned something about doing my grad work under him. He, uh, he said I’m doing well.”

Castiel’s whole face lit up as he beamed at Dean and holy shit, he looked really good. Dean swallowed and felt hyper aware of the fact that Castiel put his whole hand on Dean’s foot.

“That’s magnificent news, Dean. Your parents must be so proud.”

Dean tried smiling and thought he succeeded. “Yeah,” he felt Castiel lift his hand again but he didn’t pull away, instead he brushed his fingers against Dean again and the touch felt so fucking intimate for some reason. “They’re both dead.”

“I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“It’s fine,” Dean mumbled. He felt a little zing go through him when Castiel rested the heel of his hand against Dean’s foot only to start rubbing his fingers in small circles. “Dad was… I mean, it’s almost been ten years and mom was way before that. Me and Sammy got taken care of by dad’s old friend so we didn’t have to go into the system or anything.”

“I’m relieved.”

Dean smiled, more because Castiel actually sounded relieved for real as if Dean’s welfare was important to him.

“How about your parents? Impressed as fuck by their corporate lawyer son, I bet? Because they’re alive, I’m guessing?”

Castiel made a face. His fingers were much softer than Dean had thought they would be and he didn’t even know why he felt the first tendrils of arousal but he really did when Castiel’s deft fingers rubbed his tired foot, despite the current topic of conversation.

“They’re alive alright.”

Dean let out a small laugh and used the moment to stretch his foot a little. If he shifted enough he could reach Castiel’s thigh. “Why do you sound sadder about that than I do over my parents being dead?”

“Let’s just say me and my parents don’t see eye to eye.”

Dean smiled kindly. “I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as they were when they found their only son fucking his male P.E. teacher.”

Dean couldn’t help the little chuckle that bubbled up. “No way!” his laughter gained momentum when Castiel just gave him a proud look. “I guess I wasn’t the only one who liked gym class.”

“I guess not,” Castiel answered with a surprisingly pleased tone. He was still rubbing Dean’s foot lightly and Dean’s arousal wasn’t going anywhere but up.

And fuck, Dean felt so fucking _content_ for the time being. They kept talking for a long while about their childhoods, about Dean’s studies, about Castiel’s path to his current job. They compared past lovers and first awkward sexual encounters, including one hilarious anecdote from Castiel’s archive where his boyfriend had tried to suck Castiel off in a public library and managed to get them both kicked out and banned.

“And the worst part was that he didn’t even understand _why_ we got banned,” Castiel ended the story with a shake of his head and Dean couldn’t stop laughing for a while.

They’d been on this couch for a long while now and Castiel’s hand hadn’t once strayed up Dean’s leg and Dean’s arousal was simmering just under the surface, too little to get him hard but too much to be ignored. And despite all _that_ , Dean was happy just to be here and talk to Castiel. It was easy, it was comfortable, much more so than Dean had thought when he had first sat down.

Hell, Castiel was so easy to talk to that Dean had gone from apprehensive to open in two minutes flat and he wasn’t regretting it. It was honestly very freeing and he kind of loved it. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Castiel was very good looking. And hell, this was the sixth time they met and he still sported the same bed hair as always. It was like he woke up and immediately gave up on his hair and Dean felt himself growing fond over it.

And shit, they’d been here on the couch, alone, and with Castiel touching him for so long and the guy hadn’t even tried to initiate anything sexual. The tension was there, Dean was no idiot and he could feel it seeping in the longer Castiel kept his hand on Dean’s foot and maybe that was the play but Dean didn’t mind even if that was the case. He kind of loved it for the simplicity.

“The fuck did you even do to get caught?” he asked when his laughter had died down. Castiel gave him a surprisingly cheeky grin.

“Well, we—”

And then came the worst sound in the fucking world right now: the door to the garage opened and Alastair called out for his baby boy.

Dean froze, staring at Castiel with big eyes for a moment. Fucking _shit_ he had completely forgotten about everything. His shitty life with Daddy had paled in the face of what he and Castiel had shared on this couch but that faded now and _shitshitshit,_ Dean couldn’t get caught having his foot fondled by another man. Daddy was sure to kick Dean out if that happened and then it was goodbye space dreams.

As if sensing this or perhaps figuring it out for himself, Castiel lifted his hand and inclined his head as if telling Dean to leave. Dean hesitated a moment, feeling so _cold_ without the other man’s touch, but then he was up and out of the living room in the next moment, meeting his sugar daddy in the kitchen.

“Welcome home,” he chirped and went to kiss Daddy on the cheek. “Mr. Novak just came over.”

“Oh he’s already here?” Daddy muttered and in the next moment Castiel came into the kitchen as well. “Have you offered him something to drink?”

“He has but I wanted to wait for you,” Castiel answered smoothly, his tone all professional now and Dean hated it. Hated that what they had shared had been so fleeting, so easy for both of them to sweep under the carpet.

He felt guilty as fuck but didn’t even know what for.

“I’ve been studying in the living room, do you want your coffee in the den instead?”

Daddy suddenly grabbed Dean by the neck and hauled him into an owning kiss. Dean didn’t struggle and tried to fake enthusiasm when kissing the older man back but he couldn’t help but glance over at Castiel. He instantly knew he shouldn’t have because the man was staring right at them, a displeased frown on his handsome features. Dean quickly squeezed his eyes shut and let Daddy dominate him for a while.

“Make that my office and two shots of bourbon,” Daddy rasped when he finally let Dean go. “Come, Castiel, we have business to attend to.”

Dean took a moment to steady himself before he followed Daddy’s orders, his heart thumping wildly but not feeling in the mood to figure out precisely why.

*****

Dean shifted restlessly on the big bed in the master bedroom. It was the middle of the night and he was alone, Daddy having probably fallen asleep in his armchair, which happened more often than not. Dean didn’t mind that, loved it actually, but he couldn’t settle down enough to sleep anyway.

Castiel hadn’t stayed long after Daddy got home and Dean hadn’t seen him again before he left, preferring to stay away so Daddy wouldn’t get any ideas. Although judging by how hard the man had fucked Dean after dinner — and right on the dinner table — Dean was starting to assume Daddy had gotten some ideas all on his own.

Dean shifted to his back, scratching his stomach under the sheets. It had been a thorough fucking indeed but of course not enough to get Dean off. He’d never been able to come anally and Daddy wasn’t always keen on using his hand and for some reason Dean wasn’t either, when Daddy was inside him. Sometimes he did it anyway, because he just got so fucking riled up but the sad truth was that his libido definitely had been going downhill in the last couple of years.

Sure he jerked off now and then but mostly because of morning wood and in the shower. But he wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t recognize the signs of arousal and he kept thinking about what had happened on the couch with Castiel and that was probably what had led him here, alone in the bed and with a hand massaging his rapidly filling dick.

He flung the covers off him, reveling in the cool blast from the quietly humming AC unit. His nipples perked up and he fondled one of them while he brushed his fingers up and down his dick. He felt the pleasure snake slowly through him and he thought it was really the best kind. Sure, explosive arousal was nice but it was also exhausting and Dean liked to take his time when he actually did this.

He glanced at the closed bedroom door but didn’t particularly care about the chances of Daddy catching him. They were low anyway and even if he did happen to walk in right in the middle of Dean touching himself there would be no problem because Dean could just say that he had been thinking about his Daddy’s earlier touches and Daddy would only be pleased.

Daddy was narcissistic enough to love hearing Dean talk about how the man aroused him, after all.

“Not enough to get me off, though,” Dean huffed in annoyance and closed his eyes as he reached down to rub over his balls. Pleasure zinged through him then, sharper than before and he gasped a little.

Hell, judging by how Daddy touched him and treated him Dean thought the man could just as easily have gone with a woman than a man. He loved to touch Dean’s nipples, which Dean also liked so there was nothing wrong with that, he only touched Dean’s dick if he wanted Dean to tighten around him in that uncontrollable way, and he loved when Dean spoke in a softer, more demure tone. Not to mention that Daddy wanted Dean to dress in androgynous clothes and wear jewelry when they had parties.

Dean suspected that there was something about having a man submit to him that made Daddy feel powerful. Sure, Dean was a bit on the smaller side but if he had had more nutritious food growing up — or, you know, food at all — he would probably have been Sammy’s size. And all that aside, Dean was pretty sure he could take Alastair in a fight if he really put his back into it. So maybe it was the fact that Dean _chose_ to submit that got Alastair’s motor running?

Dean sighed and put two fingers in his mouth, sucking on them as he squeezed his waning erection. Yeah, thinking about his Daddy always had the opposite of sexy effects on Dean. Much the same as thinking about women in sexual ways. He’d tried it when he was younger, thinking he _should_ like women, right? It was the normal thing for a boy like him to do. But no, they were nice to look at, aesthetically, but they weren’t arousing to him.

No, what really got Dean going was imagining a handsome man touching him. Their hands were important, he thought as he started stroking himself more firmly, eager to get off now that he had started. He liked confident hands, hands that let Dean know the man knew what he was doing and that Dean could relax. Hands that could play Dean like a fine instrument and have him gasping desperately in no time.

He liked Dr. Sexy’s hands — from the TV-show _Dr. Sexy MD_ — and the man was very handsome too. Nice smile, thick hair, confident. Although sometimes he was a bit too confident and Dean wasn’t very much into that. Like Daddy, he was so confident he was arrogant and that wasn’t sexy at all. Dean liked a man who was on top of things, but who could also be humble in the face of situations he knew nothing about.

Like Castiel.

When Castiel had deferred to Dean’s knowledge about Math, willingly admitting that he was bad at it and seemingly getting impressed with Dean’s experience working with it, _that_ was hot. Because Castiel was clearly a confident man, he was probably used to leading and making decisions, a bit of a hot-shot, just like Dean had thought earlier in the day. And yet he had smiled kindly, had refused to let Dean serve him, and had laughed almost shyly when Dean teased him about the big bad Math monster.

Dean sped up his hand, sucking harder on his fingers and imagining them to be something else. Fuck yeah, he loved blowjobs, at least with the right partner. An appreciative partner who would moan for him. And maybe reciprocate? Fuck, Dean hadn’t had a good blowjob in years, hadn’t, in fact, had one single blowjob since he got together with Daddy.

He’d gotten some before and he readily recalled the memories now. The heat, the wetness, the sucking and fuck, a pretty guy’s lips wrapped around him. Dean wanted it but not with Daddy. Daddy wasn’t the least pretty and Dean didn’t want the man’s sharp teeth anywhere near his dick. But with someone with soft lips, hell yeah.

Someone like Castiel.

Castiel had _very_ pretty lips. Dean pulled out his fingers, licking them one last time before he reached down to prod at his hole. Yeah, he was still pretty sore so he left that for now, not really needing the added stimuli to get off anyway. He was perfectly fine jerking his hard dick and thinking about getting blown.

Or maybe he could get fucked like this? On his back and with the guy’s hand wrapped around his dick. Dean loved to get his dick jerked while he had a thick cock in his ass. Or maybe the guy could use a fleshlight or one of those masturbation eggs? He groaned and arched his back at the thought, immediately plopping two fingers in his mouth again to cancel out as much noise as possible. Dean loved being vocal in bed but Daddy didn’t really bring any of the good stuff out of him and he didn’t want to call attention to himself right now.

His pleasure was soaring to burning heights and he would hate to be interrupted now and forced to please his Daddy instead because hell if Alastair would take care of him first.

Dean pulled up his legs and started fucking his hand instead, mind going back to that unknown guy fucking him while pleasuring him with a fleshlight. Or maybe he could just use his hand and a generous amount of lube? Dean was so fucking down with that too. His dick was so hard and shit, he could feel his arousal burning in his lower abdomen now and he wanted to let it out and yet he wanted to stay in the fantasy.

A fantasy of a handsome man pleasuring him simply because _Dean’s_ pleasure was his own. Because the man got off on pleasuring his partner. That was a thing, right? People did that? Dean wanted it _so much._ And yeah, the guy’s hand would do nicely if it was the right kind. Strong and assertive but also capable of softness.

Like Castiel’s hands.

Dean’s toes curled when he remembered the man’s hand on his foot earlier today. That touch had been so fucking out of place for strangers like them but Dean had craved it more than he had realized in the moment. And now, alone in his and his supposed partner’s bed, Dean felt himself gasp around his own fingers, imagining they were Castiel’s.

His fingers in Dean’s mouth, his hand around Dean’s dick. Strong and confident, gentle and coaxing.

Dean moaned louder than he had meant to when he came, coating his own stomach and chest and not caring when it cooled quickly in the AC-chilled air.

“Shit,” he gasped when he finally caught his breath, feeling the dread settle in slowly. “Fucking _shit._ ”


	4. Sugar me sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember those tags about the lollipop? Yeah, it's time to have some fun!  
> I wouldn't say that this is the scene that started it all but in a lot of ways it was lol  
> Let's have fun! XD

Dean was so fucking annoyed.

“Come on, little birdie, twirl for me!”

Not only was he dolled up like some fucking golden statue, tank top and hotpants a tasteful white to really contrast with his tanned skin, that was _fucking rubbed with golden oil_ so that his skin glistened with every movement. He also had on heavy golden jewelry and that goddamn choker again, the diamonds sparkling in the light and the chain in his hand as he danced on one of the coffee tables for Daddy and all his guests to see.

Okay, so Daddy was celebrating some big win for Sandover or what-the-fuck-ever, and he did it by inviting all the elites and snorting coke while they drank scotch on the rocks and made Dean dance for them. Seductive, sultry dancing that revved everyone’s engine but that made Dean feel both stupid and exhausted all at once. He had fucking important stuff to do, okay? Projects were due and just regular upkeep studying needed to be, well, kept.

In short, Dean didn’t have time to squirm for a bunch of suits and he didn’t have the energy to pretend that he _loved_ the way Daddy fucked him.

And yet here he was, on a table, shaking his ass and pumping his hips to whatever song Daddy chose for him. And oh boy, Dean was happy the mansion’s closest neighbors were a bit away and nearly never home because this party was rowdy as hell. Everyone was high or intoxicated and _loud,_ except Dean and Cas, who were none of those things.

Dean didn’t pay Cas much attention because, well, he didn’t trust himself if he did, but the few times he had noticed the man, Cas had been staring at Dean with obvious lust and nursing the same scotch for nearly three hours now. Well, at least Dean didn’t have to feel too conscious of the man’s staring because almost everyone at the party was staring at Dean and if Dean happened to throw Cas a seductive wink then there was nothing to it because right now Dean was doling out those winks with a generosity that matched Santa Claus’ on Christmas.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” Abaddon suddenly said, her voice a sultry slur and Dean felt a hand on his ass.

“No, no,” Dean easily danced out of the way, closer to Daddy who was sitting at the end of the coffee table like a fucking king on a throne. “No touching, I only want my Daddy to touch me.”

“That’s right, baby boy. Only _my_ gloryhole,” Daddy answered, his tone pleased as all hell and he pulled Dean off the table with such force that Dean basically fell into his lap. It wasn’t comfortable but Daddy didn’t say anything about that.

Instead he just started kissing Dean and Dean had to squirm his way into Daddy’s lap to sit comfortably all on his own and without breaking the kiss. Dean wanted to sigh because no matter how uncomfortable he was shaking his ass in front of a room full of drunk people he was even more uncomfortable making out in front of them. He was just happy that Daddy was too possessive to share more of Dean than visuals, although he was dreading the day Daddy would tell him to get on his knees in front of guests.

Gratefully the kissing stopped before the man even got a boner. “So fucking sweet,” Daddy said in his raspy voice and then promptly removed Dean from his lap to get up and walk away.

Damn, he was probably really fucking high right now, Dean thought tiredly. In any case, Dean saw his out and quickly slunk away before anyone could try and engage in conversation with him. Of course the people here knew the rules about Dean being Daddy’s but judging by Abaddon’s grabby hands from earlier the lines were probably blurred for tonight and there was a _small_ chance that Daddy hadn’t just gone up to piss or pour himself some more scotch, maybe he’d gone to black out somewhere and Dean would be left defenseless. No way in hell would he get used and then perhaps thrown out for it, his tuition shot to hell, just because his sugar daddy was too out of it to defend him from his asshole friends.

Yeah, no. Dean just quickly made his way through the throngs of people, going in another direction than Daddy to minimize the chances of bumping into him. If he did, Daddy might want to have sex and Dean didn’t feel like it, not when Daddy was so drunk. He probably wouldn’t be able to get it up anyway and would get all mad and take it out on Dean. Man, Daddy could be mean when that happened…

Up on the second floor the loud bass music was reduced to a low thumping and Dean kind of liked it. He considered hiding out in the master bedroom but figured that would be the first place Daddy would look if he went to find Dean. Instead he snuck into the study, which was basically Daddy’s second home office, where he received clients more than worked.

There was a comfortable couch pushed up against a wall that Dean often used when he wanted a nap because it felt much better than sleeping in the living room, out in the open and vulnerable. He wondered idly if it was normal feeling like that and couldn’t remember ever experiencing that apprehension when he’d fallen asleep in Bobby’s living room but whatever.

He walked up to the big and gaudy desk, turning on its lonely lamp. It was the kind of lamp that was more ornamental than functional and it didn’t do much to light up the room but Dean liked that. It cast a yellow hue in a small circle that left most of the room in dim light or shadows. It felt comfortable and enough for now, especially since Dean was looking to hide for a moment. He studied the way his skin shone golden in the lamplight and sighed audibly, hoping to high heaven that the oil was easy to wash off. At least it was scentless.

Near the lamp stood a candy bowl, half-filled with bonbons and lollipops. The only childish thing in the room and it gave the whole atmosphere a gentle touch, made it more inviting somehow, even though all Daddy’s clients were adults. Everyone loved candy, right? It gave people a sense of trust to see that even scary lawyers ate sweets.

Dean regarded the candy while he plucked off his jewelry, happy to be rid of the heavy rings and earrings, but the most happy about getting out the damned choker. The chain rattled as he all but tossed it onto the desk. It landed beside the bowl of candy with a little clink but he didn’t even have it in him to care if the diamonds got chinked.

He frowned at the bowl and ended up plucking out a lollipop. It looked black in the dim light and Dean guessed it would be licorice flavored but when he’d unwrapped it and put it in his mouth his taste buds immediately exploded with Coca Cola flavor and he pulled it out, looking at it with new appreciation.

Sighing to himself again he went over to sit on the couch, just getting comfortable and enjoying his moment in solitude with the surprisingly good lollipop when the door unexpectedly opened. Dean immediately froze, thinking Daddy had found him anyway but no, that certainly wasn’t Daddy.

The man walked in, quickly shut the door, and turned to lean on it, thumping his head back and sighing loudly. Dean squinted when he recognized him.

“If you’re looking for the restroom it’s three doors down.”

Cas snapped to attention, his eyes immediately landing on Dean and Dean couldn’t help but lean back on the couch, one arm up on the back as he twirled the lollipop in his mouth with his other hand.

Cas smiled a little secretly. “I wasn’t looking for the restroom.”

“Ah,” Dean grinned, feeling as if he had found out something precious. “This party not your scene, I take it?”

Cas pushed off the door and walked closer, shaking his head. “No party is. And I can only lie so many times about the same scotch not being my first one.”

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. He patted the seat beside him and Cas sat down with a grateful sigh.

 _“Well fuck,”_ Dean thought when he realized what he had just done.

He had been avoiding Cas ever since that time they spent one hour bonding and Cas petted Dean’s foot. Well, that wasn’t wholly true… if it had just been that then maybe Dean would have just worked past it but there was the whole thing about him masturbating and coming while he was thinking about Cas’ hands too.

And every time Cas had been over for work after that Dean had found something to do that would either keep him out of the house or at least the room. He didn’t know what he thought of Cas, to be honest, and it unnerved him. He _should_ think that Cas was just another lecherous asshole who couldn’t keep staring at Dean while Dean bent to Daddy’s every whim and he should probably low-key hate him a little for the same reasons.

And then there were moments like these, where Cas just seemed so normal and such a far cry from Daddy and his usual friends. Plus, the man was really unfairly handsome.

“And you?” Cas suddenly asked and Dean realized with a start that he had been staring at Cas’ face. “Having fun?”

Dean snorted before he could stop himself. “A blast,” he chimed, trying to salvage the situation but Cas just leveled him with a flat stare and Dean was fucking tired okay? He sunk back against the couch, groaning. “I wanna go to sleep and I need to study, this party is a fucking disaster.”

There, he’d said it and it felt liberating. Since their talk on the couch in the living room Dean had kind of waited for Daddy to rant at him about it or something Dean had said but he hadn’t mentioned it so Dean was pretty certain Cas wasn’t actually Daddy’s spy. And it felt kind of awesome to talk about this with someone who was actually experiencing the parties and Daddy’s company, or who at least knew about it at all.

“I don’t know, as parties go, I'm sure it’s a raging success,” Cas gave Dean a grin that made a pleasant chill go down Dean’s spine. “Especially considering your dancing, it’s certainly been the highlight of the evening.”

Dean shifted his lollipop slowly from one side of his mouth to the other, swallowing. “I looked stupid.”

“You _really_ did not.”

Dean rolled his eyes but was glad for the poor light because he could feel his cheeks heat from the comment. “Whatever, I saw you looking, you saying you enjoyed that poor performance?”

“I wouldn’t have been looking if I hadn’t, would I?”

Dean swallowed again, the artificial taste sharp in his mouth. “Could’ve been looking because I looked weird…” he mumbled. Cas shifted closer on the couch and Dean’s body felt hot.

“I think you enthralled everyone in the room, Dean. Do you have any idea what you’re capable of doing to people?”

Dean pulled out the lollipop, sucking slowly on it as he considered Cas’ words. Daddy always said Dean was a sexy slut and Dean knew he was good at seducing _him, a_ t least. Maybe he should stop doubting himself so much? Maybe next time Daddy made him perform he should do it how he liked it and not how his old fart of a sugar daddy wanted it? Maybe that way he would actually enjoy it.

“And you?”

Cas snapped his eyes up to Dean’s and Dean only then realized the man had been staring at his mouth. Well fuck, Dean didn’t know why but a sharp arrow of want went through him when he noticed.

“I loved it,” Cas’ voice was a low rumble, a voice made for sex Dean just now realized and he slid a bit closer on the couch. Cas opened up his body by slinging his arm up on the couch’s back. Their hands touched and Dean felt his dick twitch awake.

He licked the lollipop once, pulling it out of his mouth to smile at Cas. He felt bold in the face of Cas’ obvious interest, much bolder than he had ever felt before. “Did you wanna dance with me?”

“I wanted to sit in a chair and have you dance in my lap.”

Dean swallowed hard at that confession, so forward it should be ridiculous and rude but somehow he could only feel flattered. He popped the lollipop into his mouth again, sucking on it thoughtfully. Cas’ eyes drew down to Dean’s mouth again and he turned his body more to Dean. Dean straightened out his leg so that they came to sit thigh-to-thigh. Fuck Cas was hot under his clothes.

“Do you like sweets?”

Dean blinked at the sudden change in topic and if it hadn’t been for Cas’ dark eyes he would have thought the man had lost his interest. But no, his gaze was still as lustful and Dean took his time licking around the lollipop before pulling it out of his mouth again, lips wrapped around it like they would be around the tip of a dick, an analogy that didn’t escape him when Cas’ lips parted on an exhale.

“Not really,” he smiled sweetly. “This one tastes good, though. Kinda reminds me of Dr. Pepper.”

Cas leaned in and unconsciously or not, the move felt more natural than calculated. Dean couldn’t fucking tear his eyes away, his body flushing hot when Cas turned his hand so that he could grip Dean’s wrist lightly.

“Really?”

Fuck the man’s voice was deep. A rough rumble like whisky on the rocks and fucking made to arouse Dean. Dean leaned in too, popping the lollipop into his mouth as his free hand came down to rest on Cas’ muscular thigh.

“Yeah.”

Cas moved first, fast and confidently, he grabbed Dean’s chin in a light grip and angled his head to the side as he captured Dean’s lips. Dean still had the lollipop in his mouth and it was kind of in the way but fuck if he cared right now. Cas kissed so fucking differently from Alastair that it blew Dean’s mind.

His lips were much softer than Dean was used to and his kiss was urgent and passionate, their mouths sliding together until Dean couldn’t take it anymore and had to crane his neck and open up.

Cas groaned and eagerly licked into Dean’s mouth, practically pulling the lollipop out and into his own mouth. The stick bumped their chins and Cas let go of Dean only to slide his hand back and brush his thumb against Dean’s neck. But he didn’t push or pull, just let his hand rest there and Dean felt a thrill go through him.

He willingly pressed closer and Cas answered by pulling his arm away from the backrest and putting it around Dean’s waist instead. They shifted the lollipop back to Dean and Dean swallowed hard, unable to stop the moan that bubbled up when Cas hugged him closer. He was definitely getting hard and shit, it was only from a little kissing. But Cas was so good at it, so obviously passionate in the way he licked into Dean’s mouth, eager for a taste of him or the lollipop or them combined. Dean felt a little light-headed and he couldn’t help but sling a leg over Cas’.

Cas leaned back with a rumbling groan and Dean followed, leaving him practically straddling Cas’ thigh and he fucking loved it. He put his hands on Cas’ chest, feeling the man’s warmth and rapidly beating heart and he felt Cas’ hard dick pressing against his thigh as he melted against the man.

“Does it taste good?” he moaned, pulling out of the kiss to breathe and swallow deeply.

“Delicious,” Cas answered in a thrillingly breathless voice and Dean couldn’t help but grin down at him.

Fuck the man was handsome, all flushed from arousal and completely at Dean’s mercy. Dean felt powerful in a way he never really had and when Cas tipped him down to kiss him again, Dean put one hand on the man’s cheek, pulling him closer even as Cas gripped Dean’s shirt.

They grinded together now, sweet little bucks with their hips, seeking friction like starving men but at the same time just reveling in the closeness. At some point the lollipop became more of a nuisance than something fun and Dean pulled it out, holding it away from them as he leaned heavily on Cas. This deepened the kisses and Cas fucking _growled,_ both of his hands landing on Dean’s hips and increasing their pace.

Dean was so fucking hard now, the rest of the world melted into a background noise as he filled his vision with Cas. The man’s scent, sounds, taste. All of it was ramping up Dean’s arousal and Cas was clearly approaching some kind of point of no return, if his noises were something to go on.

“Dean,” he whispered in a hoarse voice. “Oh Dean, you…”

It was when Cas moved to kiss the patch of skin just under Dean’s ear that Dean knew he had to get out of there. What the fuck was he even thinking? Two seconds away from creaming his pants from another man’s touches? Alastair was going to kill him and fucking hell, Dean wanted Cas so much in this moment but that wasn’t his life. Cas wasn’t his boyfriend and Dean wasn’t his anything, not by a long shot.

“Fuck.”

He shot off Cas’ lap as if pulled by an invisible force. Cas looked confused as shit and Dean didn’t know what to fucking say. They were both still painfully hard, Dean didn’t need to look down to see his own dick straining his hotpants and he could definitely see the hard line of Cas’ dick even in the man’s dark slacks.

Dean rubbed his hand over his mouth, trying to calm down. He had to fucking _calm down._ But Cas was sitting there with his legs spread and hands out, still apparently reeling from kissing Dean and then having that ripped away from him.

“Dean?”

“We can’t, Cas,” Dean tried to laugh as if all of this had been some kind of joke. What a fucking _joke_ , huh? “I gotta go.”

“But, Dean—”

Dean shut him up by popping the lollipop into his open mouth. “See you downstairs later, okay champ?”

Yeah, Dean turned and hightailed it the fuck out of there before Cas could say something else. His pulse was racing, heartbeat elevated because of embarrassment — who the fuck called someone over ten “champ”? — and because of arousal because fuck if that was going away.

He locked himself in the bathroom in the master bedroom, sitting down on the toilet and frantically working his pants open. He stripped his dick hard and fast, breath coming in clipped wheezes and he pulled too much paper off the roll to catch his come with.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” he chanted while he emptied into the wad of toilet paper, eyes closed and vision swimming with images of Cas’ aroused face. Fuck Dean’s life, just fucking _fuck_ it.

*****

Dean was so goddamn _apprehensive_ in the weeks to come. So fucking aware of every little thing, overanalyzing and being all-round paranoid.

Because — _fucking hell_ — because he had _kissed_ Cas, had let the man just inch closer and had called him _Cas_ , for fuck’s sake. And the man hadn’t pushed for much either, mostly Dean had just gone with the flow and the fact that Cas hadn’t come after him when Dean ran meant something, it had to. Probably the same thing as the fact that Cas hadn’t been at the party when Dean almost thirty minutes later went downstairs. Dean didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. Fuck, he probably would have made a fool of himself if he’d seen Cas so soon after.

Because holy fucking shit, that had been the hottest thing Dean had experienced in a _long_ time. Cas kissed like he truly desired Dean and not just as a fucking dick sleeve. No, in Cas’ embrace Dean had felt like a person, like someone who mattered, and that scared him because he knew he would start wanting it and he couldn’t have it.

Daddy had given him so much over the years and Dean felt so in debt to him so there was that and there was also the fact that he _still_ needed even _more_ from the man. His studies were far from over and no matter how many times he applied he was apparently not eligible for scholarships or financial aid.

Cas had been over to the house a couple of time since their little tryst and Dean didn’t know what to fucking do, especially when Daddy called him into the room. Before when he had avoided the man it had been just as a precaution but now it was because he was scared his face would give him away. Maybe he should get Cas alone and tell him they couldn’t do anything like that ever again?

On the other hand he _had_ told Cas he couldn’t do anything with him and Cas hadn’t once approached him after the party. He just acted the same as usual, not with any kind of familiarity that Dean had been afraid of _before_ or the desire that Dean was afraid of _now._ No, he was just as polite as ever and Daddy didn’t even look twice in either of their directions.

Meanwhile, Dean had been doing everything in his power to keep his Daddy happy, to the point where his studies suffered more than usual. And tonight that included spending his sleeping time awake, face down and ass up as Daddy tore into him with a vibrator so thick it was twice Dean’s own size.

“Please, Daddy,” he whimpered and didn’t even have to pretend-whimper. His ass fucking _hurt_ and he was sure the older man knew it.

“No, you can’t come yet, baby boy,” Daddy fucking _cooed_ and Dean bit down on his pillow to keep from screaming in frustration.

He wasn’t the least interested in coming, just for the fucking to stop and besides, he couldn’t come even if he had fucking needed to because Daddy had strapped Dean’s dick in a tight cockcage. Obviously Daddy’s sadistic streak hadn’t been properly tended to in too long and he was taking it out all at once.

“You look so fucking good like this, Dean,” Daddy groaned, pressing the vibrator deep into Dean’s ass and then slapping him on one cheek. “Crying and panting only for me, so fucking _made_ to take it like a proper little dumpster boy.”

Dean moaned, half in pain and half to fake arousal. “Yeah, I want it Daddy,” he pressed out because he didn’t know else to do but stroke the older man’s ego. “Please give me your cock, want Daddy inside me.”

Anything, he’d take _anything_ instead of this harsh toy. Even a rock hard cock was still softer than a plastic dick and the glide would be so much smoother. Dean’s thighs shook and he was gripping the pillow tight as Daddy pulled out the vibrator slowly.

“You want me, baby boy?”

“Yeah,” Dean sobbed brokenly, feeling his chest constrict when Daddy held the vibrator right at the entrance. “Want you so much, Daddy.”

“Fuck you’re such a slut.”

But instead of getting his reward, his small break and then the quick fucking that would ensure that Daddy came and this would be over, Dean got the vibrator shoved roughly inside and he screamed loudly, unable to contain it. Daddy turned the vibrator up to max setting and it drilled relentlessly into Dean’s prostate.

It was too much, wasn’t even pleasurable because the sensation was overloading his systems and Dean was drooling from how hard he was gritting his teeth.

“Daddy, please!”

“Please what, baby?” Daddy’s voice was so raspy, such a low growl that Dean’s skin crawled. “If you need to come you can do so in the cage.”

He rose to sit on his knees behind Dean, bending over him to grab his neck and pressing him down even further against the bed as he rubbed his hard cock against Dean’s ass. Dean didn’t know what was up anymore, just that he needed Alastair to stop everything but he didn’t know how to say that. They didn’t have a safeword and Dean was anyhow supposed to like this, wasn’t he?

He tried to relax his hole, relax his whole body, and he focused on the feeling of the vibrator against his prostate, hoping against hope that this would be over if he came. Unbidden thoughts of Cas came to mind and Dean couldn’t help but wonder if Cas would treat him like this in bed. Judging by how soft the man’s touches had been Dean guessed not. Because Alastair had never made a show of being gentle; hadn’t once deceived Dean about what he wanted and how he wanted it. So maybe Cas wasn’t deceiving either? Maybe he would really treasure Dean in bed?

“Ah, fuck,” Daddy suddenly groaned and he blessedly stopped both holding Dean down and fucking him on the vibrator. Dean heard the clinking of Daddy’s pants being worked open and in the next moment he heard the man stroke his cock. “Say it, Dean.”

“I love Daddy the most,” Dean chirped and wriggled his ass. Seconds later he felt the hot splash of Daddy’s come on him, the man making sounds like a dying fucking animal and Dean wanted to relax but the vibrator was still mostly in him, buzzing like crazy.

“Fucking right you do,” Daddy said when he’d come down from his high. Dean didn’t even have it in him to care about Daddy’s harsh tone and thankfully he turned off the vibrator and pulled it out of Dean’s sensitive hole. He pushed none too gently on Dean’s side and Dean all but toppled over, exhausted to the bone.

“You came a lot, Daddy,” he grinned as cheekily as he could muster and Daddy chuckled, lying down on the bed beside Dean, pulling the younger man into a tight embrace.

Dean didn’t want it. He wanted out of the cage, wanted to clean off and sleep on his own like he usually did. Daddy’s sweat was so rank in Dean’s nose and he didn’t like how wheezy Daddy’s breaths got when he slept.

“That’s because you’re too fucking hot, baby,” Daddy smirked and grabbed Dean’s ass tightly. It made Dean gasp sharply in pain and Daddy gave him a look. “Is it that bad, huh?”

What? Dean’s ass? Yeah, Dean was pretty sure his fingers would come away bloody if he touched himself, Daddy hadn’t exactly been generous with the prepping.

“Kinda,” he mumbled, unsure on how to continue because Daddy didn’t usually ask how he was doing.

“Well how about this,” Daddy got off the bed to undress and he held up a key for Dean to see. “I want you to sleep with the cage on and then I’ll let you out tomorrow, do you think you can hold it that long?”

Dean at first didn’t understand what was happening. So Alastair _wasn’t_ asking if Dean’s ass way okay? Yeah, that seemed more normal to him but what about the cage and holding?

He squirmed on the bed, really fucking uncertain of what was going on. “I dunno…” he mumbled, trying to look shy and enticing all at the same time. He must have succeeded because Daddy gave him a — by his standards — sweet grin.

“I’m sure you can, you’re my good boy, aren’t you?” Dean just mewled in answer and that seemed to be the right thing to do because Daddy’s grin grew. “If you need to go pee-pee you just wake me up and I’ll unlock the cage, okay? I don’t want any messes.”

Dean _barely_ refrained from scrunching his nose. Pee-pee? He was over twenty for fuck’s sake. But okay, so Daddy wasn’t expecting him to hold off pissing, that was great news. Rather it seemed he wanted to cull Dean’s arousal and no fucking problem, man. Dean had never been so _not_ aroused in his life.

He buried his face in his pillow, peeking cutely up at the older man. “Okay, Daddy.”

“Fucking perfect,” Daddy growled and climbed into the bed again, pulling Dean closer to be cuddled with.

He didn’t mention the mess that was slowly drying on Dean’s ass and Dean didn’t have the energy to bring it up either. In a normal relationship he wouldn’t even have hesitated to go take a shower and in a healthy dom-sub relationship he would have felt comfortable enough to ask for it. Or the dom would just _know_. As it was now he just waited until Daddy’s come had dried enough to not smear all over the blankets and then pulled them over himself, waiting until he heard Daddy’s breathing evening out before he thankfully rolled away.

It was incredibly uncomfortable sleeping with the cockage and Dean didn’t relax until much, _much_ later and not only because the cockcage chafed but because his stupid mind wouldn’t leave him alone. It wasn’t like Dean _wanted_ to think about his awful life choices and fucked up living arrangements and he especially didn’t want to think about the fact that he would be missing Thanksgiving with his family this year again. Why did that even come up in the middle of the night as he laid there, listening to Alastair snore with the man’s dried spunk pulling uncomfortably on Dean’s skin? What a weird fucking thing to think about.


	5. Helpless and hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for Alastair being an absolute wanker. But you already knew that...

Apparently Dean managed to fall asleep in the wee hours because he was woken up by Daddy unlocking the cockcage.

 _“Finally,”_ was Dean’s first thought, as if getting rid of the cage would mark this ordeal to be over. Well, to be fair Daddy usually didn’t fuck Dean for days on end and this over-night thing was fairly uncommon.

Rough hands rolled him to his back and Dean was barely even awake when Daddy grabbed his chin and kissed him harshly. Dean wanted to resist because Daddy’s morning breath was no fucking joke and the man’s tongue felt like a big fucking slug forcing its way into Dean’s mouth. He barely resisted the urge to gag and held out for Daddy to finish.

“Morning, baby,” Daddy murmured and sat up on his knees, spreading Dean’s legs easily.

“Morning,” Dean mumbled, his tongue almost sticking to the roof of his mouth. Fuck, he hadn’t brushed his teeth yesterday, how disgusting. A glance at the alarm clock told Dean that it was half past nine and he wanted to groan in irritation. He needed to fucking study, not sleep around all day. His irritation grew when he realized Daddy was hard and stroking himself. “You’re perky.”

Daddy smirked lecherously. “I woke up and saw you in the cockcage, you look so fucking pretty locked up for me. I should keep you like this more often.”

Dean smiled uncertainly. He meant keeping Dean’s dick under lock and key, right? Not Dean altogether, _right_?

“But I need to study too, Daddy,” he mumbled coyly, hoping to get a clue about just how much Daddy wanted to lock him up, a chill going through him when the man bared his teeth for a moment.

“Not today, today you’re my little fuckhole, Dean.”

Dean swallowed down his anger. Today, yesterday, the day before that, how the fuck much was he going to miss just because of Alastair’s whims?

“Daddy…”

“You _are_ my sweet little hole, aren’t you?”

Fuck the man’s tone was hard now. He was jerking his cock so harshly it had to hurt and the glint in his eyes made Dean press back against the bed to get as far away as possible.

“Yes, Daddy,” he moaned sweetly. “I want it.”

But please not in his ass, Dean didn’t think it could take it. Daddy surprised him by grabbing his shoulder, though, thumb pressing in against Dean’s windpipe as he hauled Dean up into a sitting position. Dean made a choked off sound, completely unprepared for the rough manhandling and the pain that shot up his back when he sat up on his abused ass.

“You know you fucking love it,” Daddy growled and came right in Dean's face. It splashed across his cheek, up into his hair, and dripped down his chest. The smell was almost enough to make Dean gag and he felt a wave of unexpected sadness roll over him, so big that he nearly choked for real. “Fuck, you look like a proper whore with my come marking you, the perfect come slut,” Daddy grunted and petted Dean’s cheek, smearing it in.

Dean was shaking but tried to stave it off. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“So pretty,” Daddy smirked and then got off the bed to start dressing in the clothes he’d had on last night. “Wipe your face, little birdie. I need a sturdy breakfast.”

Which meant that Dean was making one, which was fine, he supposed, because it probably meant this was over for now and it had actually been tamer than what he had feared.

“Just gonna go take a shower.”

Daddy snorted and threw Dean one of his own sweaters. Dean wasn’t prepared at all and nearly got it right in the face but he managed to duck in the last second and avoid getting the sweater all sticky with jizz.

“No need for that, we’re staying in today and I’ll be needing you soon again.”

What the fuck was going on? Daddy must be trying on some new drug or something because while he was usually fucking Dean left and right there were more often than not a lull for at least a couple of hours, if not a full day. Or maybe…

Dean’s hands tightened around the sweater. What if Daddy really did know something about Dean and Cas? Maybe Cas had said something? If that was the case then Dean supposed he had gotten himself in this mess and even if it wasn’t that he was still responsible for sitting here right now. Alastair had never forced him to do anything, not truly.

“Okay,” Dean said and forced as much happiness into his tone as physically possible. He wiped his face curtly on the bed sheets and stood up to pull Daddy’s sweater over his head. With the spunk marking and the sweater Dean was pretty sure the older man was going through some kind of possessive streak — more than usual — and Dean knew to play into it. “Just give me a second to pee.”

Thankfully Daddy let him do that in peace and Dean took a moment longer to wet some tissues and dab gently at his sore hole. Sure enough the paper came off bloody but it wasn’t a lot and it was pretty much crusted so Dean just wiped enough off and rubbed in some crème, hoping Daddy would be satisfied with Dean’s hands or mouth for most of the day.

He dressed in a pair of unassuming hotpants because he knew Daddy loved it when Dean’s package and ass was on display and with how big Alastair’s sweater was on him, coupled with the shortness of the hotpants, it almost looked like Dean was naked under the sweater, which was a look that would work in his favor today, he thought.

He quickly looked at himself in the mirror and hated what he saw. His eyes seemed dead and he had dark rings under them. There was some drying come in his hair but he didn’t dare wipe it off or Daddy would know and get mad and fuck Dean’s life but he couldn’t take the man’s silent treatment for too long.

He stood for a moment in front of the big mirror in the bedroom and tried to collect himself but the longer he stood there, looking at the pathetic man in the mirror, the worse it got. He felt his eyes well up with tears and almost started hyperventilating when he tried to contain it.

“Dean!”

He jerked to attention when Daddy called for him, probably hungry and irritated that Dean wasn’t dancing around the kitchen, making him bacon and eggs. He drew a shuddering breath and plastered on a bright smile.

“Coming!”

His legs wobbled and whether it was from the pain in his ass or his state of mind didn’t matter because Dean had to just power through. Just go down there and play the cute boy toy for his sugar daddy so that he hopefully could get _some_ studying done later today.

“You can do this,” he mumbled to himself, hating how shaky his voice was. “Just smile. Smile and the world smiles with you.”

Dean was right and Daddy was already waiting in the kitchen, newspaper open and a grumpy expression on his face. Normally Dean would skip over to the man and kiss him on his cheek but his anxiety was too high so he just went straight to the fridge, intent on making the man’s breakfast as fast as possible.

“Mushroom omelet okay?” he asked in a cheery tone.

Daddy grunted and turned the page. “No mushrooms.”

Of course, because why eat _anything_ healthy? Dean just hoped the man didn’t croak before Dean was done with his education.

Dean had just plucked out the ingredients and had to take a moment to try and get his shaking under control before Daddy saw it when the doorbell rang. Dean jumped and Daddy looked up with a frown. There was barely a pause and then it rang again, and again.

“The fuck?” Daddy growled and stood up. “Well go see what’s going on.”

Dean _really_ didn’t want to, considering how he looked right now, but there was something in Daddy’s tone that brokered no arguments so Dean just went to answer the door.

And _of fucking course_ there was Cas.

The man’s expression turned from irritation to concern so fast Dean got a little dizzy. “Dean?”

Dean immediately turned away his face, opening the door a bit wider. “Daddy’s in the kitchen.”

Cas opened his mouth, clearly on his way to comment on Dean’s appearance and Dean wanted to sink through the ground, straight down to hell where he deserved to be. But Daddy saved him by joining them in the hall.

“Castiel, what’s the ruckus about?”

Cas’ face turned to business again and Dean couldn’t help but love how smooth the change was. He closed the door quietly when Cas walked in to join Daddy.

“I’ve been trying to call you all night.”

Daddy frowned. “I was busy fucking my insatiable little slut, what’s so fucking important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

Dean shuffled past the two men, head down as he made his way into the kitchen again. He wondered if he should ask if Cas wanted food too but didn’t want to bring more attention to himself. He hated it when Alastair called him demeaning stuff like that.

“Johnsen dropped out of the Eastwell project, Dana is threatening to settle out of court.”

Dean didn’t know jack squat about whatever Cas was talking about but he did know when trouble was coming and that was when Daddy went all red in the face.

“ _Fuck_!” he screamed and stormed into the kitchen, picking up his phone and dialing.

Dean picked up an egg. Shit, this day just somehow took a turn for the worse, didn’t it? Dean needed to really up his A game now. “Daddy, do you want your breakfast in the—”

“I don’t fucking care about food now you fucking idiot!” Alastair roared and Dean shrunk back against the counter. “Get the fuck out of here, you’re a fucking eyesore.”

He stomped out of the kitchen, phone to his ear and swearing profusely and only then did Dean notice that Cas had followed him and had heard everything. Dean’s throat closed up and he had to blink really fucking rapidly so he wouldn’t start crying. Honestly, he didn’t even know why he got upset, it wasn’t like he really thought Alastair loved him or something.

“Dean…”

Nope, Dean couldn’t deal with Cas and his stupidly soft tone right now. Why the fuck was he even still here?

“Yeah so, Imma go,” he said with strained cheerfulness. “You’re welcome to help yourself to anything in the kitchen, sorry I didn’t have time to put on coffee.”

He moved around the kitchen island, putting as much distance between himself and Cas as possible and absolutely refusing to look at the man as he hastily put away the food.

“Dean, wait.”

“I gotta go to UNI,” Dean stated in a high-pitched tone. “Gonna be late for class, later Cas.”

No, fuck, _fuck_ , he shouldn’t have used the man’s nickname. What if Daddy had heard, and even worse than that, what kind of impression did it give Cas? Dean didn’t need the man and his — probably fake — kindness, Dean didn’t need anything but money so he could manage his studies.

He rushed upstairs to get his wallet and phone, the key fob to his car hung on the hook by the door to the garage and he expertly avoided Cas, shaking all over as he got into his Mercedes. He sent off a text to Daddy as he waited for the garage door to slide open.

_Forgot some notes at UNI, be back in two hours. Love you Daddy._

Dean hated himself, he _hated_ himself.

His eyes were full of tears as he drove away from Alastair’s mansion at break-neck speed and he knew he was a danger on the road but he didn’t fucking care.

“ _Why_ am I so upset?” he gasped, trying desperately not to cry like a fucking pussy. “I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me, I’ve always known he doesn’t. No one loves me, that’s fine. It’s _fine_.”

And it _was_ fine, he didn’t need it and he never had. When the fuck had this started to feel like a big deal? When had he started caring? Come on, his studies were almost finished. If he was fine with just a Bachelor degree he was basically done within a year. Or maybe he could tack on one additional year or two and get a Masters in it?

But no, he wanted more. He wanted to do stuff that _mattered_.

“I want those fucking Buggalos,” he hiccupped and fuck, he had to pull over when he realized he was hyperventilating.

He managed to park normally and as soon as he had killed the ignition he bent over the steering wheel, pulling in big gulps of air. He kept repeating _“It’s okay, you’re okay”_ but didn’t really feel like it was helping.

He startled badly when there was a knock on the window beside him and when he looked up he was surprised to see a seriously concerned Cas looking at him.

He gaped at the man for a moment and then opened the door, sliding out to stand on shaky legs.

“Cas, what the fuck?”

“Are you okay?”

Dean swallowed over the lump in his throat, wiping his snot unattractively on the back of his hand.

“Yeah, sure,” he smiled as best he could. “Never better. Why’re you here? Doesn’t Alastair need your help?”

“I’m sure he does but he’s being an ass and sent me away,” Cas said calmly as if Alastair hadn’t just done the same thing to Dean, which had rendered him a sobbing mess. Fuck their worlds were different. “I had anticipated something like that and had my Uber driver waiting.”

“Did you follow me?”

Cas’ eyes softened and he looked like he wanted to touch Dean but held back. Dean would never tell him but that small gesture of respect meant the world to him.

“I couldn’t leave you alone, you looked very upset.”

Dean immediately averted his eyes. “I’m fine.”

Cas was quiet for a moment and Dean was scared he would press for more but once again he somehow anticipated Dean’s needs before Dean even knew of them himself.

“Do you want to go in and have something to drink?”

Dean looked up and noticed that he had managed to somehow drive to his favorite coffee shop. “Oh,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling shy in the face of the public.

“Come on, I’ll treat you.”

“You don’t have to, I have my own money…” he quieted down when he realized that no, he didn’t. He had spending money that his fucking sugar daddy had given him.

And why was he even accepting the offer to go inside? Dean should just turn back and go take a shower now that he had the chance. Because chances were that when Alastair either fixed the mess at work or didn’t fix it, he was going to need his little _slut_. Actually maybe Dean should take this golden opportunity at solitude to get some studying done.

Well, those were some great ideas but they did nothing to explain why he ended up following Cas into the coffee shop. Or, rather, why he let Cas lead him there. Because Cas didn’t just walk away and expect Dean to follow him like an obedient little puppy. No he walked beside Dean, his arm twitching as if he was dying to put his hand on the small of Dean’s back. Dean kind of wanted the touch for some reason but was immensely glad Cas didn’t just take without asking.

Inside was pretty quiet, probably the calm between breakfast’s end and the lunch rush, but even so Dean felt hyper aware of the people inside and the fact that he was wearing an oversized sweatshirt and black hotpants.

“There’s a restroom in the back if you want to freshen up,” Cas spoke in a pleasant murmur close to Dean’s ear and Dean almost turned into it.

“I know where it is,” he mumbled and made his way to it. Well inside he looked at himself in the mirror and had to fight not to cry again. He looked like fucking shit. Somehow it was even worse than when he first got a look at himself in the mirror at home. Well fuck, clearly he was an unattractive cryer, that was for fucking sure.

He washed his face in the sink, taking care to scrub his hair clean of the traces of come. After a moment’s deliberation he undressed and scrubbed his ass too, Alastair’s dried come from last night flaking off. He was loathing putting on the same clothes when he finally started feeling a little clean but he didn’t have much else.

When he got out of the restroom he saw that Cas had sat down at one of the tables in the back. He made his way over to the man, intent on telling him that this was a mistake and he would go home again, or perhaps to the university like he had said in the first place.

But when he got to the table Cas looked up with such an endearing smile and he drew Dean’s attention to a steaming mug with a wave of his hand.

“I got you hot chocolate,” he said, tone soft, and held up a plate with a scone on it. “And a scone.”

Dean just felt so fucking dumbfounded that he plopped down on the chair opposite Cas without any protest. Alastair bought stuff for Dean all the time, _expensive_ stuff, so why did this feel so different? So much _better_?

“Chocolate?” he tried smiling and thought it probably came out alright. “I’m not five.”

“Hey,” Cas said with a little frown. “They give chocolate to people who’ve faced off Dementors in _Harry Potter_.”

Dean didn’t know why but his heart felt ten times too big for his chest for a second. “I haven’t fought any Dementors,” he whispered and watched Cas’ features go from playfully grumpy to incredibly soft.

“Haven’t you?”

Dean stared down at the scone, its delicious scent wafting up and blending perfectly with the smell of melted chocolate. He thought about last night and how his whole body kind of hurt. He thought about how his worst fear _did_ involve Alastair because he was so scared that Bobby and Sam would find out about this arrangement he had with the older man and how they would probably react with repulsion. They both knew and completely accepted that he was gay but what he had with Alastair was a far cry from being in a relationship with a loving boyfriend. Hell, most people with sugar daddies probably enjoyed it. Meanwhile Dean hated every second and yet he kept doing it, for the money. What fucking separated him from a common whore?

“Maybe,” he rasped and bit into the scone. The taste was most probably just as delicious as its scent but Dean was too close to crying again for him to really taste it. Didn’t want to say that and ruin it, though. “It’s good.”

“I thought so too,” Cas said in a pleased tone and only then did Dean notice that the man had his own plate with crumbs on it and a half-finished cup of coffee. How the fuck long had he been in the restroom anyway. “I actually thought it was better than my cousin’s, and he owns his own bakery so you know,” Cas winked and it looked so fucking adorably quirky that Dean felt his heart swell again, “don’t tell him I said that.”

As if Dean would ever get the chance to meet Cas’ relatives. “Sure thing, Cas,” he said, his voice tight but he managed to smile anyway.

Cas looked at him for a moment while Dean ate his treat and tried his best not to moan about how good the chocolate was. The silence was definitely loaded but somehow it wasn’t very uncomfortable. Dean started feeling better when he was almost finished with the chocolate and he started thinking that maybe _Harry Potter_ was right about that.

“Dean,” Cas murmured then and brought Dean back to reality by putting his soft fingers against the back of Dean’s hand. “Are you truly okay?”

Dean swallowed and thought he should pull his hand away but all he really wanted was to turn it so that they could lock hands. In the end he ended up doing nothing and thought that was pretty nice too.

“Yeah, I dunno what happened. I guess I’m just tired, I’ve got a lot of university stuff going on so,” he shrugged as if that explained it all. Cas didn’t look convinced and Dean didn’t exactly blame him.

“You know you can always come to me, if there’s _anything_ you need.”

Yeah no, Dean _really_ couldn’t but it wasn’t like he was going to say that to Cas.

“You should watch it,” he said, trying to appear cheeky as he pulled his hand away under the guise of needing it to drink the last of the chocolate. “If you’re not careful I’m gonna end up getting the wrong impression.”

Cas looked somberly at Dean for a moment. “Or maybe you’d end up getting the exact right impression.”

Dean swallowed hard, feeling a dangerously warm feeling blossom in his chest and finding himself with nothing clever to say in response.

*****

_Another_ party? Really? Dean was standing in the master bedroom, leaning on the desk where he kept his jewelry and trying to gather his wits.

So Daddy had managed to fix the Johnsen mess and everything had worked out even better than originally planned and while that was good and all, Dean was sick and tired of parties. This was the second one this week and Dean was fucking tired to the _bones_. Unlike what Daddy apparently believed, Dean _did_ have other stuff to do besides acting like he was insanely in love with the older man. Fuck, even Benny, calm and understanding Benny, was starting to get annoyed.

Dean had to count to ten when he remembered how much he still had to do for their Control Engineering project and found that it didn’t help at all.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “It’s just for tonight too, it’s gonna be fine.”

For tonight’s occasion he had on all black, slim fit and constricting, and a small jewelry store’s worth of silver pendants, necklaces, rings, and bracelets. With how he jingled every time he moved, he wouldn’t be fucking sneaking up on people tonight, that was for fucking sure…

“Yeah,” he muttered, trying to get fired up. “Yeah, you can do this, you look great. Everything’s gonna go _great_.”

He heard a soft noise the second before he felt strong arms wrap around him from behind and he jumped but didn’t have time to turn around before the man pressed his face against the crook of Dean’s neck.

“Oh!” fuck, he hadn’t heard, had he? “I didn’t expect you, Daddy, I thought you were downstairs with the guests?”

“It feels so good when you call _me_ that.”

Dean jerked again, turning his head a little to see what he could of the man, gaze met by an unruly mop of dark hair.

“Cas,” he hissed, reaching up to pat the man’s head awkwardly. “What are you doing?”

Cas stepped in closer, pressing his whole body against Dean’s back and oh shit, that… that felt so nice. Cas was all hard lines and warm softness and he smelled _so good_. Dean wasn’t even sure the man was wearing cologne, maybe this was just his natural scent?

“You don’t have to worry, _he’s_ downstairs, just like you thought.”

Dean tried to turn around but Cas just squeezed him tighter and why the fuck was Dean getting a little bit aroused? Usually he hated it when his partners restricted him. Or, well… he had only tried it with Alastair and he hated that. This… this felt kind of safe. Secure.

“Yeah okay, but—”

“I just had to see you, Dean,” Cas pressed out in a tight voice. He loosened his grip and stepped back half a step, not nearly far enough for two people to have a conversation but enough for Dean to turn around. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how you looked last week.”

Dean blinked and saw that it drew Cas’ attention to his eyelashes. Fuck Dean hated that Alastair had made him wear mascara tonight, he looked fucking ridiculous.

“Yeah, I know I looked like shit, hope I didn’t give you nightmares,” he tried quipping but hell, he didn’t even have it in him to smile.

Cas looked at him with those deceivingly soft eyes. “It did but not for the reasons you’re implying.”

“And what am I implying?” fuck Cas was close. His voice set off vibrations in Dean’s body that he was both powerless and unwilling to quell. Dean couldn’t help remembering when last they had been alone in the mansion and fuck, those kisses had been so good but no, they _weren’t_ for him.

Cas cupped Dean’s face gently. “Please Dean, don’t waste your devotion on someone like him. You deserve so much better.”

“What…” Dean couldn’t look Cas in the eyes because fuck, if he did he might just cry and this mascara was probably not waterproof. “What do you know about what I deserve or not?”

A sad smile was all that Dean got as warning before Cas swooped down and kissed him. It was mostly sweet, like a promise of times to come and Dean fucking melted. He put his arms around Cas’ neck and pulled him in closer, kissing back with more fervor. Shyly but hungrily he licked into the other man’s mouth and Cas groaned deeply, as if having Dean take control aroused him to no end.

“I know you deserve to have sex that doesn’t leave you crying,” Cas whispered hoarsely when they eventually pulled apart, lips brushing Dean’s neck as he nosed against him.

Dean shuddered and craned his head to the side, giving both permission and access in that simple gesture. “Some people like that, crying during sex.”

“Yes,” Cas agreed simply, hands roaming Dean’s back and ass. “But _after_ sex is another thing.”

“It’s, um, BDSM or some crap,” Dean mumbled shyly. Fuck, Cas’ touches felt so good. Almost more soothing than arousing but oh shit, Dean’s dick was perking up anyway and Cas would notice. Alarms went off in his mind because of the fact that they were in _Alastair’s_ bedroom and that Alastair was downstairs.

“Oh Dean,” Cas sighed, tightening his embrace. “The most important part of BDSM is aftercare. I…” he rested his forehead against Dean’s shoulder for a moment before coming up to kiss him deeply. It took Dean’s breath away and yeah, there was no stopping his dick now. He got increasingly hard and could feel an answering erection against his hip. “I can’t believe how he’s treating you,” Cas growled when they broke apart again. The tone of his voice made Dean shiver but fuck, it was such a _pleasant_ sound. “Let me love you instead, Dean, I could do it so much better.”

Dean gave him a wry smile, unable to stop his hips from grinding slowly against Cas’. “You saying you want me to call _you_ Daddy instead?” he raised his eyebrows when he felt Cas’ dick jumping and Cas looked adorably shy for perhaps the first time. Well, fuck. “I guess so.”

“You don’t have to call me anything you don’t want to, Dean,” Cas murmured. “And you don’t even have to come with me. Just please, you should _leave him_. For your own safety and sanity.”

“You… you don’t know anything,” Dean mumbled but there was absolutely no heat behind his words.

“You’re right,” Cas smiled softly, hands coming down to cup Dean’s ass to start grinding faster. “The only thing I _really_ know is that I’m crazy about you. I want to know more about you and I want to have sex with you. I guess I’m just a fool in love.”

Dean felt as if his whole body when into a soft reboot. He convulsed and froze at the same time and what the fuck was even happening? Cas was kissing him again, that was about all Dean could focus on right now, that and the rhythmic grinding of their hips.

His legs felt gooey but Cas was supporting him, pressing him up against the desk so that Dean could perch on the edge and open his legs. Fuck, the heat between them was palpable now. Dean’s whole body was alight with pleasure and their kisses were urgent, passionate like they had been on the couch in Alastair’s study and Dean knew that if he didn’t get away from Cas soon he would end up coming in his pants.

Except this time it wasn’t so easy untangling himself from the man, and not only because Cas was pressing up against him but simply because Dean didn’t _want_ to get away. He knew he _should_ but that was a different matter.

Cas’ dick was a hard line in his slacks and Dean couldn’t help but want it. What would it taste like, how would it feel? Fuck, he could at least put a hand down there. He knew he couldn’t do what Cas wanted; couldn’t leave Alastair just like that — he needed the man too much — but maybe he could at least have this moment with Cas?

Pleasure made Dean’s mind blank out for a moment when Cas leaned in to bite lightly at his throat but then reality came crashing down on him. Cas couldn’t leave marks because Dean wasn’t Cas’ and he never could be.

“No, Cas,” he pushed lightly at the man and a shudder went through Cas’ body but he immediately pulled off a bit.

“I got carried away.”

And fuck, he looked so contrite Dean couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Yeah, I know. Me, um, me too but we can’t.”

Cas’ face darkened considerably. “Because you won’t leave Alastair. Do you really love him that much?”

Dean kind of wanted to cry and it was so weird considering how on edge he was from the kissing, so close to coming just like he had been the last time he and Cas kissed. Well fuck, the man didn’t really need to do much to get Dean going, did he? If anything Dean was at least glad there was nothing really wrong with his libido. Just Alastair ruining the mood by, well, _being_.

“He pays for my tuition,” he whispered, prepared for Cas’ scolding. For scathing words about Dean acting like a goddamn prostitute.

“So what?” Dean’s head snapped up at Cas’ impatient and questioning tone. “He does that by his own free will, doesn’t he? Do you…?” he looked sadly at Dean again and Dean swallowed hard. “Do you feel indebted to him? Is that why you’re staying?”

No use hiding it now, was there? Dean was just so relieved Cas wasn’t scorning him. Not yet, at least.

“Yeah…”

A look of pure relief washed over Cas’ handsome face but he schooled his features fast enough, which Dean for some reason thought was very cute.

“So is that the _only_ reason?”

“Cas, I’m not in love with Alastair,” Dean couldn’t help but smile when Cas sagged against him. “But I still can’t leave him, do you know how much money he has spent on me?”

Cas sighed a little and then turned his head, kissing Dean’s neck sweetly and most definitely igniting Dean’s waning erection.

“How much are the yearly tuitions? Ten grand? Thirty? That’s just pocket money for someone like Alastair, I should know. I make enough money _without_ scamming my clients to call it pocket money too.”

“Oh,” Dean all but squeaked, stomach squirming as Cas worked his way up Dean’s neck to kiss under his ear. Dean’s ears had always been a weak spot.

“Just because he’s spending money on you doesn’t mean he deserves your devotion. Not when he treats you like he does, you’re not a pet,” Cas stated in a definite tone and Dean’s knees felt like jelly, not only because of the man’s words but because he had taken Dean’s earlobe between his lips, rubbing it slightly.

“Cas…”

“Dean, you’re so precious,” Cas said in a groan and fuck, he wasn’t even aware what he was doing to Dean, was he? “ _Please_ let me in.”

At this point Dean would give the man anything, as long as he continued biting Dean’s ear. And then he fucking put his big man paws on Dean’s chest and pinched his nipple. Dean’s mind turned to mush and he knew he had to get away or he would come. His orgasm was building at a frightful pace, coiling tighter and tighter in his stomach even as his dick leaked all over his underwear and fucking _hell_ , he couldn’t come here like this but he _really fucking wanted to_.

The saving grace, as it were, came in the form of Cas’ phone going off. Cas groaned as if that was the worst fucking thing to happen and in some ways Dean guessed it was. Cas pulled off a little and shit, Dean was so close to coming he was shaking but he did his best to stay still.

When Cas pulled out his phone from his pocket Dean saw that the caller ID flashed _Naomi_ and Cas bared his teeth before silencing the phone.

“Do you need to get that?” shit, Dean’s voice was breathless.

Cas’ eyes were immediately on Dean, the fire behind them making Dean arch his back submissively.

“No.”

The phone went off again as soon as the first call disconnected, the same caller ID coming up.

“It really looks like you do.”

“Dean—”

They were both interrupted when they heard Alastair call out. “Baby boy?” fuck he sounded drunk already. “Where’s my little birdie?”

Dean’s erection had never flagged so fast, it was actually painful. “Shit, _hide_ ,” he hissed and Cas moved so fast and so fluently Dean thought he had to have been a ninja in a past life.

Dean jumped off the desk, going to meet his Daddy in the hallway outside the bedroom in the hopes that that would save Cas — and himself.

“I’m here, Daddy,” he said as lovingly as he could, feeling the words burn his tongue after everything Cas had told him. “Couldn’t find my rings,” he flashed Daddy his fingers, indicating his many rings and Daddy grinned lecherously.

“You look gorgeous, just like my little birdie should.”

“I know,” Dean chimed, going up to kiss the older man. Fuck, kissing Daddy now, so recently after Cas, made Dean really realize how rank the older man tasted. “Anything for Daddy.”

Daddy pulled him in and grinded against him like a horny dog, thankfully Dean had gotten mostly soft already and those kisses surely took care of the rest.

“Have you seen Castiel? He disappeared a while ago.”

“No,” Dean put on his thinking face, hoping Daddy was intoxicated enough already that he wouldn’t read too much into Dean’s flushed face and bad lying. “But I did hear the door to the upstairs bathroom a while ago, maybe that was him?”

“If so he’s been in there a long time,” Daddy eyed the door further down the hall and Dean took the man’s hands in his, turning them to the stairs.

“Maybe his stomach is hurting, I know I sometimes take the bathroom upstairs if that’s the case,” he lowered his voice, speaking a bit childishly and grinning. “It’s _embarrassing_.”

That of course worked because Daddy was already in a good mood, apparently liked Cas, and, most importantly, _loved_ _it_ when Dean acted like a little kid. It was both disgusting and Dean’s best weapon for getting his way.

Daddy put an arm around Dean’s waist, pulling him in to kiss him once more before leading him down to the party. More guests were arriving just as he and Daddy came downstairs and Dean immediately put on his best poker face, intent on making this the best party ever, in the hopes that it would calm his sugar daddy for a while so Dean could get some goddamn studying done.

He barely saw Cas for the rest of the evening and found out sometime around four in the morning that the man had gone home pretty early, claiming to have a headache and Daddy had readily accepted the excuse, connecting it to Dean’s suggestion that Cas had a stomach ache. Dean thought he should feel relieved that Daddy apparently had bought into the rouse but all he felt was a deep-rooted disappointment that Cas had left.


	6. Turn me

“Sorry we’re late, cher.”

Dean turned around in his chair at the table he had picked out the coffee shop, specifically because it was so far away from the one he and Cas had sat at. Fuck, Dean had a hard time using this coffee shop now because it just reminded him of everything Cas and Dean _really_ shouldn’t be thinking about that.

“It’s fine, it gave me time to catch up,” he smiled at Benny and Jo as they joined him at the table. Jo just gave him a happy smile and he marveled at how easy it was to lie to his friends. Well, he _had_ been thinking that he should read up on what he had missed for their project so he had the books open and ready. That he had spent the time obsessing over everything Cas had said and done last Friday was another matter.

Because, holy fucking hell, the man couldn’t have meant everything he’d said, right? Because if he did then that meant that he was in lo—no, Dean couldn’t say it. Couldn’t even think it because it would somehow make it real in his mind and what if it wasn’t? What if Cas was just saying things because he wanted Dean for himself? He could just as easily turn into an asshole worse than Daddy. With Daddy Dean at least knew what he got.

“So, what did you think about my approach to the project?” Jo asked just as Benny went over to the counter to order for them.

Dean cupped his own cup of chocolate — and no one better fucking dare mention his choice of beverage, it had _nothing_ to do with _anything_ — and thought for a moment how cute it was that Benny and Jo arrived together, that Jo let Benny order for her and that Benny was happy to buy her food, but that neither of them mentioned anything to Dean.

 _Clearly_ they were either in a relationship, or at least interested in each other but it was probably too new for them to be able to talk about it. Dean wanted them to just say it already so he could be all smug about figuring it out before it happened, kind of how he had been when he had figured out — from _miles and miles_ away, over the fucking phone — that that deaf chick in Sam’s chess club was into him.

“I like it but walk me through it again,” he answered with a small smile, an ugly feeling spreading in his stomach at the way he lied yet again. He hadn’t had a chance in hell to review Jo’s notes for their project and he was damn lucky his friends were so accommodating.

Almost two hours later he was all caught up and if Benny or Jo had noticed how far behind he had been they at least didn’t say anything about it. He just hoped that what he brought to the table now was enough to overshadow how he’d been behaving lately.

“I’m gonna get something more to drink, you want something?” both Benny and Jo declined so Dean went to stand in line on his own. It was surprisingly a lot of people in here for a Monday evening but Dean didn’t mind. Most people were students like him and he felt somehow calmed by the change in atmosphere from Daddy’s business friends.

The lady before him was an elderly woman, though. Crotchety and apparently prone to bickering with the barista and Dean kept his distance to her as he waited in line.

Suddenly there was a _presence_ behind him but before he could turn around he felt a hot breath against his ear.

“Hello, Dean.”

Oh fuck.

“Cas,” he murmured and turned his head half-way, glancing back at the other man. Cas was standing far enough away that it was decent for a public setting but definitely closer than strangers, or even friends. “What’re you doing here?”

Cas smiled and it looked a little strained, somehow. “I’ve started frequenting this establishment since you and I were here, it calms me.”

Dean felt the tips of his ears heat up and he was immensely happy there was no one behind Cas who could’ve heard, even if what he had said had sounded innocent enough.

“Is that so?” Dean all but squeaked and he resolutely turned his head to stare hard at the lady in front of him. The barista looked like she was going to strain her eyes trying not to roll them.

“How have you been?”

“Fine, I’m fine Cas.”

Cas leaned in and Dean immediately stiffened. Fuck he wanted Cas’ heat and yet he didn’t want it. Didn’t want what he couldn’t have fulltime and was frankly a little scared of his own reactions. He had never really felt such raw desire and arousal before and it was so new to him it was disconcerting.

“I don’t believe you and I want to remedy that,” Cas whispered, his voice washing over Dean and making him shiver pleasantly. Dean wanted to ask what he wanted to remedy; the fact that he couldn’t believe Dean or that Dean was, in fact, not fine. “But I will play your games for now. Are you here with your daddy?”

The way he said that last word, with such venom, made Dean bow his head in shame.

“I’m here with friends,” he glanced to the side and found that Benny and Jo thankfully seemed occupied with something in one of their many books.

“Really?” fuck, Cas sounded so happy to hear that that Dean almost sagged to the floor. “Are you working on something?”

“Um,” Dean shuffled closer to the counter when the lady before him _finally_ seemed done with her order. “Yeah, a uni project. For Control Engineering.”

“I thought you already had your exam in that?”

Dean couldn’t help it, okay? He fucking fell a little in love with how different Cas’ voice was when they spoke of Dean’s studies and friends, compared to how he sounded when they brought up Dean’s mental stability or Alastair. He couldn’t be faking that well, could he? No, Dean thought with a fluttering stomach, the man was truly happy that Dean had a life outside his sugar daddy.

“I had a midterm, not finals,” he said with a small smile. “We still have a long way to go. I was just taking a break to get something to drink.”

“Yes,” Cas said, voice and body close to Dean again and Dean couldn’t help but lean in a bit. “You need nutrition when you’re studying, let me treat you.”

“Cas, no, I have money.”

Somehow they ended up walking up to the counter together, Cas close against Dean’s back and Dean feeling slightly intoxicated by the man’s scent. That natural musk that fucking drove Dean crazy as he remembered the times they’d made-out like horny teenagers.

“I know that,” Cas said in a tone that made it clear he wasn’t happy about that money. And somehow, even though Dean thought he should feel ashamed from where the money had come from, he was just happy that Cas scorned it as much as Dean did. Truth be told, he nowadays fucking _hated_ where his pocket money came from but it wasn’t like he was going to say no to it, was it? “But I want to spoil you, Dean. It would be my pleasure.”

Dean looked up at Cas over his shoulder. “Would it?” why would Cas feel happy about spoiling Dean? Well, he supposed Alastair liked to do it because it made him feel like a hot-shot, maybe it was something like that?

“Of course Dean,” Cas put his hands on Dean’s sides, leaning in to speak close to his ear. “I only want to see you smile and be happy, Dean. Nothing else.”

“May I take your order, _please_?” the barista said and by her tone it was clear that she had said it at least once already. Dean actually fucking _blushed_ a little at having gotten caught staring dreamily at Cas.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, well aware that she was probably already annoyed because of that old lady. “I’ll have a cappuccino, please.”

“And a blueberry muffin.” She just nodded and went to work. Dean, on the other hand, stared at Cas with wide eyes. “You need to eat too, Dean,” was Cas’ only response, tone matter-of-fact and Dean couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay, sure.”

“No, wait, you don’t like sweets,” he straightened, clearly prepared to flag the barista down before she prepared the muffin.

Dean caught Cas’ hand in his and a thrill went through him at the softness. So much strength under such soft skin and Dean just wanted to rub his face all over Cas’ palm. And maybe Cas’ palm over some other places…

“It’s fine, I need the sugar to keep up with Benny and Jo.”

Cas frowned for a moment. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

Dean smiled to himself when the barista came back with his order, complete with a big ass blueberry muffin so fluffy it almost covered the whole plate.

“And for you, sir?”

Cas straightened and Dean felt weirdly aroused when Cas got called “sir”. It felt appropriate somehow and Dean wasn’t even annoyed that he hadn’t gotten a _sir_ for himself. Plus, Cas was obviously more used to it and handled it much better than Dean would have.

“Coffee, black. To go."

Dean was _not_ disappointed that Cas wouldn’t stay and meet his friends, don’t be fucking ridiculous.

“Thank you, Cas,” Dean mumbled as they walked away from the counter, Cas’ coffee in a to-go cup. “You, um, you don’t have to go if you were gonna sit here. Just because I’m here, I mean.”

“Dean,” Cas smiled softly and looked like he wanted very much to either hug or kiss Dean. Or maybe Dean was just projecting but either way they were some nice fantasies. “I would love nothing more than to sit with you and your friends and enjoy you laughing at me for not understanding a thing about your project but I wouldn’t ever want to impose. This is _your_ time, you should treasure it.”

The underlying meaning of course being that as soon as Dean got home Alastair would monopolize his time. That and the fact that they couldn’t really hang out without Alastair for fear of the other man’s jealousy. Because Dean wouldn’t leave him because Dean was a _coward_.

All those ugly thoughts aside, though, Dean felt a pleasant feeling bloom in his chest at Cas’ response.

“We wouldn’t laugh at you,” he mumbled with a small smile of his own.

“Probably not,” Cas said, tone warm. “You’re altogether too sweet to do something so mean. In any case I have to leave, I’m afraid I can’t be by your side for too long before my thoughts stray to…” his eyes raked up and down Dean’s body, quick and dirty and Dean felt so exposed but in contrast to how it usually felt when he got such looks this only served to make his body light up with arousal. “ _Dangerous_ territories.”

Dean swallowed hard. “Oh.”

Cas’ eyes were considerably darker when he met Dean’s gaze again. “I only want good things for you, Dean. But I’m also only a man, so please forgive me for where my thoughts stray to when I imagine you in my arms.”

Okay, Dean was definitely getting too hot to be standing in the middle of a fucking coffee shop with people around them and his friends a couple of tables over, probably watching them.

“Cas…”

“I know,” Cas murmured, his voice a pleasant rumble. “Please have a pleasant evening, Dean.”

He left with that and Dean had to take a few steadying breaths before he made his way back to his table on wobbly legs. On his way he passed two women, one staring at him and the other after Cas, and Dean heard one of them mumble “damn” and yeah, that felt pretty fucking appropriate.

He plopped down on his chair and felt a bit proud that he’d already managed to get his body temperature under control. The arousal simmered just under the surface but at least he would manage to _look_ normal, hopefully.

“So, what’d I miss?” when he looked up he was met by twin gazes, both Benny and Jo staring at him with glee. “What?”

“Who was _that_?” Benny asked, tone telling Dean the two of them clearly had witnessed more than he thought they had.

“Um… he’s, uh, Cas…”

“Is he your sugar daddy?” Jo whispered way too loudly and Dean hissed at her.

“What? No!”

“Pity,” she pouted and straightened, looking at the front door as if Cas could still be seen.

“He’s just an acquaintance,” Dean mumbled, picking at his muffin. “Wait, what do you mean ‘pity’?”

Jo rolled her eyes and shared a _look_ with Benny, though it seemed Benny was mostly humoring her. “I was just thinking I wouldn’t mind having a sugar daddy if he looked like _that_.”

“But not an ugly one?” Benny chuckled and Dean sank down in his chair, unable not to compare Alastair with Cas. And oh boy, it was a _far_ cry.

“I dunno,” Jo said and looked as if she was contemplating it extremely seriously. “I guess if he was nice enough it would be fine however he looked.”

“Even if he—?”

“Okay you know what?” Dean grinned, feeling how strained it was and powering through anyway. “This conversation is pointless, I already have a boyfriend and Cas is just a nice guy. He knows money can be tight when you’re studying and he’s making good money at his job or whatever, so that was the only reason he bought me this.”

Both Jo and Benny stared at Dean in confusion and obvious surprise and fuck, of course they would. What the fuck kind of outburst had that even been? Jo had just been kidding anyway.

And then the moment broke when a sly smile spread over Jo’s fine features. “So he _did_ buy you treats?”

Dean groaned and hid his face in his hands as Benny and Jo laughed at him. And though he was mortified he also felt a dangerous soft spot develop in his heart because this, getting teased by his friends about a hot guy buying him a muffin, felt so fucking _normal_ that Dean couldn’t help but covet it.

*****

Today was a good day, Dean thought as he sat in Daddy’s study, reviewing his notes for the project. A good day for a number of reasons. Most prominently was that he had been able to suppress thoughts about Cas for almost a full hour, which was a superior improvement from how it had been for the most part of the week.

And another thing, aside from Dean’s _excellent_ compartmentalization, was the fact that he was able to study at all. That was good for a number of reasons. Partly because it helped him not to think about Cas and partly because he _really_ _fucking needed to catch up_. Also, it was very fun. Dean loved the direction Jo wanted to take the project in and he was having an almost sinful amount of fun working out the kinks. Jo was a great visionary and she and Benny had praised Dean’s cognitive thinking so much that he couldn’t help but love working on her ideas.

As it was now, Daddy was having an important business meeting downstairs in his office and he had sent Dean upstairs before the man’s colleagues arrived.

“You’ll be too much of a distraction,” he had said, patting Dean’s butt. And somehow, even though it had sounded a bit condescending, Dean had taken it as a compliment and felt pretty good about it.

Usually Daddy wanted Dean around, mostly to show him off like a prized fucking pet or something, but sometimes to distract his guests. And Dean had always thought that was kind of ridiculous because come on, he wasn’t _that_ pretty. But today — perhaps because of Cas but let’s not go there — Dean had liked it when Daddy had said that and he had happily trotted upstairs.

He’d opted to take this rare opportunity to study in peace even though there was a Scooby-Doo marathon on and he could have watched it in the master bedroom. And to keep himself from thinking about what Scooby and the gang could be getting up to — as if he hadn’t seen every episode multiple times already — he had parked himself in Daddy’s study, for once getting to use the room for some _actual_ studying.

Really, it was the best place to get some reading done but Dean was rarely in it because Daddy always wanted Dean close at hand. But this was perfect. Located a whole floor away, the study was far enough away that Dean didn’t have to worry about being disturbed by yelling or loud laughing or whatever the fuck Daddy and his boisterous colleagues could be getting up to. No, in that aspect the study was practically soundproof as long as the door remained closed.

But of course it didn’t. Two hours into Dean’s studying — that was _two_ hours now that Dean’s hadn’t thought about Cas. He _hadn’t_ — the door opened and sure enough, there was Cas of all people. Because fuck Dean’s life. Just _fuck_ it.

“Dean?”

God, Cas looked good, why did he have to look so good?

“Heya, Cas,” Dean mumbled, shoulders slumping. “What’re you doing here?”

Cas closed the door and walked into the room, all the way up to the desk where Dean’s work was spread out. He held up a folder, smiling slightly.

“The meeting isn’t going so well, Alastair called me in and then he sent me up here to review the case.”

“Oh.”

“I’m guessing he didn’t know you’d be in here?”

Dean was pointedly not looking at Cas because, well, because he fucking couldn’t. Not without wanting stuff he had no place wanting.

“Who knows what he’s thinking?” Dean grumped and then rose to start collecting his papers and books. “Just gimmie a minute and I’ll be out of here.”

Cas turned to toss the folder none too gently in the direction of the couch and of course Dean’s mind conjured up memories of the two of them kissing on that couch. It was really ridiculous how Pavlovian his responses were and even more than that it was unfair how compatible their bodies were. It was safe to say that having sex with Daddy nowadays was getting more and more unbearable.

“You don’t have to leave, Dean. You can keep studying, I won’t disturb you.”

“Yeah,” Dean almost snorted because fuck you, Castiel Novak, Dean was already feeling his body light up just from being alone with the man. “I think we both know that’s not gonna work out, I’m too _aware_ of you and you know it.”

Cas watched him gather his things for a moment, the silence quiet and contemplating. Dean didn’t hate it, wanted it to feel uncomfortable so he could dislike it and have a good reason to tell the man to stop staring but the truth was that he enjoyed having Cas’ eyes on him and when the fuck had that happened? When had the man wormed his way into Dean’s mind?

 _“Too fucking long ago,”_ Dean thought with resignation. Cas was just too nice to him. Kind and gentle and so fucking interested in Dean and Dean was starved for that kind of attention. And it didn’t help that the man was easy on the eyes too.

Sometimes Dean wondered what his life would have been like if he had been accepted to Illinois Institute of Technology instead of Ohio State. Then he would have been living in or near Chicago while Cas was there too and maybe things would have been different? Too bad Dean had been too fucking stupid to get into IIT…

“What’s this? A blueprint?”

Dean almost jumped high when he realized Cas had moved around the desk to stand beside him. The man was holding up one of the papers Dean had been doodling on and was studying it with obvious interest. Dean blushed and ducked his head.

“Not really, more like a sketch of a prototype.”

“For what?”

Well fuck, Cas should tone down that impressed tone or Dean would be in real danger of falling in lo—

“It doesn’t matter, it wouldn’t work,” he smiled crookedly. “The math doesn’t check out. I was just goofing around with our project ideas.”

“This is in reference to Control Engineering? Then is this some kind of engine?”

Dean’s smile grew and he reached to turn the paper so that Cas was holding it the right way. “It’s part of a propulsion system. So in layman’s terms, I guess essentially an engine.”

Cas looked a little star-struck for a moment and Dean almost looked behind himself to see if someone important had spontaneously manifested in Alastair’s study. But no, Cas was staring straight at Dean and Dean felt himself blush harder and when the fuck had he started blushing like a twelve-year-old school girl with a crush on the teacher? He looked away and hastily shuffled his books into his bookbag.

“Can I keep this?”

Dean glanced at the doodle. “Yeah whatever,” he smiled a little tentatively. “It’s not like it’ll work out anyway, so don’t go ‘round trying to build it.”

Cas folded the paper adorably meticulously and put it in an inner pocket on his suit jacket. “I like your handwriting.”

“Dude, you couldn’t even tell that you were holding the paper sideways, _obviously_ my handwriting isn’t great.”

Suddenly Cas’ hand was on Dean’s head, carding through the hair at his temple and Dean turned big eyes up at the other man.

“Dean, you’re so…”

“What?” Dean asked and wanted to sound defensive but it came out all breathless.

Cas leaned in then, apparently choosing action over words when he answered Dean with a kiss. It was soft and tentative at first, sweet and completely blinding. Dean’s body lit up and he felt his worries kind of melt away and it was fucking _insane_ because he was kissing Cas in his sugar daddy’s study and they could get caught any moment. That should be a source of worry, not something that fucking made Dean feel safe and loved.

But he did and when Cas stepped closer to him to align their bodies Dean couldn’t help but moan a little at the back of his throat. Cas sighed contently against Dean’s lips and then licked them, begging entrance and Dean, _fuck_ , Dean wanted to grant it but…

He turned his head, brow drawn tightly as he avoided Cas’ searching eyes. “I can’t, Cas, I… Alastair is— _what the_?” he all but yelped when Cas grabbed him tightly and hauled him up on the desk, laying him flat on his back.

“Alastair is what, Dean?” he rumbled and fucking hell, Dean felt his dick twitch awake so violently it hurt. “Is mistreating you? Is paying you for sex with no regard for your health or what you’re actually doing with your life?” he leaned in, grabbing Dean’s hips to slide his ass to the edge of the desk and what the fuck was happening? “Or were you going to say something nice about that ass?”

“N-no,” Dean moaned, completely overwhelmed by the change in Cas’ demeanor. “It’s just, he’s downstairs, so…”

Cas’ eyes narrowed and Dean gulped, legs trembling around the man’s hips. “I’m a kind man, Dean. I’m gentle with my lovers and I’m attentive to their needs. And I’ve been approaching you that way because I want that with you but you’re,” he draped his upper body over Dean’s, grabbing his hair and putting his other hand on Dean’s hip, “You’re driving me insane. If gentle words won’t get through your stubbornness then maybe actions will?”

Dean’s breathing hitched when Cas snapped open his jeans in a move so practiced it made Dean’s head swim. He kissed Dean before Dean had a chance to gather his thoughts and holy fucking shit, Cas wasn’t kidding around anymore.

No he fucking kissed like he meant business, tongue snaking in to battle Dean’s into oblivion and Dean could only keen at the feeling of belonging. The raw physical sensation of Cas’ tongue wet and hot inside Dean’s mouth was one thing, was hot enough to have Dean’s whole body sing with arousal, but it was the way Cas cradled Dean’s whole body in his embrace that really made Dean delirious.

And when Cas pulled out of the kisses to lick his way down Dean’s neck, putting two of his fingers in Dean’s mouth instead, there was really nothing for Dean to do but suck them happily. And fuck, just like he had fantasized so long ago, Cas’ fingers tasted and felt fucking _divine_. And he let Dean do whatever he wanted with those fingers. Sucking, licking, and when he bit down gently Cas groaned so dirtily it made Dean buck up against the man.

Cas took the opportunity to shove down Dean’s jeans and underwear and holy fucking shit, this was getting serious. Because there was Dean’s hard dick and there was Cas’ warm hand, wrapping around him. Dean threw his head back against the desk, gasping hard as pleasure burst through him.

Cas regrettably pulled his fingers from Dean’s mouth but Dean soon felt them, spit-slick and wonderful, wrapping lovingly around his tight balls. And holy shit, Dean hadn’t come in so long. Felt like ages although it was barely a week. But God, that orgasm had been ruined by the fact that it had been Alastair pulling it out of him after Cas had left him needy and desperate at that fucking party.

But now Cas was here again, touching Dean, really _touching_ him, and Dean could barely think.

“You’re so beautiful,” Cas groaned against Dean’s neck, kissing him sweetly, in contrast to how lewdly he touched Dean between his legs. “If you’d let me love you I’d let you mark me up real good, Dean. I think about seeing your marks on me when I touch myself.”

Dean’s breathing hiccupped and he grabbed desperately at Cas’ shoulders when he felt the man push two fingers against Dean’s hole. Not inside, just kind of prodding around the entrance and Dean only then realized how much he wanted it, how much he wanted _Castiel_ to be inside him.

“Cas…”

Cas rested his forehead against Dean’s shoulder, breathing labored. “I don’t want to _own_ you, not like _he_ does,” he said in a hoarse voice, the word “he” spoken with such venom that Dean could hardly breathe. “I want us to be each others’, do you see what I’m saying?”

Dean did, fuck it all to hell, he really did.

He moaned, unable to voice all of his emotions, too tightly strung to be able to piece them into words. Instead he hugged Cas so close it was almost crushing and Cas made a soft sound against Dean’s neck, kissing him there just as he breached Dean’s hole slowly. It was a bit dry, the spit having mostly cooled, but Dean didn’t mind.

Cas didn’t push, not more than necessary, and his finger was so fucking gentle as it slid inside to the first knuckle. Dean felt the man shudder and he wanted to change positions into something that would let him feel Cas’ dick. As it were, he was pushed down on the desk, his own erection quivering against Cas’ stomach and ass hanging off the edge as he clenched his thighs around Cas’ waist.

But Cas didn’t move and Dean still hadn’t found his voice. It was all he could do to whine needily when Cas pulled out but thank fuck, Cas wasn’t leaving. He was just massaging Dean’s hole, making it loosen up before he pushed inside again. Deeper now and God, Cas’ finger felt just fucking right for Dean’s body.

“You're perfect in every way, Dean,” Cas murmured sweetly against Dean’s ear and Dean felt a broken sob wrack his body just as Cas pressed against his prostate. “You’re very stubborn but your body is far more honest, don’t you think?”

Dean’s whole body jerked as pleasure exploded in his groin, pulsating throughout his body and making his dick spit out more precome than he expected. Oh fuck yeah, that was what prostate stimulation was supposed to feel like.

“Cas!” he gasped, eyes flying open even as his nails dug in against the man’s shoulders when Cas prodded his prostate again.

“God, Dean,” Cas choked out, sounding completely stunned. What for Dean couldn’t even hope to figure out, not when his brain had melted from pleasurable overload.

Cas straightened, grabbing Dean’s hip in a tight grip as he pulled out his finger only to plunge two inside at the same time. Dean whined, bucking down on them and arching his back. He immediately missed Cas’ body and heat but in this position Dean was freer to move and with how Cas was standing and looking it was almost as if he was fucking Dean with something thicker than just his fingers.

Dean’s dick bobbed with every movement and he wanted to reach down and touch himself but knew he shouldn’t or he would come and he wanted to savor the feeling of Cas nailing his prostate with deadly accuracy.

“Daddy,” he moaned, high-pitched and needily, the word coming out automatically but somehow suddenly feeling so _right_. “Daddy, are you hard?”

Cas’ eyes snapped up to Dean’s, boring into his soul and making Dean keen submissively.

“I’ve never been harder in my life,” he answered in a delicious strangled voice. “But this is for you, this is _your_ pleasure.”

“B-but…”

“I love it,” Cas whispered hoarsely, pressing hard against Dean’s prostate, leaving his fingers there and just grinding slowly. Dean choked on an incoming breath, his orgasm rushing through him at break-neck speed. “If only you knew how much pleasure I derive from seeing you like this.”

“I-I’m…”

Cas’ hand on Dean’s hip clenched down harder and he pressed the heel of his hand against Dean’s balls even as he plunged into Dean’s needy ass.

“I’m aroused by your arousal, Dean. I want to see you come for me.”

Dean’s body was jerking uncontrollably and he looked up at Cas with watery eyes, barely believing the man could fulfill his deepest fantasy so precisely until he saw how debauched Cas looked. He made a jerky motion to his dick, intent on stroking himself to completion but his limbs weren’t working and it made him whine in desperation.

Cas glanced quickly at Dean’s hand and then promptly wrapped his own hand around Dean’s straining dick. Warm and big, confident in its movements as he stroked Dean once, pressing his thumb against the slit at the head and Dean was a goner.

He arched his back, choking out a scream as he emptied all over his front in big arches. It hit him wetly, soaking into his t-shirt and making Dean’s pleasure mellow out into a sweet buzzing as Cas gently withdrew his fingers, petting Dean’s dick and balls softly.

Dean relaxed on the desk, body still trembling slightly but fuck he felt good right now. He startled a little when he suddenly felt Cas start wiping down his front and he looked up at the man with a confused frown. Cas was still flushed and still clearly very aroused but he wasn’t making a move to remedy that. Instead he was using napkins he must have produced from his own pocket to clean off Dean’s come and to gently wipe Dean’s butt and dick and balls, a content expression on his handsome face.

“Cas, what’re you doing?”

Cas looked up, eyebrows high in his confusion. “Cleaning you.”

Yeah, there was no way Dean wasn’t blushing at that. He sat up with a grunt, noting how Cas stepped back but not so far that it felt like he was leaving.

“Yeah, but why? I can clean myself.”

“But I want to,” came Cas’ soft reply and Dean felt his blush intensify.

“Uh, okay,” there was a moment of silence where Dean wouldn’t meet Cas’ eyes and Cas remained completely still. And then Dean’s eyes landed on Cas’ obscenely tented slacks and he winced when he thought that it looked almost painful. “Hey, I could…” he reached for Cas’ hip, completely intent on helping the guy out.

“No,” Cas caught his wrist in his big hand, eyes soft when Dean looked up in surprise. “I wasn’t kidding Dean. I did this because I want you to understand what you mean to me, you’re not someone I just want to fuck around with, okay?”

Dean almost gaped like a complete moron. “But I want to…” and he did, God so fucking help him, he really wanted to touch Cas’ dick. To see him gasp in arousal and come because of what Dean did to him. Maybe he could suck Cas off? Fuck yeah, that sounded so fucking awesome Dean almost felt his own dick revive.

Cas stepped up to Dean and cupped his face, leaning in to kiss him lightly. “And I want you to.”

But he wouldn’t let Dean and Dean was no fucking idiot, he knew why and it stung. Not because Cas was denying him, that was actually the more sensible decision, but it stung because it was Dean who was denying himself.

Instead of doubting, he should try and take the leap but Dean was scared. Not only of how Alastair would react but of the love Cas was showering Dean with. No one had really given him something like that so freely, without expecting something in return and what did Dean have to give anyway? There had to be a catch somewhere, Dean simply couldn’t allow himself to hope that someone like Cas could love someone like him just because… well, just _because_.

Life, especially Dean’s, wasn’t that kind of a rosy reality. Something that was made abundantly clear when he only five minutes after Cas had left him to go to the bathroom got called down by his sugar daddy. He then had to sit in the man’s lap, getting groped while he listened to Alastair conspiring with his colleagues on how to best adjust their files so that they would get more money than intended when they sued a smaller iron business into bankruptcy. Dean shut out most of the conversations, too uncomfortable with the subject, and instead spent his time fuming about the fact that he suddenly wasn’t such a distraction any longer.

God Dean hated his life and himself, and even more so when Cas eventually joined the meeting, tightlipped and stoically avoiding Dean’s eyes for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen! I know I'm being mean but please trust me when I say things _will_ turn around soon. Stay strong, y'all! <333


	7. It’s the end of the world as we know it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, y'all, the pace is quicker for this chapter, so it contains a bit more than usual lol  
> Prepare your hearts for some changes! <333

“Fuck yeah, you like daddy’s cock ramming your tight hole, don’t you?”

Dean only moaned, loud and fake, because for one Alastair had barely prepared him and it kind of hurt and secondly, no he did in fact _not_ like the dicking he was subjected to. Alastair had no finesse, there, Dean just said it.

The man just pistoned his hips, in and out in fast and short thrusts that did practically nothing but make it feel like Dean was fucking taking a dump. It wasn’t enjoyable. Sometimes it kinda was, when Alastair was calmer and actually managed to find Dean’s prostate. But when it was like this, when Alastair was high and just using Dean for his own needs, it was highly unenjoyable.

And here was another truth; Dean was sick and tired of faking it. How the fuck hard was it even to nail his prostate? It wasn’t like Dean’s hole was _that_ big and for all his faults, Alastair was far from small in the dick department. So he should be able to graze it and maybe he was, maybe he was in fact driving right against it and Dean was just so fucking _done_ that he didn’t even notice.

 _“Bet sex with Cas is fecking awesome,”_ Dean thought sourly as he bit down on the pillow to keep from yelling in irritation. He was ass up and chest down, breathing impaired by how hard Alastair was fucking into him, one hand on Dean’s hip and the other on his neck to keep him down. _“Bet Cas fucking_ knows _how to make it good.”_

Judging from that fingering he’d gotten yesterday, yes, Cas was probably a sex god compared to Alastair. Fuck that had been good… Dean didn’t think he’d ever come that hard, or it had at least been so long that he’d forgotten how it could be. And shit, just remembering how he had called Cas “daddy” had his whole body light up with arousal. Calling Alastair that now felt more like a joke than ever before…

He gritted his teeth at a particularly hard thrust. Alastair groaned loudly but Dean ignored him. Instead he thought about what Cas might sound like. Cas groaned a bit too when he was aroused, but he wasn’t as vocal as Dean. He did say stuff though, stuff that probably wasn’t as arousing as Dean found them but holy hell it made Dean hot even now, long after.

_“I’m aroused by your arousal.”_

Cas had said that and thinking back on how hard he had been, how flushed and fucking gorgeous he had looked, Dean was inclined to believe him. Dean wondered for a moment if Cas would be the kind of guy who would want to rim Dean and the thought made him moan for real.

Of course Alastair took that as incentive to fuck him both faster and harder and with even less technique but Dean didn’t care anymore. He freely immersed himself in the fantasy of being in this position but with Cas behind him instead.

Cas’ gentle hands on Dean’s hips, Cas’ soft mouth against Dean’s sensitive hole, tongue plunging in deeply and cleverly. Dean’s body shuddered and against all odds his dick started taking an interest. Fuck, Dean wished Cas had let him at least watch when he jerked off. Because Dean was pretty fucking sure that was what Cas had done in the bathroom right after. He’d fucking cleaned Dean up, petted him softly, said some sweet-for-nothing words and left to jerk off on his own because he didn’t want to impose his arousal on Dean.

“Fuck,” Dean moaned through gritted teeth, images of what Cas must have looked like swimming before him. Mouth open and eyes closed, Cas probably looked like a fucking wet dream when he came. God, Dean wanted to suck him off.

“Yeah you like it like that, don’tcha? Fucking slut.” Alastair growled and almost ripped Dean out of his fantasy but no, he was in too deep now. “Just like a bitch in heat, you want your alpha male to fuck you hard.”

Dean almost laughed because what the hell? Alpha male? The fuck did that come from? And also, no, Dean _really_ didn’t think of Alastair that way. Maybe Cas, though…

Yeah, Cas was a gentle lover but he was the kind who really satisfied his partners, Dean just fucking _knew_ it and it was such a turn-on.

Ignoring Alastair and his disgusting language, Dean reached down between his legs to start jerking his dick. The angle was awkward with him pressed down like this but he didn’t care, the friction was great enough to make him moan again. He clenched his hole around Alastair too but that was involuntarily, although Alastair obviously chose to take it as a compliment.

“Yeah this is turning you on, huh? Tell me, whore, do you like your daddy fucking you?”

“Feels so good, Daddy,” Dean moaned, more to shut the man up because damnit, it was difficult to focus on his fantasies about Cas if Alastair kept running his foul mouth.

Thankfully enough Alastair seemed satisfied with the answer and he rammed into Dean with gusto, leaving Dean to try and ignore the dull ache in his ass as he stripped his dick with quick flicks of his wrist.

Maybe — Dean went back to his rimming fantasy — maybe when Cas was licking him he would reach between Dean’s legs and stroke Dean’s dick at the same time? Just wrap his warm hand and deft fingers around Dean’s hard length and jerk him quick and dirty.

Dean’s whole body bucked at the thought and he felt his balls draw tight. Well fuck, this way he might actually come during sex and wouldn’t that be a thought? It was a long time since he had done that and suddenly he felt starved for an orgasm, even though he’d just gotten a stellar one from Cas yesterday.

The memory made him sob out a broken groan and he felt precome soak his fingers. Oh Cas was clever, Dean saw that now. First he wormed his way into Dean’s mind and heart and now he’d won Dean’s body over as well and Dean was far less apt at denying his dick than he was at denying his heart.

“Shit,” he gasped when the realization hit him and he felt a surge of pleasure go through him. “Fuck, I…”

“You gonna come, baby boy?” Alastair groaned but Dean barely heard him because yeah, he really was coming.

He gasped Cas’ nickname as he came hard, spunk splattering against the bed, but he found his mind fast enough to salvage his faux pas.

“Come in my _ass_ ,” he almost screamed and it startled Alastair’s orgasm out of him.

He slammed in one last time and then froze as he spilled inside Dean, hands clamping painfully around Dean’s hips and ruining his afterglow. But that was fine, Dean fucking deserved that anyway. Because he’d fantasized about another man while his sugar daddy fucked him and he’d fucking _said Cas’ name_ when he came. He was just lucky Alastair was drunk enough to not have noticed and that he fell for Dean’s stupid acting.

Alastair pulled out too soon, slapping Dean’s ass and getting off the bed with a satisfied chuckle. Dean slumped down on the wet spot, wishing he was anywhere but there right now.

“Fuck that was good, you were sexier today for some reason.”

Dean _hated_ himself. “Because Daddy was so hot yesterday at his meeting but you didn’t fuck me.”

That made Alastair chuckle again. “Don’t worry, I’ll do you good to hold you up for a while.”

Dean lifted his head, looking at the other man as Alastair stopped by the nightstand to check his phone. “Why?” he frowned, not liking the sound of that at all.

Alastair looked over at him and obviously misinterpreted his frown. “Don’t worry, birdie. I just have to go on a business conference, I’ll only be gone two days.” He went back to the bed, cupping Dean’s face and running his thumb over Dean’s lips. “I’ll fuck you so good you won’t have time to miss it.”

Yeah, Dean wasn’t the least worried that he would ever miss getting fucked by Alastair…

“Thank you, Daddy,” he mumbled and hoped it came out sounding cute but he honestly didn’t know. All he felt was fatigue, so deep it made his bones rattle.

“My sweet little baby,” Alastair said and maybe, if his tone had been different, Dean wouldn’t have felt a chill go down his spine. “I’ll think I’ll start right now. Here,” he stepped even closer, getting on one knee on the bed to thrust his crotch in Dean’s face, holding up his spent dick. “Clean daddy’s cock.”

Dean wished he was the kind of person who could just get up and walk away, maybe bite Alastair’s dick off first. But he wasn’t so he stayed, hating every minute.

*****

Dean’s hand shook as he dialed the number to the Sandover switchboard and he didn’t even know why. Obviously this was a _great fucking idea_ , Captain Morgan had told him so and if there was anything Dean had learnt from his father it was that great ideas were always to be found at the bottom of rum bottles.

“Prolly shouldn’t tell ‘Ammy that,” he fucking _giggled_ and yeah, he knew deep inside that he was walking a dangerous line. But fuck it, okay? He was fucking alone, no sugar daddy and no boyfriend and no friends, just Dean and the Captain and these _Thoughts_. Dangerous, captivating, _Thoughts_.

“Sandover Bridge & Iron Company, how may I direct your call?”

Oh _shit_ , Dean needed to fucking hang up!

“Yes, um, Castiel N-Novak, please. Uh…”

“One moment, please.”

Well that was fucking efficient, Dean had thought it would be more difficult to call Cas’ office. As he waited he stared blankly at the wall opposite the couch in the study. In his and Cas’ study, he might just call it. Because fuck if Alastair had used it in a while and the last two times Dean went in here _stuff_ had happened and that was why he was calling.

“Castiel Novak’s office, how may I help you?”

Fuck, that wasn’t Cas.

“No, I’m Meg, Mr. Novak’s assistant,” the woman answered dryly, her professional demeanor slipping and Dean blushed furiously when he realized he had said that out loud. He chugged down a healthy amount of rum as if that would make him smarter. “Can I help you?”

“I, uh, I wanna talk to Cas?”

“Was that a question?”

Dean was too fucking drunk for this shit. “Look, I-I just wanna talk to him, okay?” and maybe see him? Yeah, definitely see him. Cas was so fucking smokin’.

“Yes, a lot of our clients say the same,” Meg said, humor now clear in her voice and Dean needed to stop fucking blurting out his every thought. “But is that all you want to tell him? Because I can DM him that.”

“N-no…” Dean suddenly felt so stupid and ugly. Bet Meg was one of those high-end women, classy as fuck with a pinstriped skirt and hair in a bun. Beautiful and right for Cas in every way. Not a trashy hand-me-down like Dean. “I just…” well fuck, he wasn’t crying now was he? How humiliating. “I wanna hear his voice.”

“Oh,” Meg mumbled and yeah, Dean knew he was pathetic alright? He was probably getting Cas in a lot of trouble too. Bet Cas wasn’t out of the closet at the office and he would lose clients and maybe even his job because of Dean. That was a thing, right? Bullying and harassment and Dean was bringing it all down on Cas just because he was so fucking selfish.

“I’m lonely,” he blubbered, hugging the rum bottle to his chest and trying desperately to quell his emotions because they were all ridiculous, they were _so fucking ridiculous_. “Can I just talk to him?”

“Just a moment, whom may I say is calling on him?”

“Wh-what?”

“What’s your name, little one?” Meg’s voice sounded much sweeter than her teasing tone from before and Dean felt something in his chest break. He shouldn’t do this, shouldn’t say his name because he just knew that this somehow could trace back to Alastair. The man would know and would assume and he would kick Dean out and Dean would have to go back to South Dakota, broke and _so fucking stupid_.

“Dean.”

“I’m patching you through now, hold on.”

Dean’s heart lodged in his throat and he held his breath for some fucking reason. This was such a bad idea, he shouldn’t have called. Cas was sure to get mad. Damnit, Dean should just hang up but shit, he’d given Meg his name, hadn’t he? Sly bitch…

“Dean?”

Woah, okay, Dean wasn’t prepared for Cas to sound so fucking concerned, what the fuck?

“Yeah. Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

Wow, Dean could practically _hear_ the frown in Cas’ voice but damn, despite that it felt so fucking sweet to hear the man’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m, um, I’m alone…”

“Oh yes, he was going on his trip this week.”

Dean wondered for a moment who Cas was talking about but then it clicked and oh, the man was so smart not saying Alastair’s name out loud. Who knew if someone was listening in on this conversation? Dean probably shouldn’t have called Cas on his work phone but he didn’t have any other number. And now that he thought about it — Dean looked around the room, head swiveling — was he really sure Alastair hadn’t put in any security cameras? Fuck, Dean had been living here for years and he was just now wondering about that? Maybe he really was an idiot.

“Yeah, so… how’re you doing, or whatever?” smooth, Winchester…

“Dean, are you drunk?”

Cas sounded much less condescending — not at all, in fact — than Dean thought he deserved.

“Maybe,” he mumbled, feeling his stomach churn when Cas made a lamenting sound.

“You shouldn’t drink when you’re alone.”

“So what?” he spat, suddenly vicious. “I’m fucking sad over my train wreck of a life, fucking lay off.”

“You know drinking your sorrows away can lead to alcoholism.”

Well fuck Cas, okay? He didn’t know shit. “Not from one time, you asshole,” he hissed, the rum sloshing in the bottle when he waved it around as he spoke. “And don’t you fucking talk to me about alcoholism, my dad was a drunk okay? I _know_ because it fucking killed him and left me and Sammy alone.”

“If I was with you I would hold you tightly and never let you go,” Cas countered in such a calm and soft tone that Dean was stumped.

“R-really?”

“Really. You would never have to drink if you were with me, unless it was a joyous occasion.”

Yeah, it wasn’t like Dean could keep being mad now and where had the anger even come from? He hadn’t exactly called to yell at the man; he was far from angry with Cas. Although… why _had_ he called?

“Like… like what kind of occasion?”

“Let’s see,” Cas murmured, sounding as if he was getting comfortable. “Like for your birthday. We could go to France and I could embarrass myself as I try to impress you by using the French I learned in high school to order cuisine neither of us would be able to eat. But the wine would be good and we would laugh about it as we shared a meal at McDonald’s afterwards.”

Dean felt his whole body shaking. “That… that sounds kinda nice…”

“Or when we have a housewarming party after I’ve bought us a house, perhaps somewhere close to your family? Your friends would come and we would toast to our new life together,” his voice suddenly changed pitch, going from a soft murmur to something more intimate. “Or we could share a few beers as we celebrated our engagement.”

Dean’s breathing hitched. “Don’t…”

“Don’t what, Dean? Fantasize? I can’t help it, I want a life with you.”

“Don’t dangle something like that in front of me. It’s cruel.”

“Dean,” Cas’ voice was suddenly stern and Dean squeezed his eyes shut, tears welling over and going down his cheeks. “I know you don’t think you deserve love, but you do. My God, you’re the most deserving person I’ve ever met and I want to spend my life convincing you if you’d only let me.”

“I don’t deserve _you_ ,” Dean blurted out, drawing in big hulking sobs.

“Are you crying?” why did Cas sound distressed because of that? He probably remembered that the face Dean made when he cried was ugly as shit, probably regretted his words now…

“You’re so fucking handsome, Cas. You’re rich and successful and you deserve so much better than me.”

“Alastair is rich and successful too, but _he_ apparently deserves you. Are you saying it’s just a matter of looks then? I would change my face if I could.”

“Don’t judge me, please,” Dean sobbed, his breathing chopped as he tried to get his crying under control. He hated the hurt he’d just put in Cas’ tone but he knew he deserved to feel like shit about hurting the man. Cas was so good, _too_ good. “I want you so fucking much it hurts, okay? You fucking won, I fell for you, but that doesn’t mean it can happen.”

“But it can, Dean,” Cas rushed to interrupt him and Dean swallowed hard at the underlying happiness in Cas’ voice now. Shit, he’d said too much and now Cas had his hopes up. “I know you think there’s no way you can leave that asshole but I can help you. During these months I’ve been working here I’ve discovered a lot of uncouth things he’s doing, covert scamming, I can use it to get rid of him for good.”

“Wh-what?” well shit, Dean had always known Alastair was an ass but if this was true… “Isn’t that dangerous for you?”

“It’s what I was sent here to do. Listen,” Cas sounded like he had calmed down and Dean just went with it, too drunk to really wrap his head around what Cas had just said. Because it sounded like Cas had been sent to spy on Alastair and what did that mean? For them and for Sandover? And for Alastair? “I can’t talk about this right now but please trust me, let me help you get away from him.”

Dean’s whole body trembled and he didn’t even know why anymore. So many feelings swirled around his mind that he felt sick.

“I’m gonna throw up,” he burst out and hung up, flinging himself off the couch and barely making it to the toilet in time.

*****

Two days later Dean still wasn’t sure his hangover was cured but that didn’t matter because Alastair was home and Dean was expected to entertain the man because of course he was. His mind was in a jumble and he had missed his lectures these past days but he couldn’t even bring himself to care.

Cas’ PA Meg had somehow managed to save Dean’s number because apparently even technology was against him. Cas had only sent him one text, though, asking him if he was alright, begging him to reconsider. He hadn’t written anything too revealing — the text could just as well be about something school related — and Dean hadn’t saved Cas’ number as a contact so it just stood as a random number that Dean hoped to high heaven Alastair wouldn’t recognize if he ever looked at Dean’s phone. He should just delete the text, it wasn’t as if he was going to answer anyway.

He wanted to answer though, and he probably should, but now he didn’t only feel undeserving of Cas’ affection, he also felt mortified about his own behavior and he just wanted to _die_. In a way, Alastair’s crappy treatment felt like penance and Dean did it with a smile. A strained smile, but a smile nonetheless.

Alastair had come home from his conference with a colleague in tow and the man had stayed with them for these past days. Dean low-key hated the man. Zachariah Adler was just the kind of pompous ass that gave wealth a bad face and though Dean was fairly used to being ogled he couldn’t help but feel his skin crawl when Adler dragged his beady little eyes up and down Dean’s body. He’d licked his lips one time, for fuck’s sake. In comparison Alastair was almost tame…

This evening Alastair had invited Abaddon too and the three of them had been in the den for most of the visit, drinking and smoking cigars. Obviously they were celebrating something and Dean didn’t want any part of it.

He was up in the master bedroom, on his stomach on the bed and wallowing in the sad existence that was his life. He wondered if Alastair had even noticed that Dean was feeling down and, if he had, if he cared.

“Bet Cas would care,” Dean muttered and rubbed his face against his pillow for a moment, trying to dispel thoughts of the other man. His phone was on the nightstand, well within reach and somehow seeming so far away. But he wouldn’t do it, wouldn’t give in to being a little pussy. He eyed his bookbag instead, full of his project and other bullshit that he usually loved but hated right now. He should really get to it, though…

His thoughts were interrupted when Alastair opened the bedroom door, big grin on his face revealing that he was high on other stuff than just brandy and cigars.

“There you are,” he cooed in his creepily raspy voice. “I’ve been _looking_.”

Yeah, Alastair hated looking for Dean…

“Sorry, Daddy,” Dean mumbled, rubbing his eye for effect. “I was sleepy.”

“Well you’re all rested now, aren’t you baby boy?” by the look in Alastair’s eye Dean immediately knew that yes, he was well and thoroughly rested or _else_ …

“Yeah,” he grinned as widely as his tired heart could muster and got up to sling his arms around Alastair’s neck. “Kiss?”

Alastair chuckled smugly and hugged Dean tightly, mouth pressing against Dean’s and tongue practically forcing its way into Dean’s mouth. Fuck he tasted bad, acrid and stale and Dean couldn’t take it. His mind reeled back to how it had felt when Cas kissed him. How the man had tasted and how Dean’s body had responded and this was so fucked up.

He pulled out of the kiss and pretended to cough. “Got spit in my windpipe,” he wheezed and grinned dumbly. Luckily for him Alastair was apparently too high to care.

“Come on, baby,” he grabbed Dean’s hand, the grip too tight but Dean knew he was skating on thin ice as it was. “Come have some fun with us.”

Yeah, Dean was pretty fucking sure he wouldn’t have any fun but whatever, it wasn’t like he had the energy to argue right now. Or a choice, for that matter.

To his surprise Alastair led him to one of the guest bedrooms instead of the den. More specifically, to the guest bedroom Adler had been occupying since they got back. Dean got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach but he didn’t slow his steps, too aware of Alastair’s tight grip on his hand.

When they entered the room Dean immediately took notice of the other two people in it. They were half-naked and that was way more than he wanted to see of either Alder or Abaddon. Fuck, Dean would have to burn his retinas…

“Daddy?” he mumbled, feeling extremely conscious of everyone’s eyes on him.

Alastair put a hand on the small of Dean’s back, grinning widely. “We thought we should have some _extra_ fun tonight, birdie,” he said, his tone slimier than Dean had ever heard it. “Let’s play cuckold, shall we?”

“Cuckold?” Dean asked dumbly and stumbled a little when Alastair gave him a small push towards the only bed.

“It’s when a man has to watch his wife have sex with someone else,” Abaddon explained in a lascivious tone. “For instance, you and Adler.”

Dean’s blood ran cold as he met Adler’s filthy gaze. “I… Daddy?” he turned to Alastair, desperate to have him swoop in and save the situation.

“Yes, baby boy?” Alastair asked, eyebrow raised, challenging Dean to deny them this play. “Are you confused about Abaddon? Don’t worry, she knows you only like men.”

“Yes, I won’t be touching you,” she said and sat down in a plush armchair that stood opposite the bed. “I’ll just be over here, enjoying the show.”

And by the way she spread her legs and put her hands down between them Dean knew _exactly_ what she would be doing. Fuck, he felt sick. Sick enough to throw up but also so fucking angry all of a sudden. He wasn’t a fucking sex toy and he should have a say in this.

 _“Cas would never treat me like this,”_ Dean swallowed hard as he thought about the man’s kind eyes.

“Get undressed, boy,” Adler suddenly snapped and Dean saw Alastair’s brow twitch, saw his one chance at escape in that annoyed tick. Daddy didn’t like it when people played with his toys, after all.

He turned to his sugar daddy, sweet smile on his lips as he pressed up against the man. “But I belong only to Daddy,” he mumbled submissively, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Alastair smirked and for a moment there Dean thought he’d done it. “Yes you do, baby. And daddy wants to watch you get rammed by another man. Don’t you wanna be a good little slut and please your daddy? Hey,” he looked up at Adler, devious smirk growing and making dread sweep over Dean. “Go rough on him, I wanna hear him scream for me.”

“You want me to rape him?” Adler asked in a tone that was _way_ too interested. The hair at the nape of Dean’s neck stood on end and to his terror Alastair nodded.

“Fuck yeah, that would be so good,” he looked down at Dean, hand squeezing Dean’s hip painfully. “Wouldn’t it, boy?”

Dean didn’t know what to say for a moment. His sugar daddy, the person Dean had relied on for all this time, wanted him to get raped just so he could hear Dean scream in pain and fright? This wasn’t normal, this wasn’t right, this wasn’t…

This wasn’t what Dean wanted at all.

He smiled up at Alastair, serenity suddenly sweeping over him as he came to a decision he finally could be fucking proud of.

“It sounds perfect, Daddy,” he said sweetly. “Just let me wash up, okay?”

Alastair chuckled, bending down to kiss Dean on the nose so that it got filled with the sour scent of the man’s breath. “Don’t take too long.”

Dean squirmed in place, a coy little smile playing at his lips and then he walked out of the room, one last flirty as _fuck_ gaze thrown in Adler’s direction. Well out in the hallway he closed the door, his whole body shaking as soon as he had even that little barrier between him and the perverts inside.

“Fuck this shit,” he whispered, hurrying down the hall to the master bedroom.

Yes, he owed Alastair for paying for his school tuition all this time, yes he thought he didn’t deserve much else, and yes, he’d always felt _kind_ _of_ safe with Alastair. But you know what? If the man was just going to fucking toss Dean to his friends every now and then, then all this was for nothing. The fucking _point_ of having a sugar daddy instead of not being a common street whore was that Dean would be able to feel safe in the knowledge that he was only pleasing the one man.

“ _Fuck_ this shit,” Dean spat as he hastily packed all his books and notes. He didn’t take any clothes, his one backpack and bookbag too full of his school stuff. And fuck it, he anyhow didn’t want any of the stuff that Alastair had bought him. “Fucking blood money,” he muttered.

He even regretted taking the books and his laptop but he still needed those for school. At least his phone was still the same crappy one Bobby had bought him when he first moved to Columbus. He quickly grabbed his wallet but left his cards, all of them tied to Alastair’s bank accounts. At least there were some bills in there.

His hair stood on end as he snuck out of the bedroom, completely prepared for Alastair to catch him in the hallway. But he heard loud sounds of laughter coming from the guest bedroom and he used that to propel him downstairs, treading softly but swiftly.

The relief he felt when he saw the key fob to his Mercedes on its hook was almost enough to make him nauseous and he could only hope that the noise from the garage door wouldn’t be enough to catch anyone’s attention.

Well inside the car he felt better already, although he didn’t let that slow him down. He basically tossed his bags onto the passenger seat and started the car before the door was even completely up yet. Hell, he was out there so fast that the roof of the car almost grazed the garage door but he didn’t fucking care about that.

It was already dark outside but Dean sped anyway, hoping against hope that there wouldn’t be a cop car on the look-out for speeders because he needed to put distance between himself and the mansion as fast as he could.

He stopped the car just outside the city proper, shaking as he got out of it.

“Calm down,” he mumbled, pulling out his phone of his jeans pocket and going online to find himself an Uber. “You’re doing good, you’re good.”

He had to be smart about this, dump the car and preferably dump the laptop as soon as he’d gotten all his notes from it. He didn’t need it, he could use the computers at the library at the university. It would be cumbersome but it would work.

He got a positive match for an Uber almost immediately and as he waited for the guy to arrive, he put his bags outside the car, tearing a piece of paper from one of his notebooks to write a hasty note.

> _This car belongs to my asshole boyfriend and I’m leaving him, do whatever you want with the car, it’s yours if you want it._

He put the note and the key fob under one of the windshield wipers, stepping back and feeling pretty darn proud of that. Sure, the car’s monetary value was probably nothing for someone like Alastair but the jab at his pride would be worse and Dean took sick satisfaction in knowing that.

He grabbed his bags after that, hiking them up on his shoulders as he shifted a couple of feet away from the car, unwilling to be associated with it anymore. Even though it was dark outside the evening was still pretty young and Columbus was alive with the nightlife, people bustling around him and fuck, he wanted to get as far away from the car as possible. The means to his escape was now somehow just another tie to Alastair and by now the man must have figured out that Dean had left. Shit, Dean shouldn’t have taken the most obvious road into the city, Alastair would probably come this way too if he decided to hunt down Dean.

As he waited anxiously for his Uber, Dean looked up the one address he knew he wanted to go to but fuck, what if that would be the one thing that fucked it all up? Leaving had been the right choice, Dean could feel that in his bones now that the decision had been made, but what would he do now?

“One step at a time,” he mumbled just as a red Volvo sidled up to him. If this didn’t work out he could perhaps ask Benny or Jo for a favor.

He leaned down just as the driver opened the door, a man smiling widely up at him. “You Dean?”

“Yeah,” Dean felt elated and quickly shuffled into the car, his bags all around him because fuck if he was letting go of them.

“You need help with that?” the guy laughed as Dean struggled to fit his bookbag in the small space between his legs.

“Nah, it’s fine,” he leaned back with a huff, holding up his phone. “Do you know this address?”

The guy squinted at the Google Maps open on Dean’s phone. “I think so, but you can start the navigation on your phone if you wanna.”

Dean nodded and did so with a flick of his thumb. “Is a twenty enough? I don’t have much so maybe just take me as close as possible?”

The guy gave Dean a glance, a small smile playing on his lips as he pulled out into traffic. “Yeah, it’s enough.”

Dean sank back against the car seat, gratefulness washing over him. Fuck he was tired and this shit was only starting. But at least for this moment he could rest back and have someone else take over.

The further they drove, the more apprehensive Dean started feeling, though. Because damn, those were some fancy buildings and shops. He frowned out at the scenes that flew past the car window and shit, he knew Cas was rich, just like Alastair, but _how_ rich?

Dean gaped up at the building they eventually stopped outside of. “This can’t be right.”

It looked like a fucking hotel, complete with that doorbell guy or whatever the fuck they were called.

“It’s what your phone says, man,” the Uber guy said with a smile and damnit, he was right. “Look, I dunno what you’re doing here but if it doesn’t work out you’re free to call me again, okay?”

Dean just nodded, paid his fare, and a moment later he was standing by the curb, weighed down by his bags and scared shitless. This was an imposing looking building, okay? Dean knew all too well that he didn’t fit in, he didn’t need the building to loom over him like this. Sure, his clothes were the expensive kind, since Alastair had bought them, but Dean hadn’t bothered to match them together and he anyhow knew his whole demeanor was wrong for a place like this.

And apparently that door guard dude knew it too because he took one look at Dean and then promptly stepped in the way. Dean stopped a distance away, well aware and wary because of it.

“Can I help you, sir?”

Dean almost winced at the “sir”. The man’s tone was professional and there was no real malice in it but it was clear to Dean nonetheless that he had only used the title because his work demanded it of him, not because Dean was deserving of being addressed like that.

“Yeah, um…” he took a big breath, steadying himself because really, the hard part was technically over. Unless having his heart broken counted as a hard part? Dean thought it might. “I’m here to see my friend?”

“Are you telling me or asking me?”

God, Dean hated himself but the man was smiling so he powered through. “Telling, it’s Castiel Novak.”

The man’s eyes rounded out and he straightened a little for some reason. “You’re Mr. Novak’s friend?”

“Acquaintance, I suppose,” Dean mumbled and stoically tried _not_ to think about Cas’ mouth against his neck as the man fingered him.

“Please announce your arrival at the front desk,” the doorman said and opened the door for Dean, tipping his head a little.

And yeah, Dean only gaped for about half a second before he hurried inside, scared the guy would change his mind. Well fuck, apparently Cas’ name opened doors, who would have thought?

Inside it looked even more like a hotel, with an invitingly beautiful reception, flowers in lovely vases, no less than four elevators lining the far wall. Maybe Cas really _did_ live at a hotel but shit, could you list that as your home address? Dean felt small in this new world, only now realizing how sheltered he had been out there in Alastair’s mansion, only going between that and the university.

At the reception he was greeted by a beautiful woman, her name tag reading Rachel and her eyes much kinder than Dean would have thought.

“Hello, can I help you?”

Well shit, Dean wasn’t used to people asking how they could help him all the time. Yes, he’d been pampered by Alastair but that really wasn’t the same. This woman didn’t exactly expect Dean to get to his knees and please her for her troubles. The tips of his ears burned as he walked up to her, giving her a tentative smile in return.

“I’m here to see Castiel Novak.”

“Is he expecting you?”

Yeah Dean was an idiot for sure. He should have called Cas on that number he’d texted from before he got here. What if Cas wasn’t even home?

“No, um, but maybe you could call him for me?”

“Certainly,” she lifted a phone and punched a sequence of numbers. Well shit, Dean supposed this place was swanky if the receptionist knew all the residents’ numbers by heart… “And may I inquire your name, sir?”

Dean didn’t do well with all this fancy stuff but he tried to at least return her smile. “Winchester, um, Dean Winchester.”

She nodded and then looked to the side, obviously focusing on the phone call. Dean took the moment to relax and look around the receptionist area. There were plush armchairs and a painting of what he assumed to be the skyline of Columbus at night. Neither was sufficient to distract him from the churning in his stomach. Cas would answer the phone and he would let Dean in, or at least talk to him, right? He’d said — Dean felt a lump in his throat — he’d practically said he loved Dean, hadn’t he?

“Hello Mr. Novak,” Rachel’s smooth voice broke Dean’s fake composure and he closed his eyes, hoping for the best. “This is Rachel from the reception, I have a Mr. Winchester here to see you.”

“I don’t think he knows my last name,” Dean mumbled but Rachel didn’t even look at him. Maybe she hadn’t heard?

“Yes, a Mr. Dean Winchester,” there was a moment’s pause and then she looked at Dean with both surprise and humor. “Yes. Slender and gorgeous, green eyes,” yeah, that made Dean blush alright… he hoped it wasn’t visible. “No he appears to be alone. Yes,” she nodded when Dean did. “He has two bags with him. Do you want me to—Mr. Novak?” she pulled the phone away from her ear, looking at it in astonishment. “He hung up on me.”

Dean’s shoulders slumped. “Ah, well,” he looked to the side, rubbing his neck. Should have seen this coming, huh?

“He has never done that before,” Rachel said in a thoughtful tone, putting down the phone. “He’s usually very polite, one of our best tenants.”

Dean didn’t know why he felt a rush of pride at hearing that. It wasn’t like he had anything to do with Cas, was it?

“I see.”

“He has even bothered to learn the staff’s names, he’s very kind.”

Dean felt weird. Both proud and like a stone was weighing down his stomach. “I know,” he mumbled, smiling a little. “Anyway, I better get going.”

“Don’t you want to stay and wait for him?”

“Yeah, thanks but I…” _still have some dignity,_ “I have some places to be, so…”

“It’s just,” she lifted a manicured hand, pointing at the elevators. “I see one of them coming down, it’s probably him, don’t you think?”

Dean could only gawk dumbly as a moment later the elevator doors dinged open and Cas practically flew out of them.

“Dean!” he rushed over to them, only regaining some of his normal composure when he noticed Rachel standing close. She had her face downcast, tactfully giving them some semblance of privacy but Dean could see her smile. Cas cleared his throat self-consciously.

“Hi, Cas,” Dean mumbled, feeling incredibly shy in the face of Cas’ intense stare.

“Dean, what are you…?” he cleared his throat again, reaching out to put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Fuck, that felt good. So warm and steadying, comforting. “Why don’t you come up with me and we’ll have a talk?”

Dean practically vibrated with the need to hug the man and he couldn’t help but smile when it looked like Cas was in a similar state.

“Yeah, sounds good.”


	8. Change of scenery

They were quiet all the way through the elevator ride and the walk up to Cas’ apartment but as soon as they got inside Cas pulled Dean into a big hug, letting out an almost distressed sigh. Fuck the man smelled good.

But Dean didn’t have time to relax into the embrace before Cas pulled away again, a serious expression on his handsome face.

“I’m sorry, that was presumptuous of me.”

“N-no,” Dean grabbed Cas’ arm when he pulled away. “Presume away, okay? I…” he let his bags slide to the floor and Cas made a displeased face at the loud thumping. “I left him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me they were heavy? I let you carry them all the way—what did you say?”

Dean couldn’t help but grin at Cas’ astonished face. Just being in Cas’ company was relaxing Dean, making him more and more sure that this had been the right decision.

“He, um…” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling weary beyond belief. “Can we sit down?”

“Of course,” Cas took Dean’s hand and gently pulled him into the apartment.

The small entry hall opened up into a spacious living room and Dean gawked like a moron at the high ceiling and panorama windows. There were ceiling beams across the room with spotlights on them that shone upwards, giving the room an even bigger feeling. To the right was an open kitchen and to the left was a staircase built directly into the wall, leading up into a dark second floor.

In the living room was a fluffy couch, so obviously chosen for its comfort rather than design and Dean immediately loved it the more because of that fact. The TV was on and muted but as they sat down on the couch Cas turned it off, his whole attention on Dean.

“I left him,” Dean mumbled after a quiet moment, needing to say it again. Cas was sitting close but not overbearingly so. Close enough to touch, yes, but neither of them was, though Dean kind of wanted to. He loved that Cas was waiting for his initiative. “I know there was a lot of shit between me and Alastair,” Dean mumbled after having gathered his thoughts. Cas’ fingers twitched but he remained in his seat. “But there was also a sense of security, kinda,” he looked up, brow creased and saw that Cas was frowning. “It doesn’t make sense, I know it doesn’t.”

“It doesn’t have to make sense to me, Dean,” Cas said, his tone soothing. “Only how _you_ felt matters.”

Dean didn’t really think that was true but hearing it made him brave enough to continue. “With Alastair I knew what I got and he… he never _intentionally_ hurt me physically,” he frowned when he thought of all those times when the prepping had been so bad Dean’s ass had been sore for days. “I think, at least.”

“Did he hurt you now?” Cas asked and his voice was hard enough to grind diamonds with. Dean shivered but not because he was scared of the man. He pressed his thighs together and shook his head.

“He didn’t get a chance to. I, um, I left before.”

Cas closed his eyes for a moment, drawing a big breath. “That’s good,” he said, voice steady when he opened his eyes again, although Dean could see the barely contained storm in them. “That’s very good.”

“He wanted to share me,” Dean mumbled then in a tiny voice and Cas frowned.

“How do you mean?”

“Alastair was always my defense against the real sickos,” Dean said, eyes downcast as he fiddled with his own fingers, wishing he was holding Cas’ hand. “Because he was possessive, you know? No one touched his stuff unless he wanted them too and I thought that was good, that that protected me. Sure I had to sleep with him but it was a small price to pay, both for my education and for the safety against his… _seedier_ friends.”

“But not tonight,” Cas stated darkly as if he already knew. Dean pressed his lips together in a thin line.

“Tonight he wanted to watch me get raped by Zachariah Adler while Abaddon fingered herself. They called it cuckolding.”

Cas stiffened on the couch, his face freezing as he stared at Dean for a moment. Dean just watched him right back and Cas opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but nothing came out. Instead he shot to his feet, pacing and raking a hand through his already wild hair.

“Give me a moment,” he croaked after a while and Dean thought that yeah, he’d finally done it. Finally found where Cas drew the line with Dean. Who the fuck would want someone like Dean sitting in their pristine living room anyway?

“I didn’t want to so I left, though,” he tried but Cas just held up a hand.

“Please, Dean,” he said, his words muffled as he put his other hand over his mouth. “Give me a moment. I’m so angry I feel like throwing up and I don’t want to start yelling when it’s not you I’m angry at.”

Dean just sat there in a stunned silence for a moment, watching Cas pace in front of the big windows. And for the first time since Dean came into the apartment he let himself relax and just observe. Cas was really something to behold when he was angry, Dean thought with a surge of desire. He almost looked like an otherworldly creature, poised to pounce on his prey and fuck wouldn’t that be something? Dean wasn’t usually into violence at all, but he spent a moment to fantasize about Cas pummeling Alastair and found the imagery strangely pleasing.

Eventually Cas rejoined him on the couch and Dean took the man’s hand in his, feeling his whole body light up when Cas gripped him tightly.

“It’s okay, Cas,” he said softly and Cas rubbed his other hand over his mouth again, looking at Dean with searching eyes.

“You just left?”

Dean nodded and finally permitted himself to play with Cas’ fingers. Fuck he loved them, so slender but still so strong. _Capable_.

“I told them I was going to wash up and then I took my stuff and left. Dumped the car in the city. I wish I hadn’t had to take anything with me but I need that stuff for UNI,” he nodded to the hall where the bags were and Cas hummed.

“He’ll be looking for you.”

“Yeah,” Dean smiled a little tiredly. “I guess I shouldn’t stay long, huh? I don’t know if he suspects anything between you and me but he speaks about you as if he likes you so he might ask you for help with finding me,” he shrugged. “Or more likely is that he’s too proud to mention this to anyone. In any case I probably shouldn’t stay, I don’t want to get you involved. I just…” he looked at Cas with suddenly teary eyes. “I just wanted to tell you. I want you to… to be proud of me. How stupid is that?”

Cas made a soft sound and pulled Dean into a hug again, this time allowing for it to go on long enough for Dean to melt against him.

“It’s not stupid at all,” he said in a rumble. “I’m _very_ proud of you. You made the right decision getting away from that asshole. I know he said he would pay for your tuition but hell Dean, you shouldn’t have been with him in the first place.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his whole face against the crook of Cas’ shoulder and hugging him so tightly it was hard to breathe.

“It wasn’t so bad in the beginning,” he mumbled, voice trembling. “He had his moments too.”

“That’s what an alcoholic’s wife says,” Cas muttered and Dean couldn’t help but shift closer on the couch, his body burning wherever Cas touched him. “He’s nice when he’s not drinking.”

“I guess,” Dean breathed deeply, pulling as much of Cas’ musky scent into his system as he could. “He was nice about the money and he didn’t hit me so I was a bit in awe at first. But I guess when you look at someone through rose-tinted glasses all the red flags just look like flags.”

Cas snorted and pulled out of the hug a little, a smile tugging at his lips. “That’s very philosophical of you.”

Dean blinked in surprise. “I read it in a book somewhere…”

God Cas was close, Dean wanted to kiss him so badly and it looked like Cas wanted to kiss him too. So what was stopping him? It wasn’t as if he had been holding back when Dean still had been in a relationship with Alastair. Maybe the thrill of the hunt was wearing off.

“So what are your plans for now?”

Ah yes, definitely the thrill of the hunt then…

“I, um…” Dean pulled out of the embrace completely, eyes averted. “I don’t have any. I didn’t even bring extra clothes and all I have left after paying the Uber driver is thirty dollars. I think I can crash at Benny’s place for a while, though.”

Cas’ expression turned serious, dark with intent, almost. He reached to comb his fingers through Dean’s hair and Dean turned into the touch before he could stop himself.

“I understand that it can be important for you to feel like you’re independent now that you’re finally free and I wouldn’t ever want to take that away from you,” fuck Cas’ voice was something special, even more so when he lowered it like this. “But I need you to first understand that I wasn’t lying before. I want you, Dean. I want you to come live here with me. Let _me_ pamper you. You’ve wasted your emotions on that ass for so long, please lay all your love on _me_ now; let _me_ be selfish.”

Dean couldn’t fucking breathe. “Cas…”

“And if you’re scared that he’ll come after you, I told you, I’ll get rid of him. For good.”

Yeah, that sure as hell broke the spell Cas’ words had put Dean under. “Uh, yeah. What does that mean, exactly? Like… hire a hitman or are you a corporate spy or what?”

Cas blinked, his serious demeanor falling as he suddenly chuckled. “No I’m not a _spy_ ,” he smiled widely at Dean’s confused face. “I work for Sandover, just like Alastair. HQ was just starting to suspect Alastair was doing some seedy business and they wanted someone from one of the other offices to look up his work, someone he wouldn’t know and who wouldn’t be at risk of being under his influence, so to speak. My boss recommended me, rather bluntly, simply because I am known for being meticulous in my work. Nothing more than that.”

“So _that_ was why you transferred here?”

“Yes, and let me tell you, what I’ve found is enough to at least fire him, if not put him in prison. Him and a lot of his colleagues. I was just…” he suddenly harrumphed, looking to the side with a somewhat bothered expression. “I’ve been holding off giving my bosses all of the information because of you. I knew that if Alastair went down you’d get hurt.”

“So that’s why you’ve been urging me to break it off with him,” Dean said, thinking that was actually kind of sweet and made total sense.

Cas, however, looked as if Dean had completely missed the point. 

“No,” he cupped Dean’s face, thumbs brushing Dean’s cheekbones gently. “I wanted you to get away from him because he’s been hurting you. Perhaps not physically, as you claim, but definitely emotionally,” he leaned in and for a heart-stopping moment Dean thought he would finally get that kiss but no, Cas just leaned their foreheads together and breathed in deeply. “From the moment I saw you I knew there was something special about you Dean, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Body _and_ soul,” he looked into Dean’s eyes and fucking hell, there was so much desire there that Dean’s whole body flared hot with sudden arousal so sharp it hurt. “You’re on my every thought, day and night.”

“Is that so?” Dean all but squeaked and Cas smiled gently.

“Will you move in here? Just until you find somewhere else you’d rather live, although I would prefer it if you stayed indefinitely. Let me pay for anything you need and take care of you every night, let me love you. Would you do that?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, breathless from how overwhelmed Cas’ words made him feel. “ _Fuck_ yeah, I want that, Cas,” he shuffled closer on the couch, just shy of climbing into the other man’s lap and Cas took the incentive to put his hands on Dean’s sides, squeezing him lightly. “I want everything you’ve told me, now and before,” he grabbed Cas’ shirt, eyes trained intently on Cas’. “ _Everything_.”

Yeah, Dean was done playing around now. He was still shaky and nervous about the big step he’d just taken but Cas had accepted him, he really had, and now Dean wanted to just relax. Wanted to let go and to feel the other man just like he had been fantasizing about. And Cas seemed to get the hint but he was still not pushing Dean down on the couch and ravishing him.

“Dean, you’ve been through a lot tonight,” Cas murmured and Dean couldn’t help the desperate whine that clawed its way up his throat.

“Cas, I’m feeling lonely and vulnerable, just fucking fuck me and make me feel desirable instead, okay?”

“Fuck,” Cas groaned and hell yeah, that was the stuff. “If only you knew how much I’m restraining myself, ever since you stepped into my apartment I…”

Fucking hell, so _that_ was what that hug inside the door had been about? Well that and perhaps Cas was relieved to have Dean here in general, Dean thought as he watched Cas with a smug grin.

“Cas, I may be vulnerable but I’m not broken. You can fuck me if you want it, _I_ want you to.”

Cas was on him in an instant, pulling Dean close and kissing him heavily. Fuck, Cas tasted so good and he was so good at kissing. His tongue clever as it pushed into Dean’s mouth, making him moan wantonly even as Cas turned their heads to deepen the kiss. Dean shivered when a wave of arousal flew over him and he took the incentive to climb into Cas’ lap all on his own. Yeah that was fucking right, with Cas Dean was free to express his _own_ desires.

“I want to make love to you, Dean,” Cas rumbled against Dean’s spit-slick lips. “Not just fuck you.”

“I want that too,” Dean whispered hoarsely. “I want you to hold me and push inside me all sweetly. Make me keen for you.”

“Do you really?” Cas murmured, concern flitting over his handsome face. He carded his hand through Dean’s hair again. “You don’t have to push yourself with me, Dean. I love you any which way I get you, you can tell me when you don’t want something.”

Fucking hell, it was as if Cas’ gentle words were some kind of kink for Dean. He felt his dick spurt out so much precome that the head stuck to his underwear and he couldn’t help how he started grinding slowly against Cas’ hip.

“Cas,” he gasped, ducking to hide his face against Cas’ neck and reveling in the man’s rapidly beating pulse. “I’ve never been as aroused as I get when I’m with you. I need…” he moaned, pleasure shooting through him when Cas put his hands on Dean’s hips to help him grind harder and faster. “I _need_ you. Please do whatever you want with me but do it quickly or I’ll cream my only pair of underwear.”

“Beautiful Dean,” Cas groaned and pushed Dean off him so he could stand up. He held Dean’s hand the whole time and pulled him to his feet as well. “Come, let’s take a shower together.”

Dean was almost delirious with want now and he stumbled blindly behind Cas as Cas pulled him with him. What little he did notice of the apartment left him breathless for reasons other than his immense arousal. Fuck Cas had good taste, matching Dean’s perfectly. A smooth blend of sleek modernism and vintage dotted the apartment and yeah, Dean wanted to stop at the paintings and have a closer look, not to mention the big bookcase he spotted in one of the rooms they passed on the second floor but not right the fuck now.

Now he needed to get Cas naked and to have the man hold him gently. He moaned lowly when he thought about Cas washing him, would that be something Cas would be interested in? Dean hoped so very much.

As if he noticed Dean’s thoughts, Cas turned to Dean as they got inside a big and luxurious bathroom, complete with a shower built into the wall that was big enough for at least three grown men. It even had a ledge on the far side that Dean couldn’t help imagining would be useful for some stellar shower sex.

“How are you feeling, Dean?”

Was he thinking Dean had changed his mind? Oh that wouldn’t do, not now that Dean had finally found his voice.

He pressed close to Cas, grinding his hard dick against Cas’ erection and kissing the man slowly. “I was just thinking how hot it would be if you’d wash me,” he grinned when he saw how lust-blown Cas’ pupils were. “And not just now, I mean…” he felt a little shy admitting it but to hell with it, Cas _wanted_ to know Dean’s desires. “I would like us to wash each other normally too. It… it’s just always felt like such a sappy relationship thing to do and I think I’d like it.”

Cas smiled widely, his eyes fucking adoring as he looked at Dean and Dean couldn’t help but squirm a little as fresh pleasure washed over him.

“I would like that very much,” Cas rumbled, gentle hands sweeping down Dean’s body to lift the hem of his shirt. “It plays right into my aftercare kink.”

“That can be a kink?”

Cas chuckled, pulling off Dean’s shirt before leaning in and kissing him softly. “Anything can be a kink if you have the right mindset for it.”

Dean chewed his bottom lip as he started undressing Cas in kind. “I don’t know much about aftercare,” he mumbled after a while. Cas leaned out and Dean only then realized the man had been sniffing his hair.

“I know, sweetheart,” he said, voice kind. “But I’ll remedy that, don’t worry. I’ll never just take without giving back.”

“You can take some, though,” Dean said, a smile pulling at his lips because he pretty much had to be a little cheeky now or he would get overwhelmed by emotions. “Don’t just make me come on my own this time, okay? I wanna see you come too.”

Cas grinned, stepping away when they were both finally gloriously naked. “I don’t think I’ll be able not to this time.”

He turned to start the shower and Dean finally allowed himself to really ogle the man and holy fucking shit, Dean had to reach down and grab his dick to stave off some of his arousal. Cas was fucking stunning.

All hard muscles, lean and angular. Dusky nipples and a hairless chest but with a small happy trail leading down to—Dean grabbed his own dick even harder. Fuck Cas’ dick looked delicious, uncut like Dean’s and curved slightly up against Cas’ flat stomach. Suddenly all Dean wanted to do was suck it. The man’s balls looked heavy, drawn tight in his arousal and for some fucking reason Dean could only think of the little wrinkle on them as cute and he wanted to push his face against them.

He jerked when Cas pulled Dean’s hands away from his dick, smiling at him. “Ready?”

Dean was ready to fucking burst was what he was. “Yeah.”

The water pressure was divine and though the water was perhaps a bit warmer than what Dean usually liked he couldn’t help but love it for how cleansing it felt. He twisted and turned under the spray for a moment but as soon as he felt Cas’ hands on his body he immediately turned into the other man.

They kissed more sloppily now and Dean loved how fired up Cas felt as the man pressed Dean up against the tiled wall. Their bodies slid together in a delicious grind and when Cas put his hands down on Dean’s ass, Dean couldn’t help but sling one leg up around Cas’ hip. The new angle made for better access and Dean gasped sharply when Cas shifted his stance so that his dick pressed between Dean’s legs and up against his ass.

“Fuck,” Dean moaned. “I want you inside.”

Cas groaned deeply and nosed over Dean’s cheek to his ear even as he prodded Dean’s hole with his fingers.

“Are you okay down here?” he asked, voice husky and Dean could barely take it so close to his ear. “They didn’t hurt you?”

Dean bucked against Cas, desperate to get more friction on both ends. “No one has touched me in a while, I swear.”

“Only me.”

“Only you, daddy,” he moaned, high-pitched and he barely registered what he had said until he felt how stiff Cas had gotten. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Cas’ voice was strangely strangled and Dean peeked up at him through wet lashes, the water cascading down on them and making the whole bathroom steamy. “I… I like it.”

“Is that so?” Dean grinned, feeling smug about having the upper hand in something sex related. Yeah, he goddamn loved being at Cas’ mercy, that was for fucking sure, but he also felt an unexpected rush at being able to make Cas sound so breathless. “Would you like to be my daddy, Cas?”

Cas shuddered, pressing even closer and grinding his hot dick against Dean’s taint. “I know the word probably has bad connotations for you and I don’t want you to be reminded of that.”

Yeah, Dean totally saw Cas’ point but the thing was that he didn’t think about Alastair at all when he called Cas the same thing. Because yeah, the word was the same but the feelings behind it were completely different. Plus, Alastair had wanted him to use it so much it lost all meaning to Dean, sexual or otherwise. Now, though…

“I don’t mind,” he said huskily. “I like how you react to it, I wanna call you daddy when we have sex. At least sometimes,” he turned his head to mouth at Cas’ cheek. “I’m thinking I won’t be able to stop myself anyway, you’re just too fucking hot. A _real_ daddy.”

Cas growled and though his dick quivered and his breathing got labored Dean suspected they would have a discussion about this later. One when neither of them was clouded by lust and the thing was that Dean didn’t mind. Hell, he wanted to have it. Wanted to make sure Cas really understood that everything Dean did with him was because he truly wanted it and not because he felt obligated because Cas had “saved” him.

Hell, he hadn’t even really been saved, not all the way. He had fucking broken free like a badass all on his own and Cas knew that, Dean just knew from the way the man treated him. As if he was a person, all perfectly good on his own.

“I’m not going to fuck you in here,” Cas said against Dean’s ear, his voice rough and sending shivers down Dean’s spine. “I want our first time to be on a bed, I’ll lay you down and sink into your tight heat carefully, really make you feel all of me.”

“Fuck yeah,” Dean gasped, back arching into Cas, rubbing his dick against Cas’ stomach.

“But I can’t stop now, Dean.”

And Dean _really_ didn’t want to stop. “Make me come, daddy,” Dean moaned, pawing at Cas, humping him like a horny teenager and Cas grabbed Dean’s ass cheeks, massaging the meat there with one hand as the other prodded at his entrance.

“Once quickly in here, so we’ll calm down,” Cas agreed and Dean really fucking hoped that would mean Cas would be coming too because Dean _really_ wanted to feel that.

Just like last time Cas fingered him, it was a little dry, the water from the shower doing little to facilitate the slide but it was still enough. And Dean wanted it so much he easily relaxed and opened up to accommodate one of Cas’ deft fingers.

He moaned loudly when Cas took one of Dean’s earlobes between his lips, rubbing it and sending sparks flying behind Dean’s closed eyelids. The arousal that crashed over him was immense and he took enormous pleasure in being able to enjoy this without the risk of Alastair coming in and ruin everything. Here, safe in Cas’ apartment and arms, Dean was free to enjoy the pleasure as much as he wanted and fucking hell, it was _so good_.

His dick sweated out so much precome they both would have been soaked if it hadn’t been for the water washing it away and Dean loved how slick Cas’ dick felt between his legs. Fuck he wanted nothing more than to push Cas down and sit down on the man’s hard dick. Or his face…

Dean moaned loudly at that, body convulsing as he felt his orgasm shoot to the forefront.

“God, Dean, so perfect,” Cas groaned and his body shook as if he was about to come but in the next moment he was sliding to his knees. At first Dean’s heart seized because he irrationally thought something bad had happened to Cas but then he felt Cas’ mouth against his hip and his mind blanked out.

“Daddy,” he whined, needily and breathlessly as Cas mouthed along his dick. “I’ll come if you—”

“I want you to,” Cas answered in a rough rumble, his eyes intense as he looked up at Dean through the shower mist. “I’m about to burst, Dean. But I _need_ you to come before me, it’s all I ever want.”

Dean’s breathing hitched and he felt his legs quiver when Cas put his sinful lips around the head of Dean’s dick but Cas was there, hands strong and steady, keeping Dean standing even as the man swallowed him down.

And fucking _hell_ , it had been so long since Dean had gotten a blow job and now it was _Cas_ doing it and it felt so much better than Dean would have thought. So much better than he could ever have dreamed and he felt his strength drain away as Cas deep-throated like it was his mission in life.

Dean grabbed Cas’ hair, more because he didn’t know what else to do with his hands but Cas seemed to like it so Dean allowed himself to comb the wet strands back so he would see all of Cas’ handsome face as he swallowed Dean down. The sight was too fucking good to be true and when Cas snaked his clever tongue around Dean’s dick, Dean knew he was fucking done for.

He gasped pathetically when Cas prodded at the slit and he wanted to warn the man, he really did but there wasn’t much he could do when he couldn’t find his breath. Concerned that Cas maybe didn’t want to swallow Dean’s come made him pull harder on Cas’ hair. And that made Cas groan sweetly and pull away.

“Dean,” he hushed, mouthing at Dean’s tight balls and that was all it fucking took.

Dean threw his head back, thumping it against the tiled wall as he screamed out his orgasm, come pumping out of him and landing all over Cas’ throat and chest. He shook against the wall, Cas’ strong grip the only thing keeping him from falling to his knees, and he _knew_ in the back of his mind that he was gripping Cas’ hair too tightly but he couldn’t make himself let go as he shook through his climax. It was as if he was being electrified and fuck, if he had thought coming on Cas’ fingers had felt great then this was even better.

As soon as he relaxed even marginally Cas was swift to get to his feet, gathering Dean in his arms and pulling him over to the ledge. There he sat down and pulled Dean into his lap. Fuck Cas was still so hard and Dean moaned at the feeling of it.

“Grind against me, daddy,” he mumbled, his speech slurred and body pleasantly buzzed even as he pawed at Cas’ rock hard dick.

Cas’ breathing was definitely labored now but he let Dean position them however he wanted to and Dean loved it, especially when they ended up with him straddling Cas’ lap, the man’s dick pressed between Dean’s legs again. This way Cas was grinding up against Dean’s taint and hole and it sent pleasure waves throughout Dean when Cas started thrusting up against him.

Cas had his hands on Dean’s hip and back, keeping him steady as he planted his own feet on the shower floor to be able to buck up harshly. Dean snaked his own arms around Cas’ neck and kissed the man as best he could when all Cas was able to do was pant and groan. Fuck yeah, Dean loved this, loved that Cas was so far gone he could barely kiss Dean back, let alone speak.

“You’re so hot, Cas,” Dean mumbled, nuzzling against Cas’ racing pulse. “Can’t wait for you to be inside me, wanna feel your weight on top of me.”

“Oh, Dean,” Cas stuttered out, his grip on Dean’s ass tightening.

“Want you to rim me too,” Dean whispered, nibbling on Cas’ neck. “Would you do that for me? Put your soft lips against my ass and eat me out real good? Make me gasp for you and—”

Cas let out a punched out groan when he came hard, body shaking against Dean’s and Dean only now regretted the position because it meant that most of Cas’ come landed everywhere else but Dean’s body. But that was okay because judging from Cas’ enthusiasm they would have lots of other opportunities to do this again.

“I love you, Dean,” Cas murmured then and completely overwhelmed Dean. And though he wasn’t able to say it out loud just yet he kissed Cas as passionately he could, hoping he could convey his feelings through actions instead. And from Cas’ response Dean thought he wouldn’t have to worry so much about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nest chapter will include more sex and a general wrap-up, aka it will be the last chapter of this fic :D  
> I love all you lovelies! ( ˘ ³˘)♥
> 
> (shout-out to Traumen who basically figured out what Cas was doing here way before anything was revealed! You rock, Traumen XD)


	9. The drug called life

The first thing Dean noticed when he woke up was how warm he was. Warm and… _snuggly_ , for the lack of a better word.

He was on his side on a soft bed, back pressed up against Cas’ broad chest, the man’s face snuffled in against Dean’s head and his breaths hot puffs of air down Dean’s neck. Well fuck, Dean almost thought his heart was going to explode.

After that honestly _stellar_ shower yesterday not much else had happened. Dean had felt completely drained, more emotionally than physically, and he kept drowsing as Cas prepared toiletries and other stuff for him. As soon as the older man had noticed he had shuffled Dean into bed and had thankfully joined him not much later. Dean would never admit it but lying there in the dark, alone in Cas’ bed, Dean had been scared. Scared that it was all a dream, some kind of rouse set up by Alastair because fuck, it had all gone too smoothly, hadn’t it?

Dean had been with Alastair for so long, so caught in his web and so sure that there was no way he could leave that he just couldn’t fathom the very idea of just walking out. But he had and it had worked. Cas had joined him in bed, naked save for his underwear just like Dean, and when Dean had reached for him Cas had immediately wrapped his strong arms around Dean.

So that was where he found himself now, still wrapped in Cas’ embrace, woken up not by some outside force but simply because he was well-rested and that was a novelty in and of itself.

As soon as he stretched his body Cas pulled in a deep breath and stretched too.

“Good morning, Dean,” he murmured and Dean felt a thrill go through his body at the sound of Cas’ deep morning voice.

“Morning,” he mumbled back, pressing against Cas chest and making the man chuckle. “I’ve never done this before, it’s nice.”

“Never done what?” Cas brushed his lips against Dean’s neck, hand warm and big on Dean’s stomach.

Dean squirmed and felt to his delight that Cas had morning wood. “Slept like this with someone,” he turned his head a little and Cas immediately kissed his cheek, making Dean grin like a dope. “Woken up in someone’s arms.”

“It can get warm and stuffy,” Cas said, more like he was stating a fact rather than proposing an argument and Dean just grinned wider.

“I like it,” he repeated and shuffled around in Cas’ arms so that they were face to face. “I feel safe.”

Cas frowned a little and Dean couldn’t help how his attention was drawn to Cas’ mouth. He wondered what the man thought about kissing with morning breath. Dean had never been a fan but with Cas it might be nice simply because it was _Cas_.

“You _are_ safe,” Cas stated in a definite tone. “There’s no way Alastair knows you’re here and even if he did he can’t access my apartment without my permission.”

Dean remembered the whole ordeal with the door guy and Rachel at the reception and smiled. “That’s true.”

“And now that you’re here,” Cas murmured, hugging Dean closer and speaking against his hair in a soft tone. “Far from Alastair’s clutches, I feel satisfied enough to report back to my superiors. We’ll have Alastair removed from Sandover in no time and then he’ll have even less power over you.”

Dean liked that idea very much. “Do you think it’ll be hard?”

Hard like Cas’ dick, pressing against Dean’s stomach. But no, let’s not go there right now, this was a serious discussion.

“Maybe,” Cas said with an air of nonchalance. “But it won’t be on my desk. I’ll just report my findings to Naomi and she’ll have to deal with it. She…” he smacked his lips as if tasting something bad. Dean loved the little furl on Cas’ brow. “She’s not my kind of person, at all, but as a boss she’s ruthless in a very fair way.”

Dean shuffled closer to tangle their legs together and press his face against Cas’ chest, breathing him in.

“And she’ll make sure he’s fired?”

“And more, hopefully.”

“Damn, Cas,” Dean grinned, brushing his lips against Cas’ chest and loving the goosebumps that rose there. “And here I thought you were just a common corporate lawyer, but you’re more like Bond or something.”

“I told you I wasn’t a spy,” Cas laughed, rolling to his back and pulling Dean with him so that he ended up draped half-way across Cas, his own erection pressing into the man’s hip. “I’m just really good at my job. Plus Alastair was moving large sums of money, not all at a time of course but covertly, the pattern was noticeable after a while.”

“I thought you said you were bad at Math,” Dean teased and loved that Cas let him do that, loved that Cas was holding him so tightly and laughing so brightly.

“I _am_ , at least your kind of Math,” he gave Dean an amused look. “Math shouldn’t have letters in it, okay? I’m good at noticing anomalies and I _do_ know how to add and subtract and all that.”

Fuck, Dean’s chest felt warm all of a sudden. He’d never been in love before so he didn’t really know but shit, this had to be what it felt like.

“So what’s your next move, Mr. Bond?”

Cas grinned and it looked so good Dean couldn’t help how his dick jerked. Yeah, his arousal was going nowhere but up, that was for sure.

“I have to talk to Naomi, I’d prefer to do it in person so I guess I should go to the Chicago office.”

Dean suddenly felt irrationally cold inside. _“Okay, so pack on abandonment issues on all your other shit, why don’t you?”_ he thought sourly and compartmentalized like a fucking champ.

“That sounds smart.”

Cas smiled down at him, kind and fucking stunning because why not? “Do you want to come with me? I’m not sure I’m comfortable leaving you alone so soon after you broke off from Alastair. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Dean felt like squealing, okay? “I’ll probably be fine,” he mumbled, eyes downcast and Cas hummed thoughtfully.

“Yes, I suspect you will. And you most definitely have things to do, don’t you? Like listing this as your home address,” his voice was careful now and Dean suddenly realized that even though Cas was acting like he was on top of things he, too, was insecure sometimes. Maybe he didn’t even realize how much Dean wanted this?

Dean rose to his elbow, smiling down at Cas and feeling his heart speed up when Cas looked at him with adoration.

“Yeah that’s true, I’ll have to go to uni and change my address in their records, and call Bobby and Sam to let them know. And, uh, the postal office or wherever you call to get your mail redirected.”

Cas grinned and reached up to card his hand through Dean’s short hair. “And how’s your Control Engineering project coming along?”

Fuck it, Dean really was in love with this man, he truly was. “Good, and even better now that I’ll be able to focus I think.”

“Maybe I can do the meeting with Naomi over Skype,” Cas murmured, hands warm as they roamed Dean’s body. “I don’t want to leave you so soon. Oh, and I’ll have to tell the reception to make you a key. And a tag for the garage.”

“Cas,” Dean chuckled, squirming against the man, pleasure washing through him as his erection grew even harder. “I don’t have a car, I told you, right? It was Alastair’s car and I dumped it.”

“Well, that won’t do,” Cas said somberly. “I’ll buy you a new one, you need a means of transportation when I’m using my car.”

Somehow, for some reason, it felt much different when Cas wanted to buy things for Dean. Not as seedy as it had felt with Alastair. Perhaps because Cas wanted to buy them because he felt as if Dean needed them and not because he wanted to show off to everyone how rich and influential he was. Or perhaps because Dean loved Cas, who could really tell?

“You don’t need to do that,” Dean murmured, body shivering as Cas swept his hands down his back to grab lightly at Dean’s ass. “This apartment is much closer to my university, and the public transportation is fine.”

“I know I don’t need to,” Cas said with amusement. “I _want_ to. I want to give you anything you want, Dean.”

“Yeah?” Dean pressed closer, rolling his whole body in a small wave and feeling satisfied when he saw Cas’ pupils dilate. “You want me to be your sugar baby, _daddy_?”

Cas made a pleased sound, his eyes hooded now as he watched Dean move to sit beside him. “I would like that very much, but only if you want to. And only if you promise to never call me daddy outside of sex, unless it’s to tease me.”

Dean laughed out loud and turned to push the covers off Cas, reveling in the way the man’s dick tented his underwear.

“You didn’t like it when I called Alastair that?”

“It sounded degrading.”

“I’m so glad you agree,” Dean purred, reaching to massage Cas gently through his underwear. Cas’ breathing hitched but he didn’t move. “Sometimes he made me talk like a little kid, it was disgusting,” he looked up, watching with no small amount of arousal as Cas licked his lips slowly. “So I see your point and I agree. Both to keeping _daddy_ in bed and to being your sugar baby.”

“I’m glad.”

Dean was fucking ecstatic but it wasn’t a competition because if it was he was pretty fucking sure he’d just hit the jackpot while Cas just lost his considerable wealth but let’s not go there and ruin the mood.

Instead he climbed on to straddle Cas’ thigh, pulling at his underwear. “The only stipulation I have is that we lose the underwear, okay?”

“For now, or…?”

Dean looked up sharply, finding Cas grinning mischievously at him. “I mean for always in bed, okay? Can we just sleep naked?”

“Only if you don’t mind my bare hard-on poking you.”

Dean couldn’t help the little moan that escaped him. The imagery coupled with the actual sight of Cas’ hard dick ramped up Dean’s arousal to levels that were no longer possible to ignore.

“I wouldn’t mind waking up with _you_ fucking me raw.”

Cas’ eyes were dark as he looked at Dean and shit, Dean shouldn’t have said it like that. Now maybe Cas made the connection to Alastair and Dean hadn’t meant it like that. Had just wanted to tell Cas how much he wanted to feel the man inside him and to feel his come dripping out of Dean’s fucked-out ass.

Cas suddenly reached for Dean, pulling him down into a sloppy kiss and yeah, Dean had been fucking right about the morning breath. Sure it was there but fuck if Dean cared when Cas’ clever tongue coaxed pleasurable waves to roll over Dean’s already heated body.

“I think I’m clean but I wanna be sure,” Cas growled possessively. “So I’m gonna do all kinds of tests and then I’ll fuck you any which way you want, baby.”

Dean moaned again. “Me too, daddy,” he wriggled out of his own underwear and straddled Cas’ lap, reaching behind himself to press Cas’ hard dick against his ass crack. “So tell me, what kind of daddy are you? The kind who spoils his baby?”

Cas put his hands on Dean’s hips, thumbs pressing in. “Why? Do you want to be spoiled?”

Dean arched his back, grinding heavily against Cas’ dick and feeling his own bob with his movement.

“I wanna,” _feel loved_ , “ride you hard.”

“Fuck, Dean,” Cas growled, hands sweeping up Dean’s back as he started thrusting up, meeting Dean’s rolling just beautifully. “Just a moment, baby, hang on.”

He moved Dean carefully off him and bent to the side, rummaging around in the bedside table’s drawer and coming up with both lube and condoms. Dean didn’t even hesitate and in the next moment he was sitting on top of Cas again and Cas grinned up at him.

“You don’t have to prep me much,” Dean said breathlessly, hands on Cas’ chest as the man reached behind Dean with lube-slick fingers. “I can take it, I just want you inside me.”

“Baby,” Cas tutted, rubbing against Dean’s hole, smearing the lube there. “I won’t ever do it in a way that can hurt you. Besides,” he looked up with a wicked gleam in his blue eyes. “I get so hard pleasuring you, listening to you moan for me. I _want_ to do this.”

Yeah, Dean still hadn’t wrapped his head around that and the way Cas prodded at his sensitive hole didn’t make it easier for him to think. Fuck it felt good, Cas was so gentle but also so sure in his movements and Dean could do nothing but cant his hips to give a better angle and moan at the pleasure.

“Cas, daddy,” he bent forward, butt sticking up even as he rubbed his dick against Cas’ flat stomach. “Did you jerk off after?”

“After what, baby?”

“After you—ah,” Dean squeezed his eyes shut, pleasure surging through him when Cas breached his hole with one finger. “After you fingered me,” he moaned, face against Cas’ chest and hips bucking in small thrusts.

“Oh yes,” Cas murmured, his voice rough with desire and close to Dean’s burning ear. “I couldn’t not pleasure myself to the image of you writhing for me.”

Dean moaned loudly, relaxing his body as Cas pulled out only to push in another finger with the first. With it, he reached further and he easily found Dean’s prostate, as if he had the placement memorized and fucking hell, Dean was already so hot and so hard from so little.

“Was it good?”

Cas grabbed Dean’s ass cheek in his other hand, planting his feet on the bed and grinded his dick against the other cheek. Slick with precome and excess lube, he rubbed smoothly against Dean and fucking hell, Dean wanted him _inside_.

“It was horrible,” Cas stated in a strangled voice. “I wanted to go back and have you in my arms again. And when I saw you in Alastair’s lap, I—” he bit himself off with a disgruntled grunt and Dean knew exactly what he meant.

He shifted his knees to put more weight on them and lifted his head, one hand cupping Cas’ cheek as he bent in to kiss the man sweetly.

“I want you, Cas.”

Cas made a soft sound and plunged his fingers in even deeper, driving against Dean’s prostate and making him whimper into the kisses as his dick leaked all over the both of them.

“ _I’m_ the one who’s supposed to comfort _you_ ,” Cas murmured and Dean felt his whole body burning up.

“Can’t we both comfort each other?” Dean mumbled back, grinning when he felt Cas’ dick jump.

“You’re too good to me, Dean,” Cas groaned and Dean wanted to counter that because _clearly_ it wasn’t true, but Cas chose that moment to pull out completely, adding more lube and pressing three fingers inside.

The stretch was so fucking good and not only because Dean’s body knew what was coming next, but because Cas was so fucking _clever_ with his fingers. He reached so deep inside, twisting and pumping in ways that had Dean trembling from need and still it wasn’t enough, wasn’t nearly what he needed.

He bucked back desperately, fucking himself on Cas’ fingers, eager to please and even more eager to get Cas inside him. And when the man finally pulled away to reach for a condom Dean was so tightly strung he had to sit back and stroke his dick for a moment, the pressure in his groin almost too much to take.

“Now, daddy?” he whined and to his relief Cas nodded and rolled the condom down his dick, nipping the tip.

“Do you still want to ride me?”

To be honest Dean probably shouldn’t. He was so aroused that he was shaking and it was actually unclear if his thighs would be able to support him but he still wanted to try. Cas looked so fucking good beneath Dean like this, hair wild and face flushed, Dean couldn’t even believe this was fucking happening.

“For a little bit,” he moaned and Cas nodded.

“Good boy.”

God it felt _so fucking different_ when Cas called him that. So fucking good, making Dean’s whole body light up and his heart fucking soar. He went pliant in Cas’ hands, allowing the man to guide him but as soon as he felt the blunt head of Cas’ dick against his hole Cas relinquished all control and Dean loved it. Loved how he let Dean take charge as well.

And then Cas breached him and Dean stopped fucking thinking for a while because holy shit, Cas was going inside him. Dean slid down his dick slowly, feeling every inch like a benediction against all those bad dickings he’d taken for _years_ and the feeling was overwhelming.

When he was all the way down to the hilt he had to stop, not to accommodate Cas’ size because that was fine, felt as if he was made for Dean’s body and he’d done such a good job of preparing Dean’s hole that it just felt right, felt as if they _fit_.

No, he had to stop both because he felt dangerously close to coming already and because fucking _feelings_ exploded all across his mind and body. He leaned back against Cas’ bent legs, one hand on Cas’ knee to steady himself and the other covering his mouth as a broken sob ripped out of him.

Cas had been lying back, eyes closed and a look of pure ecstasy on his face but at the sound Dean made his eyes flew open and he immediately reached for Dean.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice thick with concern and it made Dean’s dick bob as precome bubbled up at the tip. Dean took Cas hand in his and smiled unsteady at him. “Does it hurt?”

“You’re inside me,” Dean mumbled, overcome by Cas’ gentleness. “Fuck I’m sorry I’m such a fucking pussy, Cas. I just…”

Cas shushed him gently and sat up, jostling Dean in his lap but pulling him into a tight hug before he could fall back.

“I know, Dean,” he murmured against Dean’s ear and Dean couldn’t help the whimper that clawed its way up his throat. “I feel it too.”

Dean squirmed in Cas’ lap, feeling the safety blanket him and fuck, how could that be sexy? He didn’t understand it but it fucking was and the longer they sat there, Cas’ breath against Dean’s ear and his scent around Dean, the harder it got to ignore the fact that he had Cas’ hard dick up his ass.

And the feeling invoked more than just overwhelming emotions.

He turned his head to kiss Cas’ neck and Cas groaned lowly, moving against Dean as Dean started rolling his hips in little grinds. Fuck their bodies worked well together, so fucking in sync even with the cramped position.

“I’m okay, Cas,” Dean murmured after a while, thankfully feeling the arousal take over his emotions. “Lie back down.”

Cas took a moment to kiss Dean breathless first and fuck okay, that was perfectly acceptable. When he did rest back he pulled up his legs again and this time Dean leaned back on them for support as he lifted himself off Cas’ dick only to slam back down again.

They both groaned at that and Dean threw his head back as he started really riding Cas. Up and down in easy rolls aided by the way Cas bucked up into him and fucking hell, just about every thrust nailed his prostate. It made his dick jump and spit out precome all over Cas’ stomach and Dean loved the sight of his come on the man, marking him up.

The build was almost painfully fast and Dean revelled in the way his thighs burned and how ragged his breathing was. Cas was panting too, teeth gritted as he watched Dean with dark eyes, hands clamped down on Dean’s thighs.

The pleasure was so sharp as it travelled through Dean’s body to pool in his groin and when their eyes met he couldn’t help but moan loudly. He bit his lower lip, locking eyes with Cas and fuck he wanted to kiss the man but he knew he was so close to coming that he wouldn’t be able to stop fucking himself on Cas’ dick.

Then suddenly Cas wrapped his hand around Dean’s dick, almost as if he knew how close Dean was, and he grinned up at Dean when all he could do was moan again and try and thrust into the stroking. It threw his riding off rhythm but fuck if he cared. He felt himself clench around Cas and the man groaned deeply.

“Come for me, baby,” he suddenly said in his deep rumble and Dean gasped sharply. “I want to see you come.”

“I’ll—” Dean felt it, the edge so close he could taste it now. “Your chest.”

“Fuck yes, Dean,” Cas sounded completely debauched. “I want to feel it.”

Dean all but jack-knifed, his ass clamping down on Cas’ dick as he rutted his dick into the man’s hand, coming his fucking brains out in the next moment. He moaned Cas name, loud and high-pitched and heard, as if from far away, how Cas groaned.

Next he knew he was being flipped over, Cas pulling on Dean’s thighs and ass, getting him to wrap his legs around the man’s waist as Cas fucked into him with hard rolls.

“Oh fuck _yes_ ,” Dean grunted and grabbed harshly at Cas’ shoulders, fingers digging in. “Lemme feel you come too.”

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas growled, mouth against Dean’s ear, sending spikes of fresh arousal throughout Dean’s already spent body. “God _Dean_.”

Fuck, the way he said Dean’s name spoke volumes of his affection and Dean squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his face against the man and moaning as he felt Cas spill inside him. He kept rolling his hips in small thrusts, really milking it and Dean loved the way it felt. So fucking slick and warm and _God_ how he wished they could have done this without the condom. It would be even slicker then and Dean wanted it so badly.

 _“Next time,”_ he thought contentedly as he hugged Cas close as the man came down from his orgasm, body still shaking slightly. Because there would definitely be a next time, he felt confident in that now. Him and Cas, that would last he just knew it.

*****

A couple of months later Dean’s life looked vastly different than it had for the past few years. For one, he had celebrated Christmas with Bobby and Sam for the first time in years and that had probably been the happiest he’d ever been in a long time and of course all of that was because of Cas.

The man had really delivered on all his promises and despite Dean’s many protest he kept making new promises and keeping them as well. Dean was still a little uncertain what he had done to deserve someone like Cas but he was determined to ride the happiness for as long as it lasted. And judging by the conversation Cas apparently had had with Bobby during the holidays, Cas expected this to last until death and beyond.

Dean had only been able to blush when Sam gleefully had told him what he had overheard and truth be told Dean was just happy enough that his little family liked Cas, anything more was just an added bonus.

Today he was walking through the corridors at the university, head drained because of exactly two things. One had been the Calculus exam they’d just had — and that had made Cas adorably green around the gills as he helped Dean study by questioning him — and the second was the many, _many_ texts Alastair had been sending him lately.

So the thing with Alastair was that he was mad as all hell that Dean had left him and he was even madder that _someone_ had ratted him out to the higher-ups, costing him his job. Dean still thought it was hilarious that Alastair didn’t even suspect Cas, neither of stealing Dean nor busting him at work.

For now Alastair and a number of his associates had been fired from Sandover and some of them were even waiting to go to trial — Alastair and Adler amongst others, to Dean’s smug satisfaction. Thankfully Alastair had moved away from Columbus shortly after being fired from Sandover and Dean felt at least a _little_ secure walking alone at night nowadays.

Besides, judging from how prissy Alastair’s texts were he was more likely to bark at Dean than actually do anything to him. He was probably scared to have assault charges pressed against him too, Dean thought sourly as he opened his phone only to see several texts from the man.

“Fuck,” he muttered and opened the conversation with dread. Alastair had pestered him for a while after he’d left but that had cooled when shit hit the fan at Sandover and Dean had thought he was done with it. Apparently waiting for his court summons gave the man too much free time…

“What’s got you down, Winchester?” Jo asked, slinging an arm around Dean’s shoulders and grinning brightly at him. “The exam go to shit?”

“As if,” Benny snorted. “Ever since Dean broke up with his elusive boyfriend he’s been on top of the class again.”

Yeah, Dean hadn’t told his friends the _whole_ story, just that his boyfriend had turned into a control freak and that Dean had left him for it. And maybe a little bit about his new boyfriend but he’d yet to tell them who Cas was exactly, mostly for fear of jinxing it.

He gave Benny a small grin but then directed his attention to the phone again.

_Who’re you letting fuck you now Dean? I know you need a dick in that whore ass of yours or you’ll start crying like a fucking wuss._

“Nah, it’s just my ex. I guess he took breaking up a bit worse than I had hoped.”

Jo frowned. “Didn’t you say he harassed you right after you left? He’s at it _again_?”

“I wouldn’t say harass…” Dean mumbled but just as he said it another text came in and the sound notification drew both Jo’s and Benny’s attention.

_You’re nothing more than a fucking cum dumpster and you know it. You’re good for nothing else Dean._

Jo made an outraged sound and Benny looked like he was about to punch a wall. A student walking in the opposite direction actually skidded to a halt when he caught sight of Benny’s dark expression and then walked the long way around him. Dean watched with amusement.

“What the fuck?” Jo hissed angrily at Dean’s phone and as they watched another text came through.

_A daddy’s boy is what you are. Only good for getting tied up and fed my cum._

“Dean, this is—”

Dean stopped Benny mid sentence with a pat on his shoulder. “It’s whatever it is, it’s not like I really care what he thinks anymore.”

That wasn’t _entirely_ true. Dean still suffered from insecurities and Alastair’s scathing words didn’t make it better but at least now he had Cas. And he felt like he’d gotten his family and friends back too after leaving that ass, and that was really good. Even Professor Cain had remarked upon his improvement and started talking about Dean’s undergrad work again, much to both Dean and Cas’ delight.

“Dean, just promise me you’ll tell us if you need help with _anything_ ,” Jo said and Dean couldn’t help but smile widely.

“Of course, Jo.”

He turned off the sound on his phone and pocketed it, steering the conversation to their exam as they walked out to the parking lot. True to his words Cas had bought Dean a car but he didn’t use it more than he had to, even though he loved it. Unlike Alastair, Cas had let Dean pick out his own car and he’d chosen a vintage one that reminded him of dad’s old Chevy Impala, one of the few good memories from his childhood.

Today he’d taken the bus, though, enjoying the public transportation more than was probably healthy. He was just thinking about asking Benny for a ride when he spotted a familiar and highly welcomed sight on the parking lot.

“Hey Dean,” Benny said just as Dean lifted his hand to wave at Cas. Cas was leaning against his car, clad in a leather jacket that looked way too cold for the January weather and a pair of aviators that made him look altogether _too_ good. Dean definitely saw a lot of hungry stares directed at Cas but Cas only had his head turned in Dean’s direction and he waved back enthusiastically. “Isn’t that the guy who bought you that muffin?”

“That was months ago,” Dean laughed, hefting his bookbag higher up his shoulder. “How are you still remembering that?”

“Uh, because he’s smoking hot?” Jo deadpanned and Benny rolled his eyes.

“Yes, that’s why _I’m_ remembering him.”

Dean felt his stomach curl with warmth as he watched Cas walk around his car to open the passenger door for Dean, looking up expectantly.

“He’s my new boyfriend,” he mumbled, making both Jo and Benny look at him with big eyes. “I didn’t want to say something before it was official but,” he shrugged, grinning at his now smiling friends. “He spent Christmas with my family in South Dakota.”

“I’d say that makes it pretty official,” Jo laughed. “Wanna introduce us too next time?”

Dean looked at her with fondness, really fucking grateful that she gave him the option to postpone their meeting until he could control the circumstances.

“Sure thing.”

She kissed his cheek and he felt Benny pat his back before the two of them took their leave, both waving to Cas who happily waved back. Fuck he looked like a dork sometimes and it only made Dean love him more.

“I hope I didn’t scare them away?” Cas asked when Dean finally joined him and Dean shook his head with a smile, walking up to the man and wrapping his arms around him.

“They just understood that I wanted to be alone with you,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss Cas sweetly.

Cas made a soft sound and wrapped his arms around Dean, neither man caring about the many students milling around them as Cas pressed Dean up against the car, deepening the kiss. Fuck Dean loved kissing Cas and he loved it even more when Cas took control like this.

“This is a nice surprise,” Dean mumbled when they eventually broke apart and Cas grinned at him before walking around to the driver’s side.

“Yes, well, your birthday is tomorrow and I wanted to start early. How did the exam go?”

Dean slid in to sit in the car, feeling his pocket buzz just as he put his bookbag between his feet. Pulling out his phone he smiled as Cas joined him in the car. “Good, nothing I didn’t expect. And hey, I told you, we don’t have to celebrate my birthday.”

“But I want to,” Cas stated easily as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. “I was thinking we could take the weekend and drive to Bobby’s?”

Dean’s smile widened because hell yeah. “That sounds awesome,” he swiped open his phone and anything else he had thought to say died on his tongue as he stared down at yet another mean text from Alastair. The fucker just didn’t know when to give up, did he?

“Yes, I—what’s wrong?”

Dean looked up at Cas’ concerned tone and gave the man a placating smile. “Nothing much. Just Alastair being an asshole.”

Cas’ expression immediately darkened, just like it always did when Alastair’s name was mentioned.

“How does he still have your number? No, scratch that, just block him.”

Dean blinked down at his phone, watching as Alastair texted him again. Something about being too ugly to make it alone, which was kind of funny considering the one nice thing he’d always said about Dean was how pretty he was.

“I can just do that? How?”

“Dean,” Cas’ expression immediately changed to fond amusement. “How is it that you’re so intelligent in general that you can build things from scrap and solve Math problems that have more letters in them than the English alphabet but you don’t know how to block a phone number?”

Dean grinned, putting his hand on Cas’ thigh. “Because I have my handsome daddy for stuff like that?”

Cas gave him a slanted look, apparently not sure if that had been a jab at Dean’s lack of self-respect or not.

“You know what? I should just buy you a new phone, new number and everything. List it as unknown number so he won’t be able to find you. Yes,” he sounded awfully pleased all of a sudden and Dean couldn’t help but keep grinning. He loved it when Cas went all corporate bigshot. “That feels better, get rid of his one access to you.”

“Aw, Cas, you know I—” he was interrupted by the buzz of yet another text and he sighed but didn’t even open his phone.

Cas frowned so hard it ought to hurt and Dean just wanted to kiss it away. “I mean, he _does_ know you’re not his anymore, right?”

“I think that’s what’s got him so angry,” Dean laughed, squeezing Cas’ thigh lightly. “Amongst other things.”

Cas’ eyes cut to Dean’s and the look he gave him made Dean’s body light up with sudden arousal. Well _fuck_.

“Because you _don’t_ belong to him, do you, Dean?”

Oh hell yes.

“No,” he moaned, phone forgotten even as it kept buzzing. “I belong only to you, daddy.”

“That’s right,” Cas stated in a definite tone and Dean couldn’t fucking wait until they got home.

“I know what I want for my birthday now, daddy,” he mumbled sweetly just as Cas drove into the garage under their apartment building, parking swiftly.

“And what’s that, baby?”

Dean took Cas’ hand in his, bringing it down to his rapidly hardening dick. “Daddy’s mouth,” he said breathlessly, burning with desire as Cas raked his eyes up and down his body. “Eating me out.”

Fucking hell, it looked like Cas thought that was the best idea he’d ever heard in his life.

“Anything for my baby, you know that,” he murmured in a voice rough with arousal and pulled Dean into a passionate kiss.

And fuck yeah, Dean _finally_ did know that, knew it with all his heart and soul.

Dean was hard enough that his jeans couldn’t hide it when Cas eventually pulled out of the kiss and he had to carry his bookbag in front of him as they made it to the elevator that would take them to their floor.

The only fucking reason Dean didn’t hump Cas like a horndog in the elevator was because an elderly lady joined them on the ride when they reached ground floor. Cas greeted her with an air of politeness but Dean could see his fingers twitching and he loved that he wasn’t the only one so affected and annoyed at the interruption.

“I’m gonna wash up,” he mumbled as soon as they were safely in their apartment and Cas nodded as he shook his leather jacket off his shoulders.

“Do you want me to help you?”

Well fuck, if Dean had blushed brighter he might have just caught on fire. “I…” _did_ he? “Maybe next time?” he answered in a tight voice, feeling arousal shoot through him at the thought. “It’s too soon.”

Cas nodded and went over to crowd Dean up against the wall, one hand coming up to grip Dean’s chin lightly and turn his head up so that Cas could kiss him sloppily.

“Next time,” he agreed in a growl and fuck, Dean kind of wanted it now. Wanted Cas’ nimble and gentle fingers on him, _inside_ him. But it really was too soon in their relationship to do something like that, he thought, although he loved it so much that Cas seemed fine with it.

The shower he took was mostly perfunctory and because he really wanted to make sure he was clean back there. Fuck, Dean had never had a rim job but he wanted it so much with Cas and he wanted the experience to be good for Cas too.

Dean almost came when he was fingering himself and he was decidedly shaky when he eventually joined Cas in the bedroom. The man was on their bed, undressed except for his underwear and Dean relished the sight of Cas naked like he always did.

“What a treat,” Cas murmured, eyes wandering freely over Dean’s naked body and Dean couldn’t help but reach down to stroke his dick slowly. “Come here, baby, let me touch you.”

Dean almost fucking tripped over himself in his haste to get on the bed and as soon as he did Cas vaulted over him, pushing Dean to his back and kissing him deeply. Groaning into the kiss, Cas grinded his hard dick against Dean’s, smearing Dean’s precome all over his underwear and apparently loving it.

“Fuck, daddy,” Dean whined and it made Cas growl possessively as he started kissing his way down Dean’s neck to his chest.

“Say it again, Dean. Who do you belong to?”

Dean gasped when the man took one of his already hard nipples into his talented mouth, licking over the hard nub as Dean arched his back into the touch.

“You, Cas, I—ah, _fuck_ —I belong only to you.”

“That’s right,” Cas murmured, pulling away to roll Dean to his stomach. “I love you so much, Dean. You’re so precious to me, so beautiful and intelligent.”

Dean whined again, overwhelmed as always when Cas started praising him like this. The man’s words were like balm on his tattered soul and Dean loved how Cas seemed to get off on telling Dean he was perfect in every way. It was such a weird kink to have, he thought, but he loved it. Loved that something that made him happy made Cas almost even happier; that they could share this.

“I love you too, daddy,” he mumbled, shy and still scared of the word, for how big it felt and how easily it could be ruined. But he didn’t regret saying it to Cas, not the first time and not any of the other times since.

“Oh, Dean,” Cas sighed out, his pleasure evident in his tone of voice and Dean shuddered when he felt lips against his spine. “Sweet, sweet boy. Come, raise your hips for daddy and let me give you what you want. You deserve it.”

Dean gathered his legs under himself, arching his back to jut his butt up, blushing as he felt Cas’ mouth trail kisses down his crack.

 _“Fuck, he’s really gonna do it,”_ Dean thought, his dick jumping between his legs at the mere thought.

His whole body tensed and when Cas grabbed his ass cheeks, pulling them apart to delve in deeper, Dean made an embarrassing sound and bucked back so hard he almost knocked Cas off balance. It made the man chuckle and Dean moaned when Cas just dove right back in again.

Tongue speared, Cas prodded at Dean’s hole, slicking it up before he licked a wide stripe from Dean’s taint to his tailbone. Fuck, it was so _dirty_ , so fucking naughty that Dean’s dick jumped again, spitting out so much precome it dribbled down to the bed.

Cas was so clever with his tongue, using it to lick every nook and cranny, flattening it to slick up Dean’s whole crack and his butt cheeks. Warm and wet, it went over Dean’s entire hole, making him jittery with desire as Cas moaned at the feeling. When he swirled his tongue against Dean’s twitching hole, it made Dean almost choke on his own breath. The pleasure that seared through him was sharp and urgent, pushing him closer to the edge. And fucking hell, when the man fucking _sucked_ harshly at the puckered skin Dean didn’t know what the fuck happened but maybe he blacked out a little.

He moaned and twitched, hole aching as Cas poked at it with the tip of his tongue, close but not close enough. Frustration warred with arousal in Dean’s body and he felt hot flashes travel up and down his spine, making him sweat. He fisted the bedsheets harshly and melted completely as Cas kept eating him out, the sound of the man’s sloppy slurping filling the room until Dean barely could take it anymore.

“It feels so good, daddy,” he moaned, voice muffled against Cas’ pillow. “You’re so good with your tongue.”

Cas pulled off a little, nipping on Dean’s cheek as he did. “It’s only because I like doing it,” he said, his voice a rough rumble. Dean whined and butted his ass back against Cas’ face, loving the way Cas massaged the meat on his cheeks. “You sound so fucking beautiful, Dean.”

“Fuck me, daddy.”

Cas nuzzled against Dean’s ass, licking languidly into his crack for a moment. “Do you want my dick, or do you want to come on my tongue?”

Dean’s breathing hiccupped and Cas chuckled as if he understood perfectly how Dean felt and judging by how expertly he ate Dean out that might just be true. Dean was fucking delirious with want when Cas fucking _finally_ breached his hole with the tip of his tongue. The man’s saliva ran down Dean’s taint and balls and it should probably feel gross but Dean fucking loved it. It made him feel so goddamn desired and pleasure shot through him when Cas scraped his teeth over Dean’s cheek, only to lick it soothingly as he prodded Dean’s hole with his finger. When he started tongue-fucking Dean at the same time as he reached around and stroked Dean’s dick there was really nothing for Dean to do but scream and come like a fucking freight train.

Cas groaned and milked Dean’s dick until he was a shuddering mess and as soon as Cas pulled away Dean collapsed to his side, chest heaving as he gulped in air like a man drowning. He looked at Cas with hooded eyes, desire coursing through him as he watched Cas push down his underwear and start stroking his hard dick with quick flicks of his wrist.

“One more time, Dean,” he groaned, voice so full of craving that Dean could only smile and stretch out, showing off his whole body.

“I belong to you,” he said without hesitation, the words sweet and setting a fire in his heart and groin alike. “Only yours, Cas.”

Cas threw his head back, a rough rumble ripping from deep within his chest as he came all over Dean’s body. Dean smiled wider and reached for the man, easily pulling Cas’ pliant body into a crushing hug.

“Only mine,” Cas murmured and Dean turned their heads to kiss him. Gently and lovingly, _possessively_.

“And you’re mine now,” he smiled again when Cas grinned dopily at him, feeling the love like a living thing in the room, wrapping securely around them.

Downstairs Dean’s phone still buzzed with incoming texts, lonely and forgotten just like the demons of Dean’s past, Cas’ presence having erased everything bad and hooking Dean on the drug called life.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so this is it! I can’t tell you how much fun I’ve had writing this with BeeCas (the planning phase alone was a hoot!) and then sharing it with you all, I simply adore you and I sincerely hoped you liked our little collaboration project <333
> 
> If you feel it’s deserving and you’re able to, don’t hesitate to drop by [this Twitter thread](https://twitter.com/SPNzation/status/1116229601540419586) to buy a coffee! :D


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